âď¸ customer reviewsâď¸ âin need of therapyâ âwho the actual fuck are youâ âi feel bad for people who know youâ âstop armchair diagnosing animalsâ âeverything thatâs wrong with tumblrâ âjust a no-name bloggerâ âstfuâ (multiple occasions) and my favorite, âcoward.â
i do not post, answer, or reblog donation requests unless they are for established charities or close friends. verified lists of individuals are not established charities. donation request asks and messages are deleted and accounts are blocked. because of my very clear message here, all asks and messages requesting donations or submitted/linked posts about donations are reported as spam. real people do not read this kind of message and send asks anyways.
if you think all trans masc people are transmisogynistic, this is not the blog for you. bye.
im sterling! he/him/his or they/them/theirs pronouns, you can use one set or the other, or switch in between, whatever floats your duck. note: the fact i use âmasculineâ pronouns does not mean im a man. im non-binary, and only ever call myself trans masc bc im just not a girl. thank you for coming to my ted talk
yeah i did name myself after sterling archer. and all the customer reviews are things people have actually considered appropriate to say to a stranger on the internet.
screenshotting out of context posts is a massive loser move. commit to the bit and find another way to embarrass me.
if you send me an ask and the answer can be found here im replying with a star trek meme:
im 24 and donât tag nsfw. i donât post it often but youâve been warned
original posts are #sterling speaks asks are #answered + #anon when applicable
i add onto posts a lot, either to fact check or just say shit. itâs usually not directed at op or the above commenter i just like talking
trigger tags are âtw blankâ (ex: tw antisemitism)
you can ask for trigger tags if you hang around my blog a lot
unless youâre gonna ask for queer to be tagged a slur bc im not doing that lol
i have a side blog for some anime/genshin impact stuff to keep this one from being insufferable. you can dm for the url and genshin uid if you really want
im a type one diabetic with complications from ketoacidosis (me/cfs and pots), and hEDS. occasional wheelchair user with a service dog in training named scout. adhd, bpd, and all sorts of other shit.
my qualifications when it comes to disability diagnosis are i have some and have read things on the internet. if you ask me âdo i have xâ i can give you some suggestions based on my personal experiences, but iâm not a doctor. grain of salt
i dont mind answering questions about disability/accessibility/mobility aids as long as questions are respectful
if i get into a fight with someone pls donât harass them on my behalf
feel free to send me fact checks for posts, iâll reblog with valid updates
DNF/and yes i actually check this:
im not joking about blocking bigoted people on sight. if you follow you wonât be following for long.
other: us military veterans unless you can be chill about it , transmeds, terfs, gun enthusiasts/no gun regulation supporters, anti-aquariums/animal reserves/zoos, anti self diagnosis*, anti-mental illness recovery*, eating disorder blogs/pro-eating disorders, vegans who donât know that meat consumption isnât the root of all evil, fanblogs for: hazbin hotel, attack on titan, 13 reasons why, south park/other ~adult animation like it~. hamilton is on thin ice.
about self-dx: thereâs nothing wrong with identifying your own symptoms and determining possible reasons for those symptoms. however, you cannot say you have a diagnosis when you do not meet the diagnostic criteria. idc if you think you have some weird unique form of a condition-if you do not meet the criteria and have not been diagnosed after extensive work with a medical professional, do not represent yourself as an example of that condition. ex: you say you have a potentially disabling mental condition like bpd, but then have few or none of the nine diagnostic criteria.
about mental illness recovery: it is completely up to an individual to decide what this means for them. however, i do believe itâs in someoneâs best interest to at least find some kind of management plan that works for them, even if that doesnât include classical psychiatry. conditions like bpd and bipolar can be life ruining if you donât actively try and work with it, i understand this isnât possible for everyone but start with a dbt worksheet or smth. take care <3
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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If you rely on a hidden phone for your safety, be aware that Australiaâs new emergency warning system, AusAlert, can send alerts that override silent and âDo Not Disturbâ settings.
If safe to do so, turn off any hidden device before the scheduled test and only switch it back on after the test period has ended.
A national test alert will be sent at 2pm (AEST) on 27 July 2026.
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The 1970's a strange decade full of strange things but it was the decade when Video Games we're created and became an entirely new hobby, for better or for worse. So it's only fair to make a gaming list of the 70's, maybe you've played them at the time or only recently. Feel free to share what games you've played.
