"I'll just choose C for everything"

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

we need to start legally protecting these like make this kind of bathroom part of the national park system

i’m so thirsty… won’t you use /water to water me?

/water

Lowkey I bet it felt good as fuuuuuuck to be one of the coal miners that got to blow a pinkertons brains out from a high ridge with a bolt action rifle.

Those sick fucks at Ocean Spray will mix anything with a cranberry

Didn't realize they made emergency thermal blankets for babies

maybe there never were any twin towers. like did u ever see them?

So I know all you kids are joking around but no, you’re not allowed to make jokes about this. No.

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes