…night greeted me with a sea of stars…

That punchline hit me like a sack of wet mice

Like a sack of what

I don’t think that’s a unisex jacket at all.

It is if you’re brave enough

The best thing for me, as an ex- Starbucks employee, is the horror that genuinely is the milk delivery when it’s only you and one other shift member. Though, I did end up learning how to carry six individual gallons of milk at once.

Also that change from Customer Service ™®© voice back to normal to informal joking-threats is amazing

Yeah the whiplash from “Hi welcome to starbucks how can I help you! :)” to “I’LL FUCK YOUR WIFE” killed me.

its monday. lets get on it cunts

Pyromancy Monday

sorry it was hole night. what was i supposed to do

Welcome. To Hole Wednesday.

my favorite genre of photo is “excited scientist lying down next to a very big fossil/animal/object/etc they have found to show off how big it is”

if I had a nickel for every time I have read a field report along the lines of “we couldn’t find the measuring tape, but the wall segment was 3 and 3/4th Jeremys long” with a quick math scribble for the approximate length and an annotation added in later of the actual measurement, I would have about a dollar ten. A person is a valid unit of measurement when all else fails.

OH SO THIS IS WHY PEOPLE KEEP TAGGING MY POST ‘CARLOS FOR SCALE’

i think about this post at least once a week

i run around like a fraggle

u dont like grilla ? 🦍? ough ough?

i……..

had……

the slime of my life

and I’ve never felt this way before

and I swear

It’s the truth

3 years ago today this wretched post was unleashed

why are you calling him green shrek?? shrek is already green??

No one is regular, everyone is extraordinary

This post is a train wreck.

Why do you need to put ordinary? Shouldn’t it just be the words without the adjective?

To everyone who asked why I put “World Taco Situation” on that one post