Soup Time

must feel so good to be soil absorbing rain

accused of using too many ellipses... don't care... there's always more to come...

going from dylan larkin agnostic to dylan larkin shooter by sheer force of Witnessing bad takes

He was tortured and beaten by the ogre

He was beaten and punished by the ogre

He was punished and pummelled by the ogre

He was pummelled and tormented by the ogre

He was tormented and injured by the ogre

He was injured and hurt by the ogre

He was hurt and broken by the ogre

He was broken and damaged by the ogre

He was damaged and harmed by the ogre

He was loved and cuddled by the ogre as part of their BDSM aftercare

Didn't happen. He was harmed and attacked by the ogre

There's always something so painful about watching a pretty good actor fighting for their life to give a decent performance of an absolutely dogshit script. Putting their whole heart soul and pussy into delivering the stupidest lines you've heard in your life. My god. We have to get them out of there

you may have heard as a kid that fire alarms squirt ink on your hands when you pull them. they don't. that's a lie that boring adults spread in order to reduce the occurrence of hilarious pranks. fire alarm pull stations only spray out ink when you piss on them. the ink is a specially formulated medical compound designed to reduce the pain and swelling of jellyfish stings. also it tastes like blue raspberry

i just don’t get it. where are all the women. where are all the women in your fanfictions. are they all out of town? did they all go on vacation together? do they all have a dentist appointment at the same time?

Starting a new sports team called the Tampa Bay Trespassers and they play any sport that they can break onto the field of

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

it's thousand yard stare summer

i haaate when ppl are talking abt mammal colouration and they bring up mandrills but not vervet monkeys.... fake fans

it’s not gay if your girlfriends are watching

what is the edmonton polycule

Hey, four fifths of my polycule saw you from across the bar and think you're cute. The other one thinks you're fuck ugly.