Soup Time

im moving arbitrarily. im just doing shit

actually insane to me that tumblr is a place where you can be so good at being horny you make friends about it

[image id: a detailed mosaic of a duck surrounded by flowers. The duck is blue and green and very cute and cartoon like, with a striking resemblance to the pigeon from the childrens books by Mo Willems. End id]

just got a call from the american psychiatric association. you old dogs, i said, picking up on the first ring. how many times i gotta tell you to lose this number. i don’t want you coming around here anymore. “listen, toots, we’ve been doing some thinking,” they says, and i says, guess there’s a first time for everything. “you’re a real funny dame, sugardoll. reviewing criticism, we’ve determined that the biggest issue with our previous diagnostic and statistic manuals of mental disorders is the anonymity of it all. we’ve been circling around a vague figure of the mentally well without defining the traits of a mentally well person. there’s no personality. what we need is a cute broad with a couple opinions to model the psychological norm.” so i’m saying back up and give it to me straight: i’m the new standard of sanity? can i get that in writing? and they say, “as the american psychiatric association we hereby state that you are the baseline and any deviations from your personality are deviations from the very concept of sanity, at least in the united states psychiatric system.” they’re making it public tomorrow. it’s a nice gig, if you really want to know. never thought they’d let a woman do it.

they're a problematic character TO YOU. they're problematic to me as well but I'm being weird and horny about it so it's different

face down on the ground. it’s fine if I disappoint my parents. it’s fine and I’m not gonna die if they think I’m a failure and a waste of potential and of their own hard work. I cannot change that and I cannot live my life trying to fix it and it is what it is! it’s FINE!!!!!

btw this is what I get for being the only kid who went into the life sciences. never have the same professional passion as your dad the bonding time is NOT WORTH IT kids!

also afterwards everyone who was talking about their cool bunker fantasies were like "Damn, Devin's right, we should also be considering helping people around us." which is the only recorded instance of a retail shift making people better human beings.

Thinking about the whole "there is no platonic explanation for this" thing and how it doesn't account for intense platonic situationships and anyways I think we should start saying "there is no casual explanation for this" bc really what we're talking about is the way the characters in question are Obsessed with each other

I like when you click a link and it turns purple its like youre bruising it