Clam ClamOfBeans 🩷

So what does it mean for a plant to change behavior in response to a threat? What’s going on with that ethylene gas? What’s the threat?

Well, acacia trees (not Arcadia) are infamously dry, prickly, nasty little trees that aren’t worth eating to most species. They have one big predator: the mighty giraffe.

Pictured: an acacia’s worst nightmare. Oh, it might look louche and unassuming, but giraffes eat fucktons of acacia by preference! And they particularly enjoy snacking on the flowers–the plant’s reproductive organs! What’s worse, acacias traditionally protect themselves in Africa by getting too tall for herbivores to reach and leaves growing enormous thorns all over themselves at lower levels. Giraffes, those bastards, circumvent all those lovely spiky thorns through being tall enough to just casually lean over them and snacking away. The WORST. Even if the acacia puts thorns all over itself, not just at the top, giraffes will cheerfully snake through the thorns using their long, prehensile tongues.

So what can an acacia do to combat the giraffe menace?

Different species try different tactics. Several species, especially bullthorn acacias, carefully feed and host aggressive colonies of ants to attack giraffes and other predators to drive them away. The ant colonies also often helpfully attack all of the competing plants within a radius of the tree, freeing up resources for the host tree.

But more commonly, acacias respond to getting bits eaten off itself by pumping their tissues (especially the tender leaves and shoots) full of tannins. That’s the nasty thing that makes red wine, black tea, and coffee taste so bitter to many humans… and taste interesting and astringent to others. At high enough concentrations, tannins are lethal. Acacias are good enough at producing tannins that they’re sometimes farmed for the purpose. But tannins aren’t cheap, and if there aren’t any herbivores around, maybe it’s better for the tree to put more energy into making new growth. It’s best not to waste them, after all. So plants keep them in reserve and only start really shoving them into the foliage when those bastard giraffes (or other herbivores) start damaging the plant’s growth. That damage triggers ethylene emission, which is an important stress hormone in plants. The ethylene coursing through the plant triggers release of the tannins with which the plant hopes to drive off or kill those bastard giraffes.

Well, wouldn’t it be great to know when that bastard giraffe might be coming before it eats all your nice delicate shoots and precious flowers? That way, you could get a head start on producing your tannins and minimize the damage that the fucking giraffe can do before you either drive it off or kill it. So acacias–and other plants–have ethylene receptors not just for their own hormonal signaling, but also so that they can smell the ethylene produced by other trees getting currently eaten by hungry giraffes. Remember, those leggy fuckers move, so you’d best prepare for them before they can get to you. Plants being able to communicate with one another about changes in environments before any given plant actually has to fight the giraffe allows them to adjust to change on the fly even without being able to change location or position in response to circumstances. Because the ethylene is carried on the wind, then, giraffes will actually move farther distances to graze on acacia trees, especially trees that are upwind–and therefore haven’t had a chance to prepare for the coming of the giraffe before it starts tonguing away.

And acacia trees aren’t the only ones to do something like this!!

Nearly every plant species has some type of defense against herbivory. A lot of these are induced defenses, which the plant will activate when being attacked, such as in the case of acacia trees increasing tannin production in leaves.

There are all sorts of defenses like this, and many plants release chemicals to communicate with other plants around them!

[Image Description:

1: A screenshot of a twitter post by izzitmichaela with text “I spent some time doing research on ADHD coping techniques and did you know that Arcadia trees can warn other trees of danger by emitting a cloud of ethylene gas”

2: a screenshot of a tumblr tag with text “this post fucks me up tf is a tree supposed to do about oncoming danger? Move?

3: Picture of a girraffe viewed from the side. It stands in dead grass, and there are trees in the background, stretching out into the distance.

Yeah, they think maybe we like the scent of cut grass because it meant there was uncooked barbecue nearby in the form of grazing ruminants. (After all, we can’t eat grass.)

Well

It happened

LITTLE JOSH WON!!!!

My therapist only recently understood that when I said, “I don’t know how to make this phone call or make this appointment.” I very literally meant I didn’t know what to do. I can dial the phone, but what do I say EXACTLY? What questions are going to be asked? What do I need to have on hand? What if they ask me something I don’t know the answer to?

FOR THE FIRST TIME

From an adult who has been doing this for about a decade now: 

Remember that about 10% of any office’s weekly call volume is from people just like you who have never done this in their life. 

The mass majority of people who run dentist offices, insurance claim call centers, whatever - remember what it’s like to be completely new, and are generally happy to explain the steps and re-phrase themselves if you let them know what you’re having trouble with, and are kind and patient with them. 

You’re not inconveniencing them. You’re not burdening them. Call center folks are 1000x happier to speak with someone who is earnestly trying and needs some basic help on super simple things, instead of a pissy long-time customer who demands free shit. 

You are a bright spot in their day. A chance to actually help. 

