you wanna save the corn nuts?

For his part, Ilya has always known how strong Shane is. Obviously. How could he not know? How many times has Shane checked him into the boards hard enough to bruise, his breath a wet heat at his ear? How many times has Ilya seen Shane in the gym, adding weight after weight to his bar and barely breaking a sweat when he lifts? How many more times than that has Ilya felt the ripple of Shane’s muscles under his fingers, gotten intimately familiar with the work Shane puts into looking the way he does, playing the way he does? And yet, after they’ve spent days and days lounging around the cottage, playing video games and waking up when the sun is barely casting shadows, Ilya kind of… lets himself forget. He makes himself unlearn something that the rest of the world can’t see past. Shane Hollander, a fucking powerhouse of a man, one of the greatest hockey players to ever do it. Shane Hollander, rolling over to show Ilya his soft underbelly with an invitation to take a bite.

Mr. Hollander said he would chop the wood himself.

--

Which leads to a bit of an uproar because omg Shane Hollander has a girlfriend?? who plays hockey???? that's so on brand for him like. okay who was playing last night and got a goal in the first period, we need to find the woman who has Shane Hollander crooning into his phone like a lovestruck teenager. and the consensus lands on an unsuspecting and entirely unrelated CWHL forward who has never even been in the same city as Shane but the Internet is running with the story and there's journalists harassing her and Shane has to get his agent to call her agent so he can apologise for this mess and she's like, dude, I know it's not your fault, but Shane feels so fucking bad about it, you know?

And unfortunately it doesn't really let up as quickly as they thought because it's right before Christmas and isn't this a great story, fucking Hallmark movie shit, so a very unimpressed Leila (her name is Leila) has to look a reporter in the eye after her team just played a really good fucking game of hockey and everybody wants to talk to her about some fucking guy, you know? so she looks him in the eye and says, no, I am not dating Shane Hollander, I have never dated Shane Hollander, I will never date Shane Hollander, I am literally a lesbian. I have a whole-ass girlfriend. She plays for the Blades.

Leila sends him a photo the next morning at buttfuck o'clock of her gf in running gear like "i told her Shane Hollander would bring me breakfast in bed, not abandon me to go exercise" and Shane replies "so sorry to disappoint you also does this mean Marie got the code for the hotel gym?" and then they gradually become real friends and the next time they’re at some gala Leila's insta story complaining that "they’re ganging up on me" because Shane and Marie dragged her out for a run goes a bit too viral and of course the tabloids run all sorts of bullshit about how he's cheating in Rose Landry with Leila or on Leila with Marie or

For his part, Ilya has always known how strong Shane is. Obviously. How could he not know? How many times has Shane checked him into the boards hard enough to bruise, his breath a wet heat at his ear? How many times has Ilya seen Shane in the gym, adding weight after weight to his bar and barely breaking a sweat when he lifts? How many more times than that has Ilya felt the ripple of Shane’s muscles under his fingers, gotten intimately familiar with the work Shane puts into looking the way he does, playing the way he does? And yet, after they’ve spent days and days lounging around the cottage, playing video games and waking up when the sun is barely casting shadows, Ilya kind of… lets himself forget. He makes himself unlearn something that the rest of the world can’t see past. Shane Hollander, a fucking powerhouse of a man, one of the greatest hockey players to ever do it. Shane Hollander, rolling over to show Ilya his soft underbelly with an invitation to take a bite.

Mr. Hollander said he would chop the wood himself.

--