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Manners maketh man et cetera et cetera.

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if an archaeologist says an artifact was probably for âritual purposesâ it means âi have no fuckin clueâ
but if they say it was for âfertility ritualsâ they mean âi know exactly what it was for but i dont want to say âancient dildoââ
Back in the day I worked at a certain very famous and very high caste art museum in the US as a junior curator. Part of my job was to catalog the objects in the museum database. This includes details like provenance, measurements, and a visual description of what the object looked like.
Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. Itâs got a LOT of objects itâs way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.
Some examples:
Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the âdirty potsâ category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, theseâre accessioned objects in the museumâs collection - better get down to bidness.Â
I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. Iâd be like,Â
A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say âlike heâs hella-constipatedâ). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figureâs head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.
Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it.Â
I visited the museumâs online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase.Â
Long story short? Just call a dildo a fucking dildo. Itâs all gonna be ok, I swear.
This is absolutely the MOST unusual reblog I have ever tagged with what is probably my second-favorite tag, âtalk to me about your work.â
Plus itâs hilarious.
I love ancient art history !!!!!
@lowercasetrashwriter
Museums should have sections dedicated to artifacts like these with a warning that says âThereâs a lot of private parts in here but weâre dedicated to displaying history so we wonât censor these. Enter at your own riskâ or something. Itâs prudish to deliberately hide history because of some ding dongs.
Fucking Puritanism.
Unpopular opinion: Sex exists. Making body parts taboo is both psychologically bad for us and kinda stupid.
Pink painted parrot with flowers by nature.dew on Insta
School assignment was about playing with the formatting of text while writing so I did what I always do and made it about living with anxiety and depression baybeeeeeeee
Anyway now I have something to show people who are blessed enough to not deal with this and maybe theyâll get it!!!!
Anon ask! What's the first children's book that comes to your mind? (That you like?)
Many, many thanks for the ask, beloved anon!
In my early teenage years I was really obsessed with The Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel. The books arguably did not age that well but they still had a profound effect on me during what were pretty much my formative years. It certainly explains a lot about my unhinged interest in history though.

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Reblog if you're bored and you want anons.
Or non-anons. Whatever works for you!
do you ever feel yourself fail a charisma check in real time
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Joplittle as this album cover!

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I absolutely 100% without question believe in the power of betas, and I advocate for getting one as much as possible, and I think they are amazing. The only problem is dealing with beta feedback without crushing despair and endless self-doubt. How the heck do I take critique gracefully and build something better without lying face down on the floor for three days first? (PS you are amazing, thank you!)
If this is your actual reaction to critique and not hyperbole to get your point across, you might want to read up on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and see if thatâs something youâd like to talk about with your doctor. This level of a reaction to beta comments feels extreme and might be a sign of something else going on, whether thatâs RSD or something else.Â
If thatâs just hyperbole and you feel a sense of disappointment or dejection as a result of hearing critique then you might just need to talk to your beta reader about how you want that critique to come at you. Do you want a negative to be balanced out with a positive? Do you want a critique to come with a plan for how to fix the problem? Do you want it phrased as a question rather than as a statement?
We all have preferences when it comes to receiving feedback, and we all respond differently to different styles. If youâre receiving feedback in a form that doesnât work for you, then try a different form and see if that works better.Â
Another thing thatâs important to remember is that these comments are not about you as a person, theyâre about your writing. The person who is giving you this feedback is invested in making your writing better. They want you to succeed and they want you to tell the best version of your story possible, and their focus is on helping you do that.Â
Nothing that we write is ever going to be perfect, and a first draft is even rougher. Thereâs no shame at all in needing to improve. If thereâs nothing to work on, then thereâs nothing to learn. Accepting critique means accepting an opportunity to do better next time, to learn a new technique or concept. Doing something badly means that youâre doing something thatâs hard for you, and itâs only by working beyond our capabilities that we can improve.Â
Be proud of your mistakes. They prove that youâre willing to take a risk. Youâre striving and reaching and pushing yourself to do more. Keep reaching, anon. Youâll get there. đ
Another perspective:Â
It sounds like someone has convinced you that the only way to improve is having a beta, or that the only way to write âgoodâ fanfic is to have a beta.Â
But the thing is - if having a beta is not something you enjoy, donât.Â
You donât owe anyone any particular way of doing things. I think it is very important to keep in mind that fanfic is a hobby - something you should enjoy doing. Donât do it in a way you donât enjoy.Â
No matter if you have a beta or not, if you get comments or not - just the act of writing does make your writing better.Â
I donât generally use a beta, because I know it would be stressful and un-empowering for me. I write the way I enjoy writing, and I think you need to step back and consider what are the reasons you enjoy writing? What do you get out of it?
