even up close it's like a beautiful light in the distance

There are Experiences behind this sign

“Hear me out” and it’s the most conventionally attractive alien father figure you’ve ever seen

@leftoverys , I adore this, thank you so much!

fucking optical illusion fun house shit going on with american trucks wth

Your email finding me.

"Mini sculpture" you can't fool me. I see that definitely normal sized man there.

vampires are so full of shit. "oh the human race is beneath us, you're just livestock to us" I don't think you know what livestock is. do you feed us? care for us? protect us from predators? no. you just slink around dark alleys and ambush people. that's not what a higher being does. that's a bottom feeder. a parasite. karate punches your head off

She Would Say That. She would DO that.

spine-splintering whiplash of listening to a radio show from 1956 and hearing the hardboiled detective exclaim "now you're cooking!"

Yes, the phrase they’re using was originally “now you’re cooking with gas”, and was a promotional slogan for the introduction of gas stoves, which go back to the 19th century. (The “now you’re thinking with portals” phrase was a play on this.)

"now you're thinking with portals" comes from WHAT

i hate these motherfuckers so much. our sewer system used to be infested with them. they;d crawl out of my fucking toilet at night looking for warmth, standing up from the bowl waving their shitass little arms at me. they don’t have eyes but you can feel them staring back at you, asking for hugs or god knows what with that pathetic whine that permeates their entire way of existence. uppies! uppies! i’m not giving you uppies you wet toilet freak

my mother is playing pikmin and yelling at them in the exact tone of voice she uses for me and my siblings so we go into fight or flight every time. we thought initially that this meant she regarded the pikmin as akin to her children, but I now fear she’s always viewed us as pikmin

I love Doris and she is so cute but also she looks so much like Teddy Roosevelt sometimes that I can't help but laugh