professional grumpypants

"I'm going to write today!" somehow csp is open and my tablet is on my desk and I've doodled a cover for a short story and since I can't stop myself from going "HEY I DID SOMETHING", here it is!!

"And I heard your voice As clear as day And you told me I should concentrate"

Thriving: "I got this"

Calm and steady with minor mood fluctuations

Able to take things in stride

Consistent performance

Able to take feedback and to adjust to changes or plans

Able to focus

Able to communicate effectively

Normal sleep patterns and appetite

Surviving: "Something isn't right"

Nervousness, sadness, increased mood fluctuations

Inconsistent performance

More easily overwhelmed or irritated

Increased need for control and difficulty adjusting to changes

Trouble sleeping or eating

Activities and relationships you used to enjoy seem less interesting or even stressful

Muscle tension, low energy, headaches

Struggling: "I can't keep this up"

Persistent fear, panic, anxiety, anger, pervasive sadness, hopelessness

Exhaustion

Poor performance and difficulty making decisions or concentrating

Avoiding interaction with coworkers, family and friends

Fatigue, aches and pains

Restless, disturbed sleep

Self-medicating with substances, food, or other numbing activities

In Crisis: "I can't survive this"

Disabling distress and loss of function

Panic attacks

Nightmares or flashbacks

Unable to fall or stay asleep

Intrusive thoughts

Thoughts of self-harm or suicide

Easily enraged or aggressive

Careless mistakes and inability to focus

Feeling numb, lost, or out of control

Withdrawal from relationships

Dependence on substances, food, or other numbing activities to cope

Fanwork no.1 I made for 2026 stormblood's anniversary.

you have a follower who is consistently behaving toward you in an unpleasant way

you may not feel motivated to block them on your own behalf for a variety of reasons (it's not that bad, I can handle it, I don't want to hurt their feelings, they probably don't mean any harm, etc.)

ask yourself: would I be comfortable with this person behaving this way toward my close friends and mutuals?

Let me just open up that bad boy to my birthday and see my cool space vis---

I posted this a few days ago and something was bugging me, so I deleted it, and fiddled with it more. I like it a little better now.

avoid the big fish in this pond. do not seek to become one. avoid the fandom aunts, the "big name fans", the One Discord Server.

consider that how someone treats the people they despise and whether you're brave enough to disagree with them, should they turn that conduct on you. and if it requires a significant amount of bravery to think about telling them they've been a bastard, you may want to reconsider being in that relationship.

there will be people on here who will suicide bait you for being happy. they are very sad people and it is not your job nor your responsibility to engage with them. it's up to them to decide to do differently.

try to decouple your sense of self-worth from metrics. the number can never go up enough. i have a project that's >90% positive feedback and over 200,000 downloads and that does nothing for me on my day to day. it's nice if other people like the thing, but it's worth examining why you're creating and sharing in the first place and figuring out what you actually want.

do not treat the dsm like a holy text that must never be questioned

do not go in on sexual or gender identity based taxonomics

do not be cruel to people you deem lesser than you

The DSM is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, and it's very easy for young people or folks lacking perspective to treat it kinda like team sports, or an inflexible Ruleset for How Things Are And Work. For young people with traumatic backgrounds it can feel like a source of immense validation, and seeing folks presumed to be Not As Authentically In Pain or "too happy" for the conditions they have they wind up using it as a way to select acceptable targets for harassment, often by trying to find "fakers".

This often winds up with genuine healing and progress behaviours being treated as evidence that someone was making up their condition, which can and does get people killed.

So my advice there is to just not get involved in that at all. Understanding that everyone is different and has their own journeys, and someone being in less pain is a good thing. Any community focused around hunting down those who Don't Belong will turn on its own members, and it's just a bad net to be caught up in.

"Fandom Aunts / Moms / Parents" are often self-described adults who have made Interacting With Minors In Fandom their entire personality online, often offering themselves as Surrogate Parents. While plenty of these people are genuinely kind and well intentioned, a lot of them skew towards deeply toxic and controlling behaviours under a veneer of Niceness.