Of course - if you write with a goal of commercial success for your Original Novel, and you write fanfic to prepare for that, then it might be different. Maybe you do need to face your growing pains. But do reflect over the purpose of your writing.Â
YES. I love having a beta reader and there are still fics where I do not get a beta. Either because itâs not the style or fandom of anyone Iâd usually ask to beta, or because itâs good enough and I just want to post it, or because the content is personal enough that I know I couldnât take any critique, or because I just plain donât feel like it. Having a beta reader is the most useful to me when thereâs something very specific I want them to do. Maybe itâs spelling and grammar - frequently I get to the point with writing where I KNOW that one sentence just isnât sounding right but I have no clue how to tweak it and someone elseâs eyes will see what mine wonât. Maybe Iâm stuck on plot and need someone to tell me where they think itâs going, or help me brainstorm. It just works a lot better for me when I can say âIâm not sure this characterâs voice is right, and also Iâm not sure whether I need a clearer explanation of this particular plot point, and if you see any typos let me knowâ instead of just an open ended âgo forth and editâ. Iâm most likely to get that âI need to go throw myself into the ocean nowâ feeling when I get feedback Iâm not expecting. And also - sometimes you need to take some time with edits. There have absolutely been times when Iâve needed to read through suggestions and then shove it in a metaphorical drawer for a week. Usually with bigger edits like plot or pacing edits, but frequently even with tiny ones. Crushing despair and endless self-doubt sucks and is definitely no fun to feel, but thereâs also no need to beat yourself up over not feeling enthusiastic about feedback. It doesnât mean youâre a bad writer or a bad person if it takes you a while to be ready to act on critique. Sometimes you just have to take your time.
Can I make a suggestion as someone who loves betas? Flip the beta process: ask your beta to read the story or WIP or scene cold, donât tell them anything about it and donât ask for any initial/overall/global response from them. Then, once theyâve read it, ask them questions.Â
Start with reading comprehension questions--and there is no such thing as a too dumb question! What happened in that scene you just read? Can you summarize the story or scene back to me? Then, if there are any tricky points to your story, ask about those: what did character Y do there?  Did you get what was happening between Y and Z--can you narrate back to me what you read? The next level up is motivation and feelings/interpretations: Why did character Y do that, do you think? How does he feel? How did scene V make you feel about this person place or thing? When did you think X and Y first had sparks?
Do not give your poor betas any answers to these questions, or give hints as to the ârightâ answers--because theyâre not wrong or right. YOU are either coming across or you are not coming across: if the beta isnât picking up what you are putting down, you have to go back and fix the story so that the words in that particular order create the feeling you want in the reader. If the scene is supposed to make you cry, and the beta thinks its funny, you gotta redo it. If your brilliant plot point got missed, you were TOO SUBTLE and you have to add pointers and cues. I have been surprised btw that sometimes I have not gotten my straightforward plot points across--literally my reader doesnât know what the hell happened, let alone why it happened or have feelings about why it happened. If they donât know that Fred is dead, they sure wonât know who killed Fred or be sad that Fredâs dead or feel Johnâs pain at Fredâs untimely and tragic death!
Then hereâs the thing--once youâve done all this, then you CAN tell Beta A what you were on about and ask Beta A, like, okay, how could I have better clued you in to the fact that Fred is dead? Why didnât you think Fred was dead? Work your way with them through Fredâs death to who did it and how you feel and all that. This beta can now be your collaborator/partner in crime. But THEN, like, sadly, you really canât believe them really when they say the story is fixed, because now, like you, they know what they were supposed to be getting from the story. You canât know that the words on the page alone are whatâs doing the work, and thatâs what writing is. So ideally you need to find someone ELSE, Beta B, and say, again, âHey, can you read this and can I ask you some questions?â Then ask Beta B--what happened? why did it happen? Can you tell me how that scene makes you feel? Whoâs right in that argument, X or Y?--and when theyâre like, *sobbing,* Fred heâs dead, he deserved better, I am keysmashing my way through Johnâs grief, you bastard--then: post! :DÂ
For me, this helps, because Iâm not asking the beta to solve my problems and Iâm also not asking for their evaluation. I can thank them totally sincerely regardless of what they say (and you should--and also make them feel comfortable summarizing back to you, cause whatever they say is good data.) I also hate this thing where you feel like a beta wants you to write a different story than the one youâre writing, or when you get contradictory advice. Iâm not asking them âwhat theyâd do.â Iâm asking them to literally say back to me what they think the words are saying, and adjusting my story based on it.Â
I have worked with a lot of betas over the years, and in many different ways. It's always a negotiation, working with someone new, and you as the author have to let them know what you want out of them as a beta.
Generally, for example, I am not looking for spelling-and-grammar. It's great if someone can catch typos, but I am a good speller and I make stylistic choices that I am absolutely not going to change no matter how a beta feels about it.
On the other hand, I like working with betas who are willing to function as developmental editors; they're not interested in changing my style and they barely ever touch the sentences themselves. Instead they are looking for plot holes, continuity errors, character motivations, the clarity of events, timelining, flow. Often these types of betas also cheer me on and help me untangle occasional thorny rat's-nest sentences that I just can't make work; I've usually called this type of overall beta work "midwifing". (There are a lot of things I write, particularly short things, that really don't need that at all. There's a fair amount of unbeta'd fanfic in my ao3, and for the first few years I wrote, I didn't use a beta at all. And then there's stories that absolutely needed it, that never would have seen the light of day without betas.) This isn't an easy kind of author-beta relationship with the wrong person! I do not recommend this with a new beta; it should be someone with whom you are familiar and who you know you can work with, AND who you know is likely to be good at this. Sometimes you don't have that person, though, and need to find them. (I was once told by a previous beta that she couldn't work on a particular story, but that I should try a rather well-known reccer in the fandom, to whom I had never spoken. That worked out fantastically, but boy was I nervous about it.)
I have found it cannot be a passive relationship, working with a beta. You have to talk to them. You have to ask for what you think the story needs and what you need as an author, however that looks. Maybe it looks like the open-ended questions that @cesperanza suggests. Maybe it's intense developmental work. Maybe you really want a spelling-and-grammar edit and nothing else. But it won't happen by magic. It's working with someone to make your story better, without making it any less yours, and it is work. It can be amazing work -- it can be generative and fun and a wonderful part of being a fannish writer -- but it's work.
I have a confession to make... I thought the idea of wireless headphones like air pods were so so stupid when they first came out. But having owned wireless headphone pods with a case I have to admit that I do enjoy them quite a lot. But we should still eat the spleen of every person who lobbied to phase out the headphone jack in electronics
Wireless headphones: great, can move around without having to drag my phone or laptop with me, chord doesn't get caught on doorknobs anymore
No headphone jack in my phone: terrible, awful, everyone involved should get hit with a hammer
itâs sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.
i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mineâan N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.
so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said âdamn. never known a woman to chooseâŚpracticality over looks.â
And I just said, âoh. you can go, youâre not getting a drink.â And he said, âwhat???â
I said, âsir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.â
And he was so astonished he didnât even argue he just turned around and left đđđť it was like he suddenly became self aware
One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, sheâs the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, âWell, IâM not walking six miles, Michael! Iâll meet you back at the car!â and sits right back down!!!!
