The Smoothest Homo In Town

Here is some more helpful identification knowledge of birbs

allow me to explain

i don’t know exactly how long after yuuri’s video went viral that this scene happens, but it’s safe to say that at least a couple of days passed? perhaps a week or a bit more, even though the anime makes it look like it’s on the next day?

so he’s been avoiding the media for days, keeping his phone off so absolutely nobody’s going to be able to reach him until people forget about this madness 

which means he’s also entirely clueless about the rumors of viktor being his coach

and it makes it so much funnier because we know yuuri’s dad doesn’t know jack shit about figure skating, and viktor doesn’t know how to speak japanese AND IT WAS PROBABLY TOSHIYA WHO FIRST TALKED TO VIKTOR WHEN HE ARRIVED AT YU-TOPIA?

TOSHIYA IF YOU’D ONLY GET INTO YOUR SON’S ROOM, LOOKED AROUND AND DID THE MATH YOU WOULD KNOW

so what has happened was probably something like “i have no idea what you’re saying mr. foreign-dude but you’re probably here for our famous onsen so yes make yourself comfortable” which viktor, tired as fuck from his travel (a long ass flight from st. petersburg to tokyo, probably? plus the train from tokyo to hasetsu?) GLADLY ACCEPTS

hell yeah i’m going to enjoy the fuck out of his hot spring

since yuuri is nowhere to be seen why not take some time to relax after a long travel, am i right

it’s not like viktor would understand if yuuri’s parents were to say “oh yes yuuri is holed up in his bedroom but he’ll come out eventually” so as viktor is pretty sure he found the right place and that yuuri is there he’ll just wait and have a nice soak meanwhile

AND THEN YUURI JUST BARGES INTO THE ROOM WHERE VIKTOR IS BATHING

well, this was not how i had planned this to go but here you are?

AND OF COURSE, STANDING UP WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY BUT VIKTOR BASICALLY INVENTED BEING EXTRA AND… LET ME SHOW YOU MY HOT BOD BECAUSE I GOT TO SEE YOUR ALMOST-EVERYTHING AT THE BANQUET SO I THINK IT’S FAIR YOU GET TO SEE ME NOW AM I RIGHT??? 

in viktor’s mind, yuuri is this extroverted, outgoing party animal he got to know at the banquet and was absolutely mesmerized by, so he probably thinks yuuri’s going to be alright with this extra introduction? also knowing yuuri lives and probably worked at the onsen for a while viktor maybe just assumes he’s probably unfazed by nudity?

oh viktor, little did you know

WAIT

WHAT

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN

and she does all these pinterest crafts and now she makes little bejeweled vials of healing potions for him and his buddies. my little geek heart can’t handle all this.

R O A S T E D