Male loneliness this, male loneliness that. Have they tried lobotomies? Tranquilizers? Being fingered by medical professionals? Tearing the yellow wallpaper off the walls of the attic room where your husband keeps you locked up?

pixel skylines

roma★
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

tannertan36
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
art blog(derogatory)
Keni
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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Kiana Khansmith
Claire Keane
NASA
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
trying on a metaphor
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@coco-little-rose
Male loneliness this, male loneliness that. Have they tried lobotomies? Tranquilizers? Being fingered by medical professionals? Tearing the yellow wallpaper off the walls of the attic room where your husband keeps you locked up?

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i love declining birth rates 🥰 "what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it 😊 teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c
you know, the more i think about it, the angrier i get about how mainstream media and even people in general treated marie kondo when the life changing magic of tidying up got big. it's just so unnecessary and sad to me and i think the vast majority of people would love what she has to say if they just actually looked into it instead of maliciously memeing her to death? i'm not talking about the cutesy does it spark joy stuff but all the things portraying her as some bizarre evil cleaning dictator.
i actually read her book when i was about twelve years old, in the most shocking and probably only example of me ever being ahead of a trend, and even at twelve i really loved everything she said. at that point in time i lived in fear of my mother's threats that she would come and throw everything away while i was school, and my small and very adhd mind simply could not grasp the concept of "have less stuff". have less of WHICH stuff? how? i'd never actually been taught how to clean my room besides being told "pick up stuff" and "be organized", and as she points out multiple times, cleaning is not an intuitive thing. it's a learned behavior and skill.
anyways. her entire philosophy centers on surrounding yourself with things that you love, and only things that you love (or things that you absolutely need). she explicitly says over and over again that it is not about throwing things away, it is not about minimalism, it is not about "what is the smallest amount possible that you can survive on". she literally has a whole section where she talks about how hard it can be to throw things away when you've lived in poverty all your life and you don't have absolute confidence that you can replace something that you really needed if it gets thrown out, even though you're not likely to ever really need it--you've just been conditioned to think that because that's literally how you survive, when you're poor. she talks about how that mindset can serve and how it can damage. she talks about how minimalism is sort of a rich people thing, cause they can afford to throw everything away.
this woman really came out here and said "i want you to be surrounded by things you love and i'm going to validate your fears and your difficulties in getting to that place" and people somehow got mad at her. i don't understand it
The idea of hers that helped me the most was one of the more...shinto-y ones.
That we are the caretakers of the objects we keep and have an obligation to not only care for them, but also to *use them for their purpose.*
If you don't wear that jacket, no matter how cute it is, it is a disservice to let it rot away in your closet. Let it go on to be worn by someone else. It's not that you didn't love it enough- it's that you love it enough to let it serve its purpose, even if it's not with you.
And I think that's very freeing. It helped me, at least, with the guilt of letting go of "still usable" objects that I just wasn't using.
Imagine Mulder finally seeing the Roswell aliens and it's Quark, Rom and Nog..
Yes I am!!!
One hundred percent I am.

