you believe me like a god

oh this is genius

I remember one time I got INSANELY high off of edibles while playing Among Us, and it quickly became apparent to the other players online. I forget how honestly but literally anything "sus" I did was ignored by everyone because I was so fucking high. I tested this theory by standing in front of a body and the person that actually reported it didn't even mention me. The funniest part was when I was trying to do wires, I kept fucking up over and over again, so I was just standing in front of wires for actual minutes trying to figure it out. A small crowd of players gathered around me to watch and would get mad every time someone reported a body or emergency meeting because "she's never going to get her tasks done if you keep interrupting them." I don't think anyone cared about winning at that point, they just wanted to see the high crew mate succeed in her tasks.

THIS IS 1000% ACCURATE LMFAO. Thank you op

there are some internet friends where eventually you start calling them by their real name and then there’s times where its like nah son your name is crispy forever

this is my favorite comic ever i never don’t want to see it on my dash

Imagine being the gays at a pride event in 2004 living their lives when someone grabs the microphone and announces to the room that Ronald Reagan was pronounced dead. Can you even imagine the hype, the celebration, the pure elation

This is the Pride Month that It will happen. I feel it in my gay bones

you have to be careful reading too many things that are good/smart/well-written bc then you encounter something that isnt and you get confused like ? why didnt they just make this good ? were they stupid

i fear that some of you take yourselves far too seriously for adults who log into tumblr every day

when the author describes someone dying and you can just tell they’ve never actually died by the way it’s written

every time it rains i have the urge to say “well our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out” which no one ever recognizes is from phineas and ferb but usually kills anyway

It's important to have one medium you are pretentious about and another medium that shows you also have dogshit taste

Lets all suck on glass together and make the aquarium clean for everyone

today we render a pixel perfect jar of lao gan ma chili crisp in tomodachi life

if i were in charge of star wars i would end the last movie witth yoda reading the story out of a big book and he gives a little chuckle and says "happened, none of that did." and then he gets out of his truck and waddles into walmart