So! Here’s the steps: 

even if you get along great with your family you will get along even better with them after moving out 

generic is almost always just as good as name brand. But there are some things you never buy generic, including: peanut butter, ketchup, liquid NyQuil, Chips-Ahoy chewy chocolate chip cookies

just imagine the person on the other end of the phone hates talking on the phone as much as you do. Even a receptionist. I worked as one and I hate talking on the phone

at least once in your life you will go to Wal-mart to buy something under $20 like an ironing board or something and your debit card will get rejected. No one will judge. Everyone at some point in their lives has had $2.98 in their bank account. 

thrift stores

everyone else is too busy panicking about everyone else noticing every tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about them to notice any tiny thing that could possibly be wrong about you

you will screw up. a lot. you live and you learn. and when you start to think too hard about that embarrassing thing that happened and how you wish you could change it, just tell yourself that what’s done is done. There’s no changing it, so just forget it and move on. It’s the only way to stay sane.

do the dishes before the sink grows its own ecosystem

you can’t put Dawn dishsoap in the dishwasher. 

if you are the only one in the aisle at the grocery store, and you need to get from one end to the other without even looking at anything in that aisle, then you should totally cart-surf down the aisle. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Hold on to the little things. They make all the difference.

never try to make cake from scratch at 3am. You end up with a topographical map of Middle Earth.

15% tip. 

the best way to get money for food is to tell your grandparents about how you basically live on microwaved mac and cheese. Their horror may result in twenty bucks and orders to go out and get yourself “a real dinner”.

sometimes life sucks, and knowing that it might get better doesn’t always make it suck any less, but you’ll never get to the non-sucky days without enduring the suckiness. 

no seriously, NEVER put Dawn in your dishwasher

Always check the type of light bulb that goes in lamps. A 60w is not interchangeable with a 40w.

Rice, pasta, flour, sugar, cheese, eggs, milk, a pack of chicken, a pack of frozen veggies and a well stocked spice cabinet go a long way food-wise. Splurge and get the biggest container of rice you can. You don’t have to go back and buy it again anytime soon and it makes a TON of meals in the meantime.

Rice can be cooked on the stove. You don’t need a fancy rice cooker. Two parts water to every one part rice (two cups water for one cup of rice for example). Get your water boiling, add rice, put a plate or lid on it, put it on low for 20 minutes. It should be done.

Keep a calendar on your pc of bill due dates. If your bills are set up at inconvenient times, like all of the services started on the first or something, then call up the company and find out if you can get your billing date switched to something more manageable. A lot of places do try to work with you.

There is no shame in calling a company and asking for an extension on a bill. Let them know what you can pay, pay that amount, and they arrange when the rest of the payment is required. This can stop you from having services shut off man. It shows responsibility on your part.

Take time to eat, even when you don’t feel like eating. Your body needs energy to live.

Wash or rinse your dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. It prevents gross caked on junk.

“The Works” is an excellent cheap toilet cleaner.

MAGIC. FUCKING. ERASERS. THEY WORK ON EVERYTHING JUST DON’T SCRUB HARD. I took the ring out of our bathtub with one. Also generic ones work just as well.

Keep some bleach around but if you use it for cleaning? Dillute it. There’s rarely ever a case where you need to pout straight bleach on anything. A cap full or two in a bucket of water works just fine.

DO NOT MIX CLEANERS. Chemical reactions are can be very dangerous. Here’s a good list. (Note that vinegar and baking soda can actually be a good combo for removing smells from things but it’s not very good at actually -cleaning-.)

If you drink? Don’t take meds at the same time it’s just not good.

Make sure you check the dosages on your pill bottles. No one wants to accidentally overdose on cough syrup or ibuprofen.

If you have a uterus make sure you have a heating pad and ibuprofen on hand for the pain. Hot baths also generally help and Ginger Tea is excellent for any nausea.

Buy a first aid kit. It’s worth it in the long run.

You can often do your taxes online at places like TurboTax.

Here’s some good sex ed resources because I had to explain what a yeast infection was recently. 

Petroleum jelly (aka Vaseline) is good for chapped lips and you can get a decent sized tube or tub of it (generic brand version) for cheaper/same price as Chapstick.

KEEP TRIPLE ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT IN YOUR HOUSE FOR CUTS AND SCRAPES AND SORES. 

~~Medications~~

Over the counter medications (stuff you can buy right off the shelf no prescription needed) have a name brand and a generic name. ALWAYS buy generic if it’s available it is literally the same thing and way cheaper usually.

Some names to remember when you’re looking for meds!

Acetaminophen = Tylenol

Used to treat pain and reduce fever. Do not take with Ibuprofen.

Ibuprofen = Advil, Midol, Motrin

Used for pain and fever, is an anti-inflammtory. Is good for period cramps because it is an NSAID (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug).

Naproxen = Aleve, Naprosyn

Treats fever, pain, arthritis pain, gout, period cramps, tendinitis, headache, backache, and toothache. Is also an NSAID.

Acetaminophen + Asprin + Caffeine = Excedrin

Usually marketed as “Migraine Relief” as a generic.

Asprin = Bayer

Use for pain, fever, arthritis, and inflammation. Makes you bleed easily so should not be used for periods. Might reduce risk of heart attacks.\

Triple Antibiotic Ointment = Neosporin

Used on cuts, sores, and scrapes to reduce risk of infection and promote healing.

if you live off ramen, add stuff to it! add veggies you like, don’t use the whole flavor packet to cut down on sodium and msg or don’t use it at all and add your own spices.

if you’re making something with potatoes in it (beans, stew) potatoes are done when you can easily stab a fork through them.

you can microwave a hotdog as long as you put it in a microwave safe container of water. microwaves work by making water molecules vibrate. also, when reheating rice leftovers, add a small amount of water, like maybe a spoonfull, so it doesn’t get hard and crunchy.

the rice cooking advice above is for long grain rice. if you’re making short or medium grain rice, a 1:1 ratio (one cup water for one cup rice) is better, so the rice doesn’t come out too mushy.

buy a few cans of chicken. wholesale club stores like sam’s, costco, or bj’s tend to carry multipacks for a good price. they’re incredibly useful for when you forget to defrost meat.

buy meat on sale and put it in the freezer. buy vegetables on sale, and put them in the freezer. frozen veggies are often as flavorful and good as fresh ones, keep longer, and often come in microwaveable bags or with microwave directions.

soak ink stains in milk to help get them out or at least lighten them.

soak blood stains in water as soon as possible, with a bit of detergent or stain remover. scrub at them. use cold water, heat binds proteins to fabric. tbh, there’s no real need to change the washer from cold-cold setting unless the thing you’re washing says to wash in warm water.

-coolant or water if your car overheats (coolant is preferable cause it won’t hurt the engine in the long run but hey i know money is tight) 

-flashlight in case you break down at night and need to check under the hood and your phone is dead

-SPARE TIRE. 

-jumper cables.you will at some point leave your lights on. you just will. 

Don’t be afraid to go to your local food bank. They are there for a reason.

1. Buy a roll of parchment paper from the cooking shit aisle. A big roll will last you for-fucking-ever. Pretty much any time you’re using a baking pan you can line it with that stuff and save yourself A: food sticking to the pan and B: it’s a quick rinse and it’s clean.

2. Bread can get fucking expensive, so make your own. A bigass bag of flour and a bag of active dry yeast (store it in the friiiiidge!!!) works out a FUCK of a lot cheaper than buying bread at the store, and you can do so much more with it. Bread, pizza, rolls, cinnibuns, homemade pizza pockets. It seems intimidating but it’s stupid easy.

Seriously. It’s stupid simple to make, and most of the “3 hours” to make it is sitting around surfing the internet or doing whatever the fuck you want while the dough rises. If you have an afternoon free once a week to sit and play video games or surf the net, you have the time to make your own bread on the cheap. Here’s my simple-as-fuck recipe:

2 ¼ teaspoons active dry yeast (You can buy a bag of this stuff CHEAP in bulk stores, the little packets are hella stupid priced) 1 cup warm water (think a hot bath) 1 ½ teaspoons sugar 2 tablespoons oil (any kind works for the most part) 2 ¼ cups flour 1 teaspoon salt

1. Stir the yeast, water, sugar, and oil up in a bowl. Let it sit for about 10 minutes. It will foam up VERY high, this is the yeast getting happy! If it doesn’t get all foamy, the water may have been too hot or not hot enough. Remember, Yeast is alive! Treat it like a nice girlfriend!

2. Mix your flour, salt, and the yeast concoction up in a bowl.

3. Knead that shit for about 5 minutes. It will start sticky as heck, but will come together into a nice dough. If it’s still super sticky, toss in a bit more flour. Here’s how to knead it: 

4. Put your dough in a covered, lightly oiled bowl and leave it someplace warmish for an hour. At that point it will have roughly doubled in size, give it a gentle punch to release the gasses that have built up inside. Cover it again and let it sit for a bit longer.

Boom. You have bread dough. Here are some baking times and uses for ya:

Optional egg-wash: Just crack an egg into a bowl, add a pinch of salt, and mix the bejeebus out of it with a fork. Brush (or if you’re like me, goop it on with said fork) that shit thinly on bread before baking for a nice crust.

Pizza: Stretch it on a pan, stab the fucker all over with a fork, add toppings, bake 425*F 15-20 minutes. 

Bread Sticks: Make snake-shapes, let rest on pan 10-ish minutes, bake 400*F 10-20 minutes.

Dinner rolls: Make ball-sized (yes those balls) balls. Place on greased pan, let rest 10-20 minutes to rise. Egg-wash and bake 375*F 25 minutes.

Bread: Lightly score (cut) the top, let sit for 20-ish minutes on/in whatever you’re using to bake it, egg-wash, bake at 375*F for 20-ish minutes. It’s done when it sounds hollow if you knock on the bottom.

You bet your ass you can deep-fry this shit for cheapie yeast doughnuts. Roll that shit in