here.

instead of a brain there is a mini haunted house in my head

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream of, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

you should be able to right click things in real life and see how old they are

somewhere out there is information on when these streetlamps were erected and who put them up, it’s just not information available to me. and i don’t like that. i should know everything forever.

oh i'm going to misusle and straight up fuckle this knowledge so badly

HIGHLY recommended putting a pillow in the backseat of your car because today i took a 45 minute long nap during my lunch break. when i returned i learned my boss had been running around all lunch looking for me to ask me a work question and i had inadvertently avoided All That by being unconscious in the parking lot #winning

huge fan of when cats reach out and touch each other with disrespectful intent

Batman trying to look stoic in an alley while a stray cat flops over his boots and starts playing with his cape