the cucks have unionized

they want nicer chairs

number one rule! never believe ur thoughts after 10 pm . unless its about The Character then believe all of your thoughts wholeheartedly

writing isn’t hard. i just have to extract 80,000 words from my brain using sheer psychic force

And brother, my brain has been neglecting its gym membership

my fav pokemon fact is that 25% of marill are canonically trans masc

The sheer roundness of this kitten must be admired.

what is it that they say? a young man asks the sage why there are no longer dragons. the old man says "dragons are the same. something happened to your eyes"

a young man asks the sage why there are no longer dragons. the old man says "they're long enough."

if you spend your life bitching and complaining about the fact people are 'expected' to engage in the dreaded pointless banal '''small talk''' instead of learning to trade pleasantries with the people around you, you will never know the true and heady joy of doing a dumb bit with a complete stranger and as a result your soul will remain small

#my favorite bit is when i wear my wrist braces in public and someone asks if I got hurt#and I tell them something patently insane #'I got into a Kung Fu Battle with the local canada geese' insane #and realizing that We Are Playing A Game #they will Yes And me #'Oh yeah they've been taking lessons from the squirrels' they nod #and within two minutes the lady cutting my fabric at the quilt store and I have a whole bit about the urban animals all being in rival dojo #The grandma behind me chimes in that the fat raccoons under her porch must be doing Sumo

big one

Baby want SHRAMP