The expression on his face when he was told that he couldnât get on the boat, then immediately told that his girlfriend was ditching him? PRICELESS. he just blinked at her and then stormed off like a child. I gave her a free hat and was like maybe rethink this relationshipâŚâŚ.
i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and heâs like âhey. you know what this isâ i was like ânah sorryâ (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some randoâs pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with âheh. you must not read many booksâ
i immediately stop pouring his beer. i reply: âheh. you must not want this beer.â thirsty boy immediately starts groveling like a worm âplease please no i do want the beer im sorry im sorryâ believe me when i say it was one of the most pathetic things ive ever witnessed
gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean
I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.
I'm just going to say it - body hair (and beauty standards in general) is truly one of the final frontiers of women's issues in the West. Too many women just love their gilded cage too much. It shocks me how virulently women will defend it. I barely open my mouth and the "well I like how it feels. it just makes me feel cleaner. sensory issues. I do it for me. feminism is about choosing (to conform)." brigade come rushing in by the dozens.
Well I don't like how it feels. I don't feel cleaner without body hair. I don't prefer not having body hair. But who will advocate for women like me, but me? For women who do like hair removal, they are advocated for every time they step out of the house and see 99% of the female population also conforming to that standard, or when they watch a movie and see all the shaved actresses, or view an advertisment, or open a magazine, or watch a music video, or scroll through social media, or walk down the streets without receiving insults and glares for having a completely normal bodily feature.
You genuinely can't even point out that hairlessness is a man-made standard without women losing their shit and acting like they are totally immune to propaganda they've been exposed to from birth. I'm so tired.
Ok so my kid had an ear infection, right? As kids often do.
The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.
I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.
That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this "procedure". And, as I OWN a medical practice (it's me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like "You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn't. I'm not paying."
And the massive hospital who owned the bill said "yuh-huh you do have to pay."
And I said "I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this."
And they conducted an "internal review" and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.
And so I called my state's Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.
Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.
"How not to get screwed over by companies" should be part of civics class.
Know your rights and know who to call when they're infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.
May this knowledge find its way to someone else who can use it.
This post is super cute and all but like.... This isn't practical advice. I called the AG???? And they got involved over a $200 bill. Maybe because you yourself are a medical practitioner. Not just your knowledge but also your status.
Civics class wouldn't help most people in this case because the AG will not take on all these cases and most people cannot afford an attorney in this instance or more importantly, the hit to their credit.
The issue is not education over the system, it is the system
I agree the system is a mess but I think education does matter because people seem not to know that this is actually perfectly routine AG office stuff. Iâm not the only person whoâs done this- this is just what they do?
Were they going to get into a lawsuit over my $400 bill? No obviously not. But they printed up a letter on fancy letterhead to say to stop and it worked. They followed up with me the next day to be sure, and so ask how much money they had saved me.
They use dinky cases like mine to track habitual misbehavior of large scale companies to build cases they could actually go to court over.
And because people are shocked- I never spoke to the AG of my state directly. He operates mainly by overseeing a whole crew of people. And this is what those people do.
This didnât happen because Iâm special because of my tiny therapy practice.
This happened because this is what the AG office is for.
âThe problem is systemicâ doesnât mean âand thereâs nothing you can doâ.
This is a systemic problem but that doesnât mean there are no resources to help.
Thank you for clapping back on this. I'm here to reinforce. Yes, you CAN call your state Attorney General office when an entity is doing something illegal, even if it's "only" for $400. You think they don't care a hospital is doing a crime because it's not a big enough crime?
Then you've been trained well by "The System".
Yes, that System you say can't be fought? Where did you get that idea, huh? Who taught you that "small" acts of illegality don't matter? Who made you think that there's no point in fighting back because it will all come to nothing?
Might it be the same entities that benefit if you believe all that?
Gonna pause and let you ponder.
Never. Ever. EVER.
EVER.
Let companies or corporations or hospitals or organizations or any business big or small get away with screwing you over without a fight. Maybe you personally don't win every fight, but you lose 100% of the time you don't try. You'll win more often than you think you will. I know cuz I've done it.
So have others. Attorneys General offices bring lawsuits against businesses all the time. They do so because citizens contacted them to say "someone is doing a crime" and the crime doers did not stop when told and got into way more trouble than if they'd just stopped. FAFO. The Find Out can't happen if you don't even bother to report the Fucking Around.
