Lovers and Alien Toes

I remember walking down the street and seeing a sign protesting George W. Bush’s war on Iraq, so I think that.

I don't know about a news story, but my first "political" memory was something about the torture memos

my first political memory is photographs from abu ghraib

I know it must have been the clinton/lewinsky scandal, but I did not know what was happening. I just named my imaginary friend Monica Lewinsky as a VERY small child (I must have heard the name and thought it sounded magical?), which was challenging for the adults in my life when I would talk about her in public.

I have been with my wife for nearly 12 years and I still learn something new every day.

I SWEAR I told you about Monicalewinsky (because of course it was all one single beautiful name to me). I was happily playing with no one, asked who my new friend was, crowed "MONICA LEWINSKY" and wasn't allowed to watch TV at night for a little while, thats all

I remember walking down the street and seeing a sign protesting George W. Bush’s war on Iraq, so I think that.

I don't know about a news story, but my first "political" memory was something about the torture memos

my first political memory is photographs from abu ghraib

I know it must have been the clinton/lewinsky scandal, but I did not know what was happening. I just named my imaginary friend Monica Lewinsky as a VERY small child (I must have heard the name and thought it sounded magical?), which was challenging for the adults in my life when I would talk about her in public.

your mom jokes don't work when you know someone too well. I would never be in bed with such a wicked woman. That's not even what I had your mom saying last night. I wouldn't speak to her.

Mad At You Island is where the events of William Shakespeare's The Tempest take place

There is no greater bond on this earth than when you all despise and carry untold righteous anger about one person and then when you’re all together someone is like “so about that dead horse” and everyone starts sounding like Michael Jackson with the way they’re chanting beat it

lately my kids have been playing Baby Knife, which consists of somebody acting as a baby with knife hands chasing people while going "baby knife baby knife" over and over. is this a thing or are they just insane

we have a new teacher this year who has never had kindergarten before & she rounded em all up & told em No Baby Knife and No Zombies and idk how to tell her that 1. all kindergarten recess games boil down to Give Birth And Kill Each Other and 2. the absurd vaguely inappropriate games they make up are usually better than when they try to play an Actual game like soccer

Baby Knife is straightforward. theres a baby knife. baby knife chases you. thats about it. when they try to play Real Sports every single child is playing by a different set of rules unbeknownst to the others and none of them are playing by the Actual rules. everybody is mad at everybody else and running up to tell on their colleagues for cheating every 3 minutes. this doesnt happen when they play Baby Knife

We were incredibly boring. We played "murder ball" which was just Capture the Flag over the whole school grounds (outdoors only) and violence was permitted using the ball.

we had British Bulldogs which was where one line of kids had to get past another line of kids (and vice versa) and violence was expected, much like we imagine dodgeball to be

In first grade, we would play a tag game where I was the witch who was GOING to eat you if I caught you based on which jellybean you tasted like. Capture could be evaded if you identified another target as a more delicious flavor.

In 2026, the chicest thing a gay actor can do is never explicitly come out as gay but also make it abundantly clear that he is. Coming out is too modern. Staying closeted is too old fashioned. But this method merges contemporary freedom with Old Hollywood glamour and allure, and it weeds out the dumbest people who truly don’t get it. I call it the Pascal Method.

Taylor Swift does this

no she doesn’t

You clearly don't go here or to queer history and signaling, or both, enough to have this conversation and I'm not going to explain it to you. You could have asked questions, you could have done even a modicum of research. You didn't and you made yourself look ignorant. Goodbye.

#I'm fucking crying#this is an instant classic#this is the next meme#i can't believe I'm here to see a baby copypasta nary two hours old#I can't#lol#i laughed way too hard#iconic

man i just dont know why im so afraid all the time (<- has the disorder that makes you afraid all the time)

women in PHLEGM (poetry, history, language, english literature, ghost stories, music)

Phlegm Fatales.

everybody else go home. this is the best comment I’ve gotten.

[EXTREMELY HAUNTED & HOLLOW-EYED LOOK] yeah man i’m doing. Really good

We’ve had the Devil’s own day, man.

Lick em tomorrow though.