I once knew a guy who believed in Half Life 3

I started drinking coffee as a child to keep warm in winter

Started in high school because I liked the flavor of a mostly milk coffee and a hefty amount of sugar. Drank it in the morning to wake up during class, later concluded that caffeine doesn't do jack shit to keep me awake, so now I just drink it for the taste

Br*tish people are banned from Chicago after they tried to steal the Bean to put on toast

I was born with the dragon soul. you will not put me on hold

No sorry boss, I didn't get a call back number. She just said something about a dragon soul and hung up

going to queer meetups in the lands between and some raya lucaria student calls me butch because I wear full armor

I have a helmet because I don't want my skull to get caved in, emerald

today someone asked me what my favorite even-toed ungulate is… god, who could decide?

this was ignorant of me to post. of course its the muskox

*touching his extremely defined six pack* who did this to you.....

*gently lifting a cup of water to his lips* it's going to be okay. *choking back tears* just a few more sips and then we'll get you a sandwich...

Reblog to give a glass of water to every dehydrated actor with shrink wrapped abs whose life was endangered for a shirtless scene

people asking for the strain im PRETTY sure it was called Love Potion #1 or something to that effect

Please respect my privacy

my deepest apologies

I forgive you

Anyway me when I suck that pharaoh good and hard through his scaramphigousus

there was one brief gleaming golden age of the internet and then mark zuckerberg dropped out of college. dude u coulda been a research scientist :(