A compiled list of Video Games released in the 1970's, some of these are famous and some are obscure. Your choices will decide on what...
when i like a ship and i see ppl hating on it im like omggggg thatâs so embarrassing. literally who cares if ppl like this ship that you arenât into lol grow up⌠but when i dislike a ship i literally think youâre a fucking moron with no taste if you ship it. this is something im aware of about myself. im not working on it.
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i love declining birth rates 𼰠"what a horrible problem! society will collapse!" oopsie it looks like you're gonna have to make having children worth it đ teehee you're gonna have to improve society in order to fix this problem, or it will all collapse. oh noooooo. how horrible. :3c
i literally love saying "ON IT BOSS!!!!!" whenever someone asks me to do something like i'm some sort of henchman. it doesn't matter if they're my boss or not for real even because in the moment they are, and whatever they requested of me i'm on it
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I'm eternally grateful that polyamorists have created or popularized a lot of terms to describe common experiences such as feeling joy at seeing your partner happy in another relationship (compersion), societal pressure to follow a specific progression or series of milestones for a relationship to be considered Serious (the relationship escalator), and a partner of your partner (metamour).
But I think that, much like Therapy Speak and its cutesy friends neurospicy and neurosparkly, words that might be useful for describing your own life can become clichĂŠ annoying jargon when someone else starts applying them to your experiences for you.
anyway. this post brought to you by the acquaintance who asked if I was "fluid bonded to both my nesting partners." next time just ask who I'm fucking.
I agree and it especially rubs me the wrong way when it's used like a euphemism for "having sex." Just say sex. If you mean unprotected sex specifically then say unprotected sex.
I could be wrong, but I suspect "fluid bonded" SPECIFICALLY came out of gay male culture in the wake of the AIDS epidemic. But given the awkward steps queer vocabulary has been making lately, I would not be surprised if the polyam crowd picked it up as a cute way to say "fucking" and not, like, "we have made specific informed decisions about our shared sexual health."
It's definitely existed as a term for a while now, so I wouldn't be surprised, but weird stuff happens when one community's slang escapes containment and loses its context.
It absolutely came out of AIDS-era safe sex culture and it does have a specific meaning beyond simply "fucking". fucking doesn't mean fluid bonded: you can be fucking through barrier methods, for example. you can also be fluid bonded with someone you aren't fucking, for example by sharing sex toys. It's an infectious disease harm reduction term intended to clarify levels of risk sharing between people, rather like "quarantine bubble" was.
Genuinely, fluid bonded is just a quarantine bubble for your genitalia. Totally cromulent term that has its own specific meaning, and anyone using it just to mean "fucking" is betraying that they don't know what they're talking about with this terminology.
I (too young to remember the AIDS crisis firsthand) did absolutely know and use the proper meaning of fluid-bonded and it's very annoying to me if people are widening it to just mean 'fucking'.
They mean different things! It's a useful term when you use it to mean what it actually means!
e.g. below the cut.
"How many people are you fluid-bonded with" - if you say a number higher than zero, then regardless of the negative STD results we've just swapped, I'm grabbing a condom. Because I don't know your other partners, and they don't know me, and I do know how long some stuff takes to show up on a test, and there is plenty we can do without widening that bubble to include me.
Based on the stated verbiage of the question asked, I suspect it's the OP who doesn't understand the language. I come to all of the words being used entirely through polyamory and I assure you it means the same thing there. The question being asked as I (someone with no subculture context for these words outside polyamory) would translate it is "are you sharing unprotected sex-based bodily fluids with both of the people you're living with?"
Which is a very rude question to ask an acquaintance no matter how you're wording it, and to my mind actually significantly more invasive than straight-up "are you fucking?"
I think people are missing my point by getting hung up on the term "fluid bonding." I don't actually have beef with this term or its purpose. I am, however, weirded out by the heavy use of cliqueish jargon in discussions surrounding polyamory, because I think it creates confusion and alienates people in favor of some weird in-group shibboleth.
...I think you have a way overbroad definition of "cliqueish jargon" if you're putting "fluid bonding" and "nesting partner" in the same category as something like Therapy Speak or "neurospicy."