On that note, as OP said, please know your rights! And, in a situation where you don't but suspect something is hinky, ask! The people of the internet can help! So can librarians! So can many others. Find out what is and is not okay for them to do. If it's not okay, report them! See something, say something.
Don't let the System win by default.
Fight, damnit!
Additionally, pay attention to State Attorney elections! Here in Minnesota, our AG Keith Ellison has made it a POINT to go after slumlords, has created an entire UNIT in the AG office dedicated to wage theft, and gone after debt relief for people who were conned by those scummy fake universities. And despite MN being a blue state, one of his elections was a fucking NAIL-BITER.
Absolutely fight the system, absolutely go to your AG office if youâre being screwed over, and also pay attention to the people running for AG in the first place.
Government of the people, by the people, and for the people only works if the people make it work. That's you! You're the people.
"Don't bother doing anything because nothing will happen" confused cause with effect: it's really "Nothing will happen if you don't bother doing anything." Yeah, I know, it's a travesty that they don't hand you psychic powers when you take your oath as a civil servant, but until we fix that clear defect in our democracy: you're serving the public, too, when you report fuckers like this.
Not gonna leave this in the tags:
Suspicion of The Systemâ˘ď¸ is one of the ways The Systemâ˘ď¸ perpetuates itself.
If you believe The Systemâ˘ď¸ is only for Themâ˘ď¸ and not you, it will only ever be so.
Know the rules so you can make them work for you. Or better, how to break them in ways that hurt The Systemâ˘ď¸ and help you.
And always, always appeal EVERY denial of coverage. I had a similar situation to OP's happen to me recently--I went for a routine cleaning and my dentist was on her lunch so a different one saw me and the insurance company tried to say he wasn't in-network.
So I asked @moniquill what special medical words to use and wrote it in the form and sent it away.
I didn't consent, I was not informed, etc.
And I sat back and waited, and lo and behold, suddenly they send me a letter saying oh that dentist I saw for five seconds was in network after all.
ALWAYS APPEAL. Write to your Attorney General. That is your right, that is what the AG is for, as previous have said. The AG serves YOU, the people.
And insurance companies and hospitals are just school bullies trying to intimidate you into giving up your lunch money. But they're paper tigers.
And speaking as someone who has always been very very poor and often without insurance at all: they can't get blood out of a stone. Know that. If you can't pay? Well, you can't. You literally do not have it. So you have nothing to lose by fighting them.
Here to reinforce "challenge every denial." I worked for company that hired out temp employees, and I got assigned to an insurance company to organize their backlog of physical files for about three months. While I was in the file room, I absolutely heard their weekly meetings. And I absolutely heard them be instructed to deny everything, even if their policy clearly covered it. "If they push back, then we'll take a look, but if they don't, then we've saved that money."
For profit insurance is the work of the devil, but you can still step on his tail and make him holler.

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trust i got yall fr đŻđŻđŻ
itâs not weird to find fanfiction from 2021, or 2017, or 2014 that youâve never read and actually taking your time to read it.
itâs not weird to love it and comment and leave kudos because the author will probably still see it someday and it will make them happy.
itâs not weird to like said authorâs work so much that you want to go look for other fics from them.
itâs not weird to go through the authors profile and look for other fics from the ships you like (or maybe some that youâll give a chance because you liked the author) and maybe bookmark them for later.
itâs not weird to read these other fics and like them too and comment on them because you actually like them and you want to let the author know.
itâs not weird to read fanfiction from 5, or 8, or 10 years ago and actually enjoy and engage with it because itâs perfectly normal to relate to something thatâs less than a decade old!
letâs stop treating fanfiction like theyâre instagram posts that stop being interesting in 24 hours! fanfiction is NOT social media, fanfiction is art!!! and art doesnât get old in one day, one year, or even a decade!
read fanfiction! write fanfiction! comment on fanfiction! letâs not let fanculture die people!!!!!
Not only are those things not weird, but you will make us authors so, SO happy if you do. Please read it, and let us know if you liked it!