Tis' a queue

Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.

Some examples:

Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness. 

I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like, 

A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.

Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it. 

I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase. 

Anyway now I have something to show people who are blessed enough to not deal with this and maybe they’ll get it!!!!

If this is your actual reaction to critique and not hyperbole to get your point across, you might want to read up on Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and see if that’s something you’d like to talk about with your doctor. This level of a reaction to beta comments feels extreme and might be a sign of something else going on, whether that’s RSD or something else. 

If that’s just hyperbole and you feel a sense of disappointment or dejection as a result of hearing critique then you might just need to talk to your beta reader about how you want that critique to come at you. Do you want a negative to be balanced out with a positive? Do you want a critique to come with a plan for how to fix the problem? Do you want it phrased as a question rather than as a statement?

We all have preferences when it comes to receiving feedback, and we all respond differently to different styles. If you’re receiving feedback in a form that doesn’t work for you, then try a different form and see if that works better. 

Another thing that’s important to remember is that these comments are not about you as a person, they’re about your writing. The person who is giving you this feedback is invested in making your writing better. They want you to succeed and they want you to tell the best version of your story possible, and their focus is on helping you do that. 

Nothing that we write is ever going to be perfect, and a first draft is even rougher. There’s no shame at all in needing to improve. If there’s nothing to work on, then there’s nothing to learn. Accepting critique means accepting an opportunity to do better next time, to learn a new technique or concept. Doing something badly means that you’re doing something that’s hard for you, and it’s only by working beyond our capabilities that we can improve. 

It sounds like someone has convinced you that the only way to improve is having a beta, or that the only way to write ‘good’ fanfic is to have a beta. 

But the thing is - if having a beta is not something you enjoy, don’t. 

You don’t owe anyone any particular way of doing things. I think it is very important to keep in mind that fanfic is a hobby - something you should enjoy doing. Don’t do it in a way you don’t enjoy. 

No matter if you have a beta or not, if you get comments or not - just the act of writing does make your writing better. 

I don’t generally use a beta, because I know it would be stressful and un-empowering for me. I write the way I enjoy writing, and I think you need to step back and consider what are the reasons you enjoy writing? What do you get out of it?

Start with reading comprehension questions--and there is no such thing as a too dumb question!  What happened in that scene you just read?  Can you summarize the story or scene back to me?  Then, if there are any tricky points to your story, ask about those:  what did character Y do there?  Did you get what was happening between Y and Z--can you narrate back to me what you read? The next level up is motivation and feelings/interpretations: Why did character Y do that, do you think? How does he feel? How did scene V make you feel about this person place or thing? When did you think X and Y first had sparks?

Do not give your poor betas any answers to these questions, or give hints as to the “right” answers--because they’re not wrong or right. YOU are either coming across or you are not coming across: if the beta isn’t picking up what you are putting down, you have to go back and fix the story so that the words in that particular order create the feeling you want in the reader. If the scene is supposed to make you cry, and the beta thinks its funny, you gotta redo it.  If your brilliant plot point got missed, you were TOO SUBTLE and you have to add pointers and cues. I have been surprised btw that sometimes I have not gotten my straightforward plot points across--literally my reader doesn’t know what the hell happened, let alone why it happened or have feelings about why it happened. If they don’t know that Fred is dead, they sure won’t know who killed Fred or be sad that Fred’s dead or feel John’s pain at Fred’s untimely and tragic death!

Then here’s the thing--once you’ve done all this, then you CAN tell Beta A what you were on about and ask Beta A, like, okay, how could I have better clued you in to the fact that Fred is dead? Why didn’t you think Fred was dead? Work your way with them through Fred’s death to who did it and how you feel and all that.  This beta can now be your collaborator/partner in crime.  But THEN, like, sadly, you really can’t believe them really when they say the story is fixed, because now, like you,  they know what they were supposed to be getting from the story. You can’t know that the words on the page alone are what’s doing the work, and that’s what writing is.  So ideally you need to find someone ELSE, Beta B, and say, again, “Hey, can you read this and can I ask you some questions?”  Then ask Beta B--what happened? why did it happen? Can you tell me how that scene makes you feel? Who’s right in that argument, X or Y?--and when they’re like, *sobbing,* Fred he’s dead, he deserved better, I am keysmashing my way through John’s grief, you bastard--then: post! :D 

Generally, for example, I am not looking for spelling-and-grammar. It's great if someone can catch typos, but I am a good speller and I make stylistic choices that I am absolutely not going to change no matter how a beta feels about it.