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yeah, no. i'm not done having feelings about Keiko and her motherhood.
i don't believe motherhood is something Keiko resents. i believe it is, in many aspects, fulfilling for her. but it is also a labor that monopolizes her time such that pursuing other fulfilling things becomes increasingly complicated.
and of course, her motherhood is indubitably tied to her marriage, which i think is the biggest source of those complications.
Miles' career both ensures he has very little time to spare for his family and that Keiko is uniquely isolated from the realm of work she's crafted her own career for. Molly, by necessity, must go wherever she goes, all while Miles is off getting himself into cosmic blunders and devastating torment nexuses (nexi?). to be fair, none of Miles' work is really any place for a child, but it doesn't change the fact that it leaves Keiko with the brunt of what should be a labor of partnership.
whether or not they ever discussed this as a feature of their marriage is kind of... null? their parenthood, as it pertains to their partnership, never really gets brought up. we see Keiko upset about the move - as she has every right to be. it's an action that uproots their entire family and puts them in considerably more unpredictable danger than living on the Enterprise did. and we see her concerned for Molly's safety aboard the station, but we see no conversation about how she and Miles will share parental responsibilities. as if there is an unspoken understanding between them we aren't privy to. and we have to assume they came to a mutual understanding about it because the distribution of parental responsibilities never seems to be a real point of contention in their relationship.
we do see Keiko express frustration over the way DS9 limits her access to opportunities for botanical research and, to Miles' credit, he does try to help her find avenues to continue her career. yet, finding botanical research to contribute to down on Bajor means further separation between them. which also leave Keiko the one solely responsible for Molly's well-being while she is pursuing. something that, interestingly, she doesn't seem to have many concrete thoughts about other than exhaustion upon returning to the station. which, fair. i'd be exhausted, too. but the source of that exhaustion isn't explored in any particular detail.
i guess what i'm saying is it feels like the show takes Keiko's motherhood for granted. of course, she'll take care of Molly while Miles works. of course, she'll abandon everything she's ever known and everything she's been working towards for her husband's reassignment to DS9. of course, she'll be there to pick up the broken pieces of her husband every time he comes home from some inexplicable horror.
what is it she's doing on Bajor? oh, just plant stuff? well, then it shouldn't be hard for her to take care of a whole ass child on her own while out in the field.
moreover, i think these assumptions bleed into the whole teaching subplot in season 1. the question of her qualifications are left rather nebulous (seriously, who decided a career botanist had the credentials to teach???) and her desire to even start a school comes from observing behavior in the station's children that she finds disconcerting. it is definitely something to devote her sudden excess of free time to, but her motivations seem to come more from a place of wanting to keep children out of trouble than an actual desire to teach. which, quite frankly, is the wrong reason to get into teaching.
despite all that, she seems to do well in the position and leaves a lasting positive impact on the station's children, namely Jake and Nog. but again, i'm tempted to question why her ease with teaching seems to be taken as a natural extension of her motherhood rather than something she's truly passionate about. her general apathy when the school eventually closes down seals the deal for me: teaching was not as fulfilling for her as botany is and was never going to be.
i think the show's propensity for painting Keiko's motherhood in this light comes from the patriarchal picture of motherhood as some inherent drive to give care and to nurture in all those with the capacity to give birth.
firstly, this picture assumes that motherhood is a universal experience, that caring for and nurturing young looks the same for everyone and everything (watch Isabella Rossellini's series of shorts, Mammas, for a very concise and helpful demonstration of why this is patently false).
secondly, it assumes that motherhood is written into the biology of those with the capacity for pregnancy. that it comes naturally, so why should it be resisted? why should it be hard?
and thirdly, it presumes that motherhood is always a rewarding function and experience, something that is natural and desirable and necessary and therefore inherently virtuous.
while we get entire B-plots devoted to Miles' struggles as a frequently absent father, we don't hear about any of Keiko's particular struggles with parenthood because the show treats her motherhood as a piece of background information.
her relationship with Molly as her mother and as the most present and available parent is given very little dimension because the show writes it as this static, unquestionable thing. it is only given dimension in opposition to the challenges Miles faces as a father. Keiko knows the particularities of Molly's routine, playtime and food preferences because she spends the most time with her, but the show never considers the possibility that that comes just as much out of necessity as it does out of genuine love for her daughter.
never considers the possibility that Keiko might have objections to shouldering all parental responsibilities while also conducting botanical research.
never considers the possibility that she might have struggled to teach beyond some creationist analogy spat between her and Kai Winn.
never considers that she might fantasize about leaving the station to continue her studies somewhere else for a while.
never considers how having her baby transferred to another's womb in the midst of a medical emergency might make her feel, how it might impact all the preparation her body and mind had been doing to deliver a baby that is not longer there.
never considers that being possessed by a pah-wraith might impact her relationship to motherhood, having been unable to do anything but watch as this being ruthlessly held her and her entire family hostage for their own interest. i mean, does she ever have nightmares about hurting Molly and not being able to stop herself? does she have nightmares where Miles wasn't able to save her?
never considers that motherhood for Keiko might be imperfect. does it ever feel oppressive? does she hate it sometimes? does she wish things were different?
we'll never know. we'll just never fucking know.
They semi-cancelled Timothee Chalamet for simply saying he found opera and ballet boring, by the way.
How does Hollywood work these days?
Being a bit of a naive, foolish young man and (wrongfully) calling opera and ballet irrelevant?
“You must apologise immediately! No Oscar for you.”
Acknowledging you stole terrified teenage girls from their bedrooms?
“Eh, you get a pass.”
Kidnapping teenage girls seems kind of worse than being stupid and uncultured, in the grand scheme of things.
”Well, Tim is dating a Kardashian sister.”
Embarrassing as it is, this other man admitted to war crimes.
They semi-cancelled Timothee Chalamet for simply saying he found opera and ballet boring, by the way.
How does Hollywood work these days?
Being a bit of a naive, foolish young man and (wrongfully) calling opera and ballet irrelevant?
“You must apologise immediately! No Oscar for you.”
Acknowledging you stole terrified teenage girls from their bedrooms?
“Eh, you get a pass.”
Kidnapping teenage girls seems kind of worse than being stupid and uncultured, in the grand scheme of things.
”Well, Tim is dating a Kardashian sister.”
Embarrassing as it is, this other man admitted to war crimes.
Since Canada is currently trying to sell itself as an "ethical alternative" to Iran's oil, I would just like to remind folks / share some quick information:
More than 50% of Indigenous communities in reserve areas in Canada are at high risk of pipeline spills. When there is a spill, reserves are disproportionately impacted.
The National Energy Board and Supreme Court of Canada has a history of declaring the "public interest and economic interests outweigh Indigenous and treaty rights." Basically, Indigenous peoples don't count enough as "public" to matter.
Pipelines are built without proper consent from the Indigenous Nations they choose to occupy. Keep in mind I say choose, because this is the case even when alternative pipeline routes are suggested that could avoid reserve land. This is a direct, constant, and often violent threat to Indigenous sovereignty.
The MMIW crisis is funded by the oil industry through the creation of worker's "man camps" near reserve land. These "man camps" are nothing but pits of sexual violence and human trafficking of Indigenous women and girls. I am not exaggerating; this is well studied and well documented.
Resources & Sources:
To become an ‘energy superpower’, Canada wants to bulldoze Indigenous rights (START HERE!)
Indigenous Resistance to Alberta Oil and Gas Development Report
When the environment is destroyed, you're destroyed: Achieving Indigenous led pipeline justice
First Nations Consent Ignored as Canadians Asked to Subsidize LNG Expansion
Oil pipelines and food sovereignty: threat to health equity for Indigenous communities
Is Violence against Indigenous Women in “Canada’s interest”? Liquified Natural Gas in B.C., Sexual Violence & Narratives of Terra Nullius
The colonial playbook never ended, Canada’s pipeline deal proves it
Stand together: Alberta's First Nations and non-Indigenous unite against Big Oil
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine I 4.23 To The Death

