Clockwork & Cupcakes

Use your PTO

oh well i guess ill just be fat and hot

do not, my friends, become addicted to touching. it will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence.

it will take hold of me?🥺👉👈

U want something and then when u get it it’s like omg………… I’m scared

sometimes when I get mad online I have remind myself that the coolest and most reasonable friend I have doesn’t know who dril is and asked me to explain what the acronym “MCU” stands for, because she spends most of her free time watching documentaries about industrial disasters with her girlfriend and going to quarries to collect rocks together. a better world is possible and it’s out there right now

omg the new emoji 🫪🫪🫪🫪

🫪🫪🫪

it's meee I'm your guardian angel hiiiiii 😇 okay🙏 so. in about six months, you're gonna die of starvation. 🥺 and if I don't protect you, I will get: #fired! 🫢 and that is No Good 🙅‍♀️ hahaaa So. 🙏 I looked into causes of starvation, and it turns out: Your death is totally preventable! 😯 Uh oh! 😆 There's more than enough food to sustain you without interfering with anyone else's survival, but you're not allowed to have it! 🤨 Whaaat? 🤷‍♀️ Apparently, your death is premeditated by thousands of things called "shareholders." So. 🙏 I've been killing people,

bouncing on it in repentance

When I was a child, my mother was bitten on the ass by a venomous spider one summer. It ruined the summer. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen what a spider bite looks like during healing but the venom causes the wound to putrefy, it’s this grey-green circular void of a wound that grows, ringed by inflamed purple-red flesh. And it was on her right butt cheek and it was a hot and humid summer in the southeast- Actually, I’m not going to finish this post. Thank you for reading. Just had to get that off my chest. I’ve broken free of my chains and overshared enough. The curse has been lifted. I’m okay now.

I log on to this blog, black out and start typing out horrific memories like I’m being compelled by The Ceaseless Watcher from the Magnus Archives. Statement of Algernon Byjove regarding a spider bite his mother received.

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis