Clockwork & Cupcakes

Somebody knocked on my door this morning and asked if they could "Speak to the man of the house" and apparently "Why? You need some dick?" Wasn't the appropriate response. Anyways, they were Jehovah's Witnesses.

just saw someone say 'well trans woman are infertile so they wouldnt need condoms' and that is so many layers of incorrect i had to sit down lol 💀

being into some bullshit that nobody cares about and also is stupid really changes you

got 30 ish free tangerines and they're not easy peel clementines but my lust for them is undimin is dhed. my hands are covered in juice. as is my phone. and my self. and my table. but such is the price of free tsngerone. i stopped tyoing this posy 4 time to eat anothrt tangerine

I need a dilf who wags his fluffy tail when he's happy

ok so I looked it up, and it turns out they made a track out of PVC pipes, down a hill. The owner didn't realise PVC expanded in the heat, so on a turn the track just fell apart and the dude inside went over a fucking free way and into a swamp.

The funniest part is that the inspector was watching the whole time, and once the ball stopped he left without saying anything. Park management just shut it down then and there.

doing the "we are the daughters of the witches you couldn't burn" thing in a catholic country making it somewhat unclear what I'm getting at

this is an excellent question but your phone may have a concussion

is anybody gonna pet the gentle freak…….the gentle freak is gonna grow sad and anxious if nobody pets it……is nobody gonna pet the freak……nobody?…..nobody pet the gentle freak?…..

I like when cats are like busy doing something and not really in the mood to be pet so they like walk past you at exactly the right distance to be just barely out of reach and if you lean forward they very slightly increase their pace to avoid getting caught in the affection zone. Like oh sorry sir I didn’t realize you were in the middle of important business. We can reschedule this for another time

But a reblog break indicates that time has passed.