boil 🦀❤

the new fantasy genre, popehunk, encompasses all books in which historical figures responsible for real atrocities are presented as sexy and potentially suffering from a cute lil' anxiety disorder

books should have a bloopers section with all the most memorable typos

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

French people when you call it bukake and not "nut a la visage" and shibari instead of "corde attacher l'submissive"

try not to laugh for 10,000 years challenge ends in failure when on the 3,652,424th day a delightful tumbling beetle causes me to chuckle whistfully

if she's your girl then why is she playing my station

if she's your girl then why is she gaming my cube

if she's your x that explains why she's 360ing my box

Wjeres tye saultry little binch...

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"