On such small things the world turns

The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes (1991) - The Boscombe Valley Mystery

Gloucester: I don't want to be your father.

Romeo and Juliet: You’re either a hopeless romantic or you really like YA lit, or both. Or you’re in high school and just haven’t read any other plays yet.

Hamlet: You’re gay, emo, death-obsessed, or some combination of the above. OR you’re one of those really pretentious types who like to talk about Shakespeare’s ‘masterpiece’ but I don’t think there’s a lot of those on Tumblr I hope

Othello: You’re either in high school in your Edgy Phase where you think Iago is cool, or you just like the speeches.

Macbeth: You either want to be Lady Macbeth, are gay for Lady Macbeth, or think the witches are rad, which they are. 

Titus Andronicus: You like slasher movies and also laugh in the face of death, probably.

King Lear: You’ve been around too long and have Seen Some Shit. You like to go for long walks and watch sad movies that you know will make you cry. You feel a lingering sense of despair and are yet ever enchanted by the continuing beauty in a grim and thoughtless world. Or you stan Edmund

Julius Caesar: You took Latin in high school and have very strong opinions about the Republic. You will cry about long-dead Romans at the drop of a hat and you are not ashamed. 

Antony and Cleopatra: You’re gay, love war movies, or you only like it because of ‘I wish you all the joy o’ th’ worm’

Coriolanus: You’re REALLY gay and probably most of what’s up there about Julius Caesar applies to you. You have a lot of Feelings also.

Timon of Athens: You love your friends. SO much. Too much

King John: You’re a medieval history nerd in love with the time period, have a weird relationship with your family, or you just like Lady Constance a whole lot. 

Richard II: You’re gay, on a first name basis with a lot of dead monarchs, or you really enjoy David Tennant. 

Henry IV, part 1: You like buddy comedies and having a good time. You cried when Hotspur died and felt no shame in this fact. You probably also like the entire Second Tetralogy but this one is just the most exciting. 

Henry IV, part 2: You watch movies and read books for the theme rather than for entertainment value.

Henry V: You can recite at least one speech from this play from memory, if not more (and will gladly do so if asked). You might be a medieval history nerd, or maybe you just think the battles are cool. You either love Tom Hiddleston or you hate Tom Hiddleston. 

Henry VI, part 1: You like Joan of Arc. A LOT. You’re very defensive and excitable. You think banter is funnier than well-played jokes.

Henry VI, part 2: You like Game of Thrones. You have mixed feelings about Humphrey of Gloucester.

Henry VI, part 3: You will defend Henry with your LIFE but he’s not your favorite character. Your favorite is either Margaret of Anjou or Richard of Gloucester. Also, you think death is funny. 

Richard III: You’re a self-hating misanthrope, or you’re one of those people who liked Iago in high school but grown up. 

Henry VIII: You like Wolsey, probably. 

A Midsummer Night’s Dream: You think romance is hilarious and no, you’re not romantic. You actually think love is stupid. Alternatively your favorite genres are fantasy and science fiction and you have Thoughts about the line “though she be but little, she is fierce” 

The Comedy of Errors: You’re easygoing. You love a good wholesome comedy without a lot of weird dark stuff. Puns are your favorite thing. You also have a soft spot for family (especially sibling) dynamics. 

Twelfth Night: You’re gay as hell but don’t have enough angst-ridden darkness in your soul to enjoy Hamlet. You have all the love of sibling dynamics mentioned for CoE but MORE SO. And you have Opinions about the plight of Malvolio.

The Taming of the Shrew: You lowkey ship Katerina and Petruchio but don’t know why. You secretly love this play but don’t say much about it because it’s really distasteful to modern audiences. Or you spend a lot of time and energy defending it to modern audiences.

Much Ado About Nothing: You wish it would get more notice in the fandom besides the ‘Kill Claudio’ meme but also have to bite your tongue because the meme is actually pretty funny. 

 As You Like It: You’re gay and you hate the ending of this play. You have rewritten various versions of your own ending. 

The Merry Wives of Windsor: You really, really love John Falstaff. 

The Two Gentlemen of Verona: You like Romeo and Juliet. And Twelfth Night. You like both of them better than this play, you just feel like someone should stan for Two Gentlemen.

Love’s Labors Lost: MAYHEM IS YOUR LIFE. Also you like a touch of depth to your comedy. Jokes are all well and good, but it’s the ending that really brings the point home. 

All’s Well That Ends Well: I don’t actually think anyone likes this play, honestly. 

The Merchant of Venice: You like being Conflicted and want a lot of themes in your comedy, dammit! Intrigue? Attempted murder? Racism? Homosexual undertones? Moneylending? Cross-dressing? Lawyer fraud? Weird fairy-tale-esque betrothal games? You want ALL of it. 

Measure for Measure: You either love the Duke or hate the Duke. You will protect Isabella with your life. You also kind of like being Conflicted but prefer (somewhat) happier endings than the Merchant crowd.

Troilus and Cressida: You love the Iliad. You actually don’t care about the title characters as much as you care about the war. Most people have not even heard of this play and you will explain in full detail. 

Cymbeline: You like fairy tales. Actually you love fairy tales. You’re close to your family, but you have a lot of self-reliance. 

Pericles: You probably like mythology and old drama. Also you would kill a man for Marina and think she deserved better. 

The Tempest: You loved Harry Potter as a kid. You love adventure stories the best, and have a dreamer’s spirit. You have a lot of opinions about the treatment of Ariel and Caliban, and you almost certainly cried when Ariel left for the last time. 

I just love her.

RIP the theatre and one man's trousers.

Oswald: *breathes*