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A large part of the reason families were bigger in the past was because marital rape was not considered rape and birth control/abortion methods were ineffective, dangerous and/or illegal. We can dance around this and act like our great great great grandmothers just loveddddd being mamas so much that they decided out of their own free will to have 11 children. We can pretend that they DECIDED to have big families because it was a financially advantageous decision so they could have more labor around the farm. But a lot of children in the past were fundamentally unwanted and not conceived out of love, children were not a choice women got to make. We need to admit that and stop pretending historical women were inherently more maternal because they were impregnated at the age of 15 and kept having babies until they were 40. That did not make them loving mothers, it did not make them ‘the divine feminine’ and it sure did not make them happy.
It is important to think about this truth, because it is so painful that the initial reaction is to deny it or simply not think about it...
Leeta does not get enough credit as the co-founder of the bar employees Union! Give her the flowers she deserves!!!
yeah that’s exactly what happened
the next bit is even better:
“After thirty years of intensive research, we can now answer many of the questions posed earlier. The recycle rate of a human being is around sixteen hours. After sixteen hours of being awake, the brain begins to fail. Humans need more than seven hours of sleep each night to maintain cognitive performance. After ten days of just seven hours of sleep, the brain is as dysfunctional as it would be after going without sleep for twenty-four hours. Three full nights of recovery sleep (i.e., more nights than a weekend) are insufficient to restore performance back to normal levels after a week of short sleeping. Finally, the human mind cannot accurately sense how sleep-deprived it is when sleep-deprived.”
— Matthew Walker PhD, Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams (via themedicalstate)
Jesus christ
Sleep is a super power
That last bit makes a whole lot of sense and it honestly astounds me, that I never once considered it.
But yeah that seems very obvious.
Finally, the human mind cannot accurately sense how sleep-deprived it is when sleep-deprived.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Alan Gutierrez's cover art for Worlds of If: A Retrospective Anthology, 1986.
More of my art @alwaystiredshark
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