On the other hand, I like working with betas who are willing to function as developmental editors; they're not interested in changing my style and they barely ever touch the sentences themselves. Instead they are looking for plot holes, continuity errors, character motivations, the clarity of events, timelining, flow. Often these types of betas also cheer me on and help me untangle occasional thorny rat's-nest sentences that I just can't make work; I've usually called this type of overall beta work "midwifing". (There are a lot of things I write, particularly short things, that really don't need that at all. There's a fair amount of unbeta'd fanfic in my ao3, and for the first few years I wrote, I didn't use a beta at all. And then there's stories that absolutely needed it, that never would have seen the light of day without betas.) This isn't an easy kind of author-beta relationship with the wrong person! I do not recommend this with a new beta; it should be someone with whom you are familiar and who you know you can work with, AND who you know is likely to be good at this. Sometimes you don't have that person, though, and need to find them. (I was once told by a previous beta that she couldn't work on a particular story, but that I should try a rather well-known reccer in the fandom, to whom I had never spoken. That worked out fantastically, but boy was I nervous about it.)

i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.

so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”

And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”

I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”

Well I don't like how it feels. I don't feel cleaner without body hair. I don't prefer not having body hair. But who will advocate for women like me, but me? For women who do like hair removal, they are advocated for every time they step out of the house and see 99% of the female population also conforming to that standard, or when they watch a movie and see all the shaved actresses, or view an advertisment, or open a magazine, or watch a music video, or scroll through social media, or walk down the streets without receiving insults and glares for having a completely normal bodily feature.

The doctor scraped out a bit of earwax to have a better look inside.

I was sent a bill for $200 PER EAR for this 5 second procedure which I did not give permission for them to do.

That was key- they did not ASK me if they could do this "procedure". And, as I OWN a medical practice (it's me. The medical practice is me, sitting in my house on video calls) I knew to call them when this bill came in to be like "You did not obtain informed consent for this procedure, and it was not en emergency procedure. You had full ability to gain my consent and didn't. I'm not paying."

And the massive hospital who owned the bill said "yuh-huh you do have to pay."

And I said "I own a practice. I know these laws. I do not owe you money for this."

And they conducted an "internal review" and SURPRISE! Decided I totally owed them money and they had never done anything wrong ever.

And so I called my state's Attorney General office, and explained the situation because, as I mentioned, I know the law. The AG got in touch within a couple days to say they were taking the case and would send the massive hospital conglomerate a knock it off, guys letter.

Lo and Behold, today I have a letter where said hospital graciously has agreed to forfeit the payment.

"How not to get screwed over by companies" should be part of civics class.

Know your rights and know who to call when they're infringed on. This whole process cost me $0 and honestly less effort than I would have expected.

Civics class wouldn't help most people in this case because the AG will not take on all these cases and most people cannot afford an attorney in this instance or more importantly, the hit to their credit.

Were they going to get into a lawsuit over my $400 bill? No obviously not. But they printed up a letter on fancy letterhead to say to stop and it worked. They followed up with me the next day to be sure, and so ask how much money they had saved me.

They use dinky cases like mine to track habitual misbehavior of large scale companies to build cases they could actually go to court over.

And because people are shocked- I never spoke to the AG of my state directly. He operates mainly by overseeing a whole crew of people. And this is what those people do.

This didn’t happen because I’m special because of my tiny therapy practice.

This happened because this is what the AG office is for.

“The problem is systemic” doesn’t mean “and there’s nothing you can do”.

Then you've been trained well by "The System".

Yes, that System you say can't be fought? Where did you get that idea, huh? Who taught you that "small" acts of illegality don't matter? Who made you think that there's no point in fighting back because it will all come to nothing?

Might it be the same entities that benefit if you believe all that?

Gonna pause and let you ponder.

Never. Ever. EVER.

EVER.

Let companies or corporations or hospitals or organizations or any business big or small get away with screwing you over without a fight. Maybe you personally don't win every fight, but you lose 100% of the time you don't try. You'll win more often than you think you will. I know cuz I've done it.

So have others. Attorneys General offices bring lawsuits against businesses all the time. They do so because citizens contacted them to say "someone is doing a crime" and the crime doers did not stop when told and got into way more trouble than if they'd just stopped. FAFO. The Find Out can't happen if you don't even bother to report the Fucking Around.

On that note, as OP said, please know your rights! And, in a situation where you don't but suspect something is hinky, ask! The people of the internet can help! So can librarians! So can many others. Find out what is and is not okay for them to do. If it's not okay, report them! See something, say something.

Don't let the System win by default.

If you believe The System™️ is only for Them™️ and not you, it will only ever be so.

So I asked @moniquill what special medical words to use and wrote it in the form and sent it away.

I didn't consent, I was not informed, etc.

And I sat back and waited, and lo and behold, suddenly they send me a letter saying oh that dentist I saw for five seconds was in network after all.

ALWAYS APPEAL. Write to your Attorney General. That is your right, that is what the AG is for, as previous have said. The AG serves YOU, the people.

And insurance companies and hospitals are just school bullies trying to intimidate you into giving up your lunch money. But they're paper tigers.

it’s not weird to love it and comment and leave kudos because the author will probably still see it someday and it will make them happy.

it’s not weird to like said author’s work so much that you want to go look for other fics from them.

it’s not weird to go through the authors profile and look for other fics from the ships you like (or maybe some that you’ll give a chance because you liked the author) and maybe bookmark them for later.

it’s not weird to read these other fics and like them too and comment on them because you actually like them and you want to let the author know.

it’s not weird to read fanfiction from 5, or 8, or 10 years ago and actually enjoy and engage with it because it’s perfectly normal to relate to something that’s less than a decade old!

let’s stop treating fanfiction like they’re instagram posts that stop being interesting in 24 hours! fanfiction is NOT social media, fanfiction is art!!! and art doesn’t get old in one day, one year, or even a decade!