red like roses

most of my days r spent in minor agony split by moments of seeing mayor mccheese and saying “hello baby!!” in a voice two octaves higher than i usually speak

Daily reminder to Americans on this website that American war on Iran is bad because Iranians are getting killed not because you can no longer afford going to the movies in the weekends or refill your car 😒

Y'know what, this reminder also includes non-Americans. Let's watch our words and keep the victims of American aggressions in our heart always

☝️☝️☝️

at my local thrift warehouse where nothing’s priced and you make an offer on all the stuff you find. well i told the person at the register i’m on a budget and didn’t know if i could afford a rug i wanted and asked what they’d take for it and without missing even half a beat they said “how about a cup of blood?” then they started hopping up and down like a cheerleader and said “cup! of! blood!”

Bro this coffee cake is lowkey cumming in my ass right now

I don't think so

*getting really defensive* I’m literally getting cummed in by it right now

Hello, Tumblr user. Here's a non-binary character who uses they/them. Their ASAB isn't relevant at all for the story and everyone regardless of relationship uses they/them for them and they're trans. Your challenge will be to not try to sniff out their ASAB. Go---- oh you're already telling other people who don't agree with you they're wrong and bigoted for hcing it different from you. Okay.

The science behind THC + alcohol as a combination is literally soo interesting because it basically causes the crimson red duckling in your body to confront the serpent in the bronze vessel of your heart. Basically you feel good because the duckling is able to eat the harmonious seeds stored within the vessel and transfer these positive energies into your body. You can have bad highs when this happens if the duckling awakens the serpent and it bites the duckling. The interesting part is when you ingest alcohol after THC because it floods the vessel and causes the serpent to fall into a deep sleep. The duckling never gets attacked by the serpent when this happens because it is unconscious and the duckling is actually able to get fat from the harmonious seed, which causes an enjoyable sensation.

Here’s a new paper on tool use in cattle! It really doesn’t surprise me. I wonder if people who raise animals ever look at studies about them and say, “That’s a new discovery? Bessie does that all the time.”

as it gets warmer let's all remember the two most beautiful accessories a girl can have this summer are hairy legs and a bunch of bruises from bangin around