What Fresh Hell Is This

my friend keeps sending the groupchat voice notes of her eating bussy and calling it "asmr"..... bro go study for your physics exam 😭

I love thinking about “lost episode” creepypastas from a production pipeline POV. I wanna be the guy who gets handed a script about a main character brutally dying with no actual plot and is like “Yeah sure. Greenlighted.”

“Everyone who watches this cursed Simpsons episode dies immediately afterwards” The storyboarder died on the spot right after they finished their work. Every single animator dies after they finish their cut, the studio just has to keep hiring new animators to replace the dead ones. They lost too much money already they HAVE to finish the episode that kills people.

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

my number one woman behavior is saying i’m fine with any pronouns and silently ranking people in my regard based on what they do with that information

This is George Costanza behavior

And they said you couldn’t do Seinfeld in the modern day.

Evil wizard tasteful pin-up magazine but it's all photos of like, skinny old goths coyly fingering cursed amulets, long-bearded sorcerers doing the 'oopsie' pose as their corrosive destruction spell destroys enough of their own robes to show some skin, naked desiccated lich king positioning his staff of human skulls just so it leaves something to the imagination, dark knights in full armor just holding their soul-eating blades out in front of their codpieces, orc chieftain who did not understand the assignment and is posing with a monster he killed like one of those guys-with-fish photos. Or maybe he DID understand the assignment. Hmm.

this was made by a non catholic because dick is step 2

@ashton-slashton @charismat1c-megafauna

Polycules should be able to trade people like sports teams do

Listen -- you're a good defender and your pussy is fantastic, but that's not what our team needs right now. We're trading you to Greater Boston in exchange for someone who has a car.

the phrase really should be "eat your cake and have it too" im with the unabomber on this one