Dignity. Always Dignity.

I know the “Vane called Flint gay for living in a house” thing is funny but I think in all seriousness Vane was calling Flint a class traitor for living in a house which is in some ways much funnier

I have never looked up the etymology of the phrase "out of pocket" meaning "totally unreasonable and ridiculous" but in my pharmacy tech heart and soul I know that it means "like the amount your medication would cost without insurance"

you know how you always have to do mega suspension of belief when reading an accidental marriage fic? taylor hall and jordan eberle are perhaps the only two people in recorded history where it’s like, actually. i can kind of see them doing that by genuine accident.

Several years ago I briefly worked in the warehouse of a nondescript extremely large e-commerce company. I had no other options for employment but desperately needed money. Turnover was like 150%. I worked from something like 7pm to 5am, my commute was 50 minutes each way and before I got paid I didn’t even have the cash for enough gas to get home one night and had to bum $10 off of my kid sibling (this is all to give you an idea of my abysmal mental state while employed here.) You’re not allowed to do anything besides your job, no music or anything and they track your movement on cameras so you can’t even take a breather. The job is real monotonous, you get sent boxes of items of random sizes and you have to put the items into shelves of varying sizes and the shelves come to you, you don’t walk to them. Because the company tracks the rate at which you put items on these shelves, many small items are desirable because you can put a lot of them in quickly. Everything about the place seems almost designed intentionally to break you mentally and turn you into a robot. So I’m about 6 or 7 hours into my shift, feeling on the verge of a mental collapse, and up comes a container with a bunch of small white boxes, bout half the size of a deck of cards. No labels. Great, I’m already happy about whatever these things are. So I go to scan them in, and it gives you the name of the item and a little picture. Sasuke Penis Costume. What? Sasuke Penis Costume. A picture of that red cloud robe from Naruto and one of the headbands with the metal plate on it. I’m thinking, there’s no way. What is a penis costume? Am I hallucinating this? And there’s so many of them, literally about a hundred, and I know I’m going to be spending at least an hour with Sasuke Penis Costume, there’s so many and they’re so small, I’m already excited about the potential efficiency of these, and then I see it’s Sasuke Penis Costume? So the entire shift I’m like, trying to not put these things away too quick, because honestly I’m starting to build a kind of kinship with them. This is quite literally the most exciting thing to happen to me during my whole 2 week employment at the warehouse. I started to see Sasuke Penis Costume as a friend, some reminder of the outside world, a reminder of the humanity I was becoming so unfamiliar with, a reminder the world contained comedy, art, anime, and penis. I really couldn’t tell you if I ended up putting all of them away, the last thing I remember is my desperate need to look these items up when I got home. I needed a link to send to my friends for when I told them this riveting story. I learned that the costume is called the Akatsuki cloak in my fervent search for the item, and wouldn’t you know it, absolutely zero trace of these things exists online. Not on the e-commerce website, not on any specialized penis-costume websites (whose existence I was not privvy to prior to this incident) and no third-party retailer has these. Not even Google images will show me the hypothetical existence of Sasuke Penis Costume. Every few months I look it up, trying to find evidence that it can be bought, that any of this was ever real. My bond, my friendship, and dare I say even love for Sasuke Penis Costume feels as tangible as the boxes they came in, and yet the universe will give me no closure of their fate. Less and less frequently I search for them, each time becoming more and more discouraged that I will ever find them, but unlike their substance on this earth, one thing is inarguably certain. Sasuke Penis Costume exists to me, and it will live on firmly and resolutely within my memory and within my heart.

WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS @beemovieerotica

It’s probably “chinchin” (ちんちん) which I could see being a typo for Uchiha (うちは).

Sasuke Penis Costume ending explained

I fucking died at “fits a large penis or a small Sasuke”

Wait… if you’re having gay sex and I’m dying in a horribly portentous fashion… who’s finding the Northwest Passage?

My woke take, as someone who has worked in both a public library and a school library, is that we desperately need both more books that are at a higher reading level but a less mature subject matter, and more books that are at a lower reading level but a more mature subject matter, because 8 year olds who are advanced readers are still 8 year olds and don't want to read about graphic violence and torture, and teens and adults who have learning difficulties or who are just later readers for whatever reason are still teens and adults and don't want to read about Billy the Bunny going to school or whatever the hell.

Shoutout to people in the notes also mentioning people learning the language, I should've mentioned that really, given that I've been stuck reading German picture books myself while learning German.

They fuck you up, your mom and dad. They absolutely mean to and they ruminate about it like emperors plotting sieges, for hours a day, they have excel spreadsheets called "quickest pathway towards Giving my innocent child borderline personality disorder,"... But they do.

Some of you Batfam artists need to look up references for what size a child is at a given age. You are drawing 9-12 year olds like they're 6 and 14-16 year olds like they're 12

Do you have anything with that kind of texture that he can safely play with? This sounds like an understimulation issue.

Not guilty by reason of deficiency of other people’s stuff

Narratively speaking, ending this saga with the reveal that his name is Orange Sherbert was a masterstroke.

... how many hearts are in the vet office

He just stole mine <3

Migraines are literally the stupidest thing in human evolution. "Oh no, we're experiencing too much Thing! Better send a rail spike through the skull and blind ourselves about it" like c'mon, man