I translated the Ea-Nasir complaint into vulcan and engraved it in on a cooper plate
The tumblrest sentence I have ever seen
ojovivo

Origami Around

#extradirty
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
YOU ARE THE REASON
d e v o n

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@theartofmadeline

roma★
official daine visual archive
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@petralemaitre
I translated the Ea-Nasir complaint into vulcan and engraved it in on a cooper plate
The tumblrest sentence I have ever seen

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Doing research into 2013 ISU events and I… did not realize that Patrick Chan won gold over Yuzuru Hanyu multiple times??? Wow, good on Patrick Chan!!
I thought about just tagging this 'nuff said, but it's not.
I want to say something to all of the women under 50 on this site. Ready? You do not have to be over 50 to start taking up space.
Can I make that blink? Is that a thing Tumblr can do? Because, seriously. The sooner you believe you are allowed to take up space, the better life will be.
Me: I don't know, maybe I was overstating how bad my migraines are to the neurologist. :-/
My best friend:
#THIS BITCH #do you know how many times a week this winter she got a migraine??? #Or this spring? #THIS SUMMER? #CALL OUT POST#between this and 'well maybe I don't have asthma and am just choosing to wheeze for aesthetic purposes' #I will be inflicting one million 'well maybe I could talk if I just tried harder' DON'T TEST ME (tags via @arinrowan)
Arin did you just turn MY post into a callout post?
Crawling out of the well of deep tumblr for the purpose, yes
#for every note this gets op has 1(one) day where she's not allowed to say maybe her disabilities what disable her are fake or made up (@arinrowan again)
I don't think you can do that?
Can I do that?
Yes
No
You know, thinking about it, I imagine the Leverage crew are pretty philanthropic. Parker might have had to be introduced to the concept (”You just give them money and they go away with it? How does that work?”) but probably once she got her head around it she’d be into it.
What gets me is how god damned frustrating it would be to work somewhere that one of the Leverage crew supports. Nate would be okay, he’d just make small monthly gifts to ten million different organizations so that nobody thinks he’s worth very much (he doesn’t own his home and he gives such small amounts monthly that Development writes him off as an earnest but low-capacity donor who should get a thank-you card around the holidays). It’s probably a bigger inconvenience to him because he’s on every nonprofit mailing list known to man. He has so many address labels, guys. (I don’t want to be Nate but I am Nate. I have so many address labels.)
Sophie I imagine has an extravagant alias for every charity she supports; she gives outrageous amounts and in return demands only attention and adulation, tickets to all the galas, and to be in at least one photo in every annual report. We have a donor like this – she’s genuinely invested in our work, gives generously of her time and money, is never rude or demanding, but if she’s in the room all eyes must be on her at all times. I actually really like her but constant exposure could get…tiring.
Eliot just sends enormous, anonymous checks once a year through a shell company or DAF, which while not unusual would be irritating in that they can’t ever reach out to thank him and/or steward him into a larger gift appealing to his interests. They can’t even send him dumb swag! He deserves a charity-branded bottle opener and keychain flashlight! (He has stolen all of Nate’s, but they don’t know that.) Still, they’ve probably got a fun nickname for him; I have a few people in my research files who are simply named after characters from Greek mythology because that’s all the data I have or am allowed to store.
For a long time Hardison just dumped money into the bank accounts of his charities of choice, seamlessly, invisibly – it just APPEARED in the account, and he was cool with that until he checked back after a few years and found none of his money was being used because they couldn’t figure out where it was coming from and were worried it was a clerical error despite the bank assuring them otherwise. Now he still dumps money into the accounts but he entertains himself building an elaborate digital paper trail so that the accounting all works. Have you ever watched a Gift Processing office try to balance a nonprofit’s books? Sometimes they cry! Don’t be mean to them, Hardison.
Parker, bless her heart, just leaves bags of money on the doorsteps of random employees with notes directing how, in general terms, it should be spent. If she’s particularly pleased with the climbability of their home, she leaves a donut for them, too. Generally if she mentions she’s done this to the crew, Eliot calls up the charity to assure them that the large bag of cash was a legitimate donation and is not some kind of money-laundering scam. (That was ONE TIME Eliot, and the IRS didn’t even NOTICE.) This happened to me once. A tiny old lady in a Cubs jacket showed up to our office with a backpack full of money and it was a very intense morning.
Anyway, what I’m saying is that every year, across the span of roughly two weeks, Hardison’s Nana’s church gets their regular $25 check from that nice Mr. Ford, a visit from the very devout but slightly weird Madam Sofia who wants a private choir recital, an enormous check from a bank in the Bahamas with no name attached, a large direct deposit from a heretofore-undiscovered bond the church invested in a decade ago, and a large bag of cash with a dozen donuts on it and a note reading THANK YOU FOR THE NEW ROOF IT WAS VERY SLIPPERY AND FUN. PLEASE BUY STUFFED ANIMALS FOR CHILDREN WHO NEED STUFFED ANIMALS.

