stand back, i think i know CPR

my art / ao3 / twitter / redbubble / kofi (iwtv digital bundle)

teepublic store! (still adding designs over from redbubble)

sorry I was looking at my own boobs what were you saying

I am the naked window neighbor and I won’t apologize

t shirt that just says WHATEVER YOU’RE READING INTO MY FACIAL EXPRESSIONS AND BODY LANGUAGE YOU’RE MISINTERPRETING

happy if you have scholarly inclinations there is usually something wrong with your sexuality july

And like who the fuck is this guy [gestures to reflection in mirror alone in bathroom

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

a woman holding her boob should be considered a neutral pensive gesture like when a man scratches his beard

Every glasses-related poll honestly needs to be separated into diopter ranges like wrestling weight classes bc every timeeeeee these +1.25 bitches are in the notes like "OMG why would you wear glasses in the shower!! why would you wear glasses having sex!!" because without them i am functionally blind. you may as well turn the lights off at that point bc i am feeling my way to the pussy like Velma. those are my eyes, bitch

i've got the kind of eyebags that make people in movies say 'you look like hell, detective. go home.'