Alright, I'm awake and sober now, and the thoughts I have on this are: there are plenty of contexts in which highly specific language is really useful, even necessary.
Casual conversations with people you barely know are a strange place for it, whether it's asking them if they're fluid bonded to someone or telling them that they violated your boundaries with your phone use by calling you after work hours.
There is a tendency to overuse specialized language to signal that you're in a particular community or just to appear smart. Often times it happens because someone spends a lot of time in an environment where those terms are very common (like therapy, or at work, or listening to a podcast). It's not Bad. It's just usually off-putting to people who aren't familiar with those terms.
OP I think if your post had said: "I get annoyed when people use jargon out of context and I don't understand why," I'd understand and agree.
From my experience in poly spaces, queer kink spaces, and in jargon-heavy technical and academic work places, I think jargon is better described as convenient shorthand, for those familiar with it. It can be specific when used in explicitly specific contexts, but it's usually less so, especially as terms spread outside the original group using it, which will happen because that's language (hello AAVE to "hip slang" pipeline). I understand being annoyed when people use terms outside of the context where they hold specific meaning, without intention or forethought. But your post and the discussion above didn't say that, and what you did say reads like you and others are making some big assumptions about why people use the words they do.
I often interact with people who would be frustrated by my use of trans and cis -- terms which I don't think are jargon but which a lot of people around me who aren't queer or informed about LGBTQ topics do. I try to use shorthand terms sparingly and will usually ask folks if they're familiar with a term I think is jargony and will use more specific, usually lengthier language if they're not. The same as I would for any word or language someone might not know. When I do use jargon, you wouldn't know for sure if I'm using it because I'm steeped in that culture and unaware of its specificity to that context, or for reasons you'd approve of. I don't personally care if you're aware of the reasons I'd use jargon or approve of them yourself. If I use jargon, intentionally or not, and someone judges me as annoying because they think I'm signaling belonging to a group or trying to appear smart instead of asking me for clarification or expressing curiosity as to why I used that term, then I'm glad it's off-putting, because that's not the type of aquaintance I'd want to develop a further relationship with.
That said, on signaling being in a group, specifically in poly, kink, or queer contexts: If someone says they're poly, kinky, or queer and doesn't know terms people in those spaces use or is annoyed by them and judges rather than seeking common understanding, it's an indicator that they might be new to the scene and its concepts, or that they maybe haven't interacted with community spaces at all, or they have made a judgement of a word used by a group of people or the group itself. Not inherently bad things, but I'd want to know more before putting myself out there and spending my energy getting to know them. Additionally, these are groups for which not being in the group can signal you are a threat to life or livelihood. Jargon can be a good first-pass litmus test as to how a person will treat me and communicate with me, especially if it prompts curiousity vs annoyance. Is someone trying to join me, or are they judging me by the language I use?
Jargon can be used in inappropriate contexts and can be annoyingly vague or obtuse but it has a place in language and your post and the exchanges above read like you just got squicked out by your interpretation of "fluid-bonded," or rightfully annoyed by an acquaintance asking you an invasive and unclear question, OP. Or if I'm not being generous, you got annoyed that you came across a word you were unfamiliar with and that annoyance reaffirmed your opinion of the people that use it. I see it everywhere -- "poly people are obnoxious/doing too much/expect us *normal* people to use *their* annoying words." People get annoyed when others don't code switch and make snap judgements based on that feeling, and I wish they'd get curious instead.
Do you get annoyed when people speaking your language slip in words from other languages, too? Either for flavor or because they don't know another quick way to say it, e.g. "I went to the bibliotecha to get my books." If not, please consider thinking about why that's different for you. Why do some words get limited to specific contexts, and why do some get adopted into broader vernacular? What reasons might poly people, disabled people, queer people, neurodivergent people have for wanting to widen the understanding of a jargony term to people beyond the specific subculture that coined it? (And likewise, what reasons might people have for wanting to limit usage to within a subculture or community, like with AAVE). Not just to annoy you or appear smart or special.
words that might be useful for describing your own life can become clichĂŠ annoying jargon when someone else starts applying them to your experiences for you.
So I'm not sure how we got to this point in the discussion. I'm polyamorous and I do find these terms useful. And this was still a weird way for someone else to use them when talking to me.