Elle Woods For Whales

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

fuuuuck i just realized that the future idealized version of myself cant exist without current me being the catalyst for change and doing hard things. has anybody heard about this

i know you said we ride at dawn but i’m not a morning person actually. can we ride after lunch

YES OMG BRÜNNHILDE

I just got on the elevator with Maggie and some other guy I've never seen before in my entire life. None of us said anything getting on but he hit my floor button and then his. He just knew what floor we were going to. With such confidence. Said not a word.

@ralfmaximus Showers that will kill you

Holy shit I thought this was a Sims bit or someone playing with CAD software, but the last few seconds knocked me out

@thebibliosphere I'm pretty sure you are the appropriate recipient for other people's terrifying home renovation choices

Only if you specify in the contract that the demon can't use chat-GPT

This brings a whole new element to my understanding of Devil Went Down to Georgia

whoever wrote this paper has the funniest phrasing possible

happy turtle bit off a cop’s toe in the hudson river day for those who celebrate

A CENTURY AGO

why is it always a male character going mad avenging his dead wife and never a female character cradling her dying pure of heart husband in her arms then dragging the whole world down with her

First of all, this is a very clever use of this gif. Secondly, fuck you.

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

what I've learned from having other people edit my work is that I have a sick addiction to commas