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working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent
It also deeply bothers me how many people pull the "okay now ask the average African American how they feel about gay and trans people" as a gotcha, to try to act as though Black people specifically hate and are oppressing queer and trans people (and as if we just, AREN'T those things too).
Buddy ask the average White American how they feel about gay and trans people, since we're taking the census and the piss. Hell, look at the people in charge currently pushing anti trans and anti queer legislation and tell me how they identify. Look at the racial demographics of our last election and tell me who you think is out here going rah rah for the gays and theys.
The audacity to suggest that my entire community is homophobic (I.e., you spend zero time around Black queer and trans folk) but somehow yours is worthy of a closer, more nuanced look... Really some OG white supremacy, actually! "Those savages, they don't understand things like gender and sexuality, they're just angry uncultured brutes!" -mentality shared between 1700s race scientists and 2026 You, apparently.
Some folks was really out here lying with those #BLM pins 😭
Obi-Wan can't kill Anakin because of his attachment but straight up thinks that Luke should be able to and even seems confused by Luke's hesitation. He really believes he has the right not to kill Anakin over Anakin's own flesh and blood. Wow wow wow wow. Wow.
On one hand, yes, that is pretty fucked up.
On the missing hand, it's not like Luke ever knows Anakin as anybody other than The One, The Only Darth Vader, Sith Lord, Scourge of the Galaxy, Dismemberer of Sons, Torturer of Princesses, Stealer of Smugglers. All Luke's hope that Vader has a sekrit gooey marshmallow center is based on Luke being Like That, not on anything Vader ever does in the realm of good parenting.
Anakin Skywalker isn't a real person to Luke, who thinks he was a drug runner and then finds out he's Evil Incarnate, in the same way that he's a real person to Obi-Wan. Anakin Skywalker, to Luke, is a web of lies embodied in an actual person who makes some truly godawful decisions in the realm of being an aspiring father figure, which are topped only by the godawful decisions Anakin had previously made in the realm of being a husband and Jedi Knight.
"Kill your father who has shown you affection." -- fucked! up!
"Kill Darth Vader, who has tried to kill you and successfully killed untold numbers of people." -- a lot more understandable.
"Kill Anakin Skywalker because I really should have but I wasn't feeling merciful that day." -- the Skywalker tragedy.
Out at 11 to keep the water trough from slushing up. This time I took Pity on Rosalie and put her coat on. K bought it in the fall, and I don't think she has ever worn it before. She was not thrilled.
She said, "I - can just stay on the porch? Right?"
As a matter of fact, no, Rosalie, you cannot.
I can't even.
She did eventually get the hang of moving in it, but continued jumping into the air and shaking vigorously, trying to get rid of it.
Meanwhile, Hero and the gang are just hanging out by the haybale. Enduring stoically.
The part where I had to climb the damned apple tree, in my winter layers and boots, to force the idiot chickens to go in their coop does not bear talking about. There was hostile language on both sides.
@zooarchaeologyatdinner I'm wheezing, coughing, laughing, wiping tears away. You simply MUST tell the rest of the story.
😅 sometimes, one chooses to get err... a less modern breed of chicken. Like, say, Icelandics. And chooses to let broodies hatch out chicks because chicken is tasty, and hey, I got these birds in part because of their reliable brooding and mothering instincts.
Unfortunately this means that come mid to late summer, the cockerels are ready to strike out on their own ie. Stop sleeping with those silly grownups (alternate version as reported by the adult chickens: parents kick those absolute idiot teenagers out of the coop perches due to a serious case of Excessive Hormones and Unruly Behaviour) (a pattern that does seem to match with their jungle fowl ancestors)
Then, when one goes out to lock up the coop at night, one is faced with the tree nearest the coop being filled - up to a height of about 30' - with chickens who are convinced this is the Best and Only place to sleep. (To be clear there is significantly more indoor perch space than actually needed, they could and do all comfortably fit inside)
Choices at this point are:
a) feed the raccoons (not ideal on many levels including but not limited to that's *my* future dinner dangit!)
b) shake the tree (at best resulting in confused and irritated chickens landing on one's head, also not ideal)
c) get out the leaf blower because I have yet to meet a chicken that enjoys its butt fluff being suddenly blown backwards
So C it is. Which thankfully after a few days does result in being able to run the chickens out of the tree just by turning it on for a few seconds. They aren't stupid birds. But those first few days I do have to stand around under the tree (or on the coop roof) causally leafblowing my chickens.
It's the only reason we own a leaf blower.
I am ENTRANCED at the mental image. Thank you so much.
That picture of Lady Gaga as a child where she looks like a child pretending to be Lady Gaga means so much to me
Like I’m so serious 😭

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sometimes asexuality is like benton fraser when he doesn't realise someone is flirting with him and sometimes asexuality is like benton fraser when he realises someone is flirting with him and he tries to find a reason to get out of the situation as fast as possible and sometimes asexuality is like when benton fraser enjoys getting ordered about a bit by a brunette woman but doesn't really know what to do with that information because it's not try for a sexual relationship so he'd better just get ordered about some more and sometimes asexuality is like when benton fraser likes being treated like a specialist boy by his best friend.
sometimes aromanticism is like when benton fraser feels like he needs someone to explain the concept of love to him because he only understands it as an intellectual idea and sometimes aromanticism is like when benton fraser feels lonely because people treat him differently and is therefore easily taken advantage of by someone who gives him any kind of attention and sometimes aromanticism is like when benton fraser has a difficult-to-define relationship with someone and prefers not to define it and sometimes aromanticism is like when benton fraser experiences the power of friendship for the first time in his life and sometimes aromanticism is like when benton fraser thinks about the landscape of home the way that some people think about romance and sometimes aromanticism is like when benton fraser-
sometimes asexuality is like benton fraser when he doesn't realise someone is flirting with him and sometimes asexuality is like benton fraser when he realises someone is flirting with him and he tries to find a reason to get out of the situation as fast as possible and sometimes asexuality is like when benton fraser enjoys getting ordered about a bit by a brunette woman but doesn't really know what to do with that information because it's not try for a sexual relationship so he'd better just get ordered about some more and sometimes asexuality is like when benton fraser likes being treated like a specialist boy by his best friend.
sometimes aromanticism is like when benton fraser feels like he needs someone to explain the concept of love to him because he only understands it as an intellectual idea and sometimes aromanticism is like when benton fraser feels lonely because people treat him differently and is therefore easily taken advantage of by someone who gives him any kind of attention and sometimes aromanticism is like when benton fraser has a difficult-to-define relationship with someone and prefers not to define it and sometimes aromanticism is like when benton fraser experiences the power of friendship for the first time in his life and sometimes aromanticism is like when benton fraser thinks about the landscape of home the way that some people think about romance and sometimes aromanticism is like when benton fraser-
oh no they’re going to start calling democrats the same thing they’ve been calling democrats for 20 years now
"Here’s a trick I learned during the Obama presidency for handling certain types of political labels. Take, as an example, the Tea Party claim that Obama is a Communist. Don’t take the word of the person making the claim (Tea Partiers). Don’t rely on the rebuttal of the target (Obama), because that will just be dismissed. Go to the group itself (Communists) and ask them. Ask an actual Communist if Obama is a comrade and see how they answer. Watch as they laugh at you, then explain in great detail how they wish there was a Communist in the White House, but here’s a long and exhaustive list of why that just isn’t so. Now apply this logic to the claim that Hillary is pretty much the same as a Republican. Ask an actual Republican if they think Hillary Clinton is one of them. Watch them laugh, and then explain in the same exhausting detail why that just isn’t so. Some of them might concede that she’s better than Trump, but that’s not the same thing. Finally, go ask a White Supremacist if Trump is one of them. As they excitedly explain how Trump is the guy they’ve been waiting for all these years, and how he’s really empowered their movement, use this to guide how you will be voting in November."
Source: a 2016 facebook posts by Craig Enan, since then deleted (OG link here)
I know the “Vane called Flint gay for living in a house” thing is funny but I think in all seriousness Vane was calling Flint a class traitor for living in a house which is in some ways much funnier
i love these tags so much
I have never looked up the etymology of the phrase "out of pocket" meaning "totally unreasonable and ridiculous" but in my pharmacy tech heart and soul I know that it means "like the amount your medication would cost without insurance"
I am not disagreeing with your pharmacy tech heart and soul or indeed what people may generally associate the phrase with here in the present day!
But I was curious about the etymology, and this blog post says:
According to the newest edition of Cassell’s Dictionary of Slang, “out of pocket” is a variation on the phrase “out of (the) pocket,” a 1940s African-American expression referring to bad behavior or a bad situation. Cassell’s says this meaning grew out of pool jargon (a shot that was “out of pocket” or “out of the pocket” caused a player to miss a turn).
And Merriam-Webster agrees that this sense comes from African American English and was first recorded in the mid-20th century.
So that was fun to learn, thanks for the prompt to look it up!

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All-timer
you know how you always have to do mega suspension of belief when reading an accidental marriage fic? taylor hall and jordan eberle are perhaps the only two people in recorded history where it’s like, actually. i can kind of see them doing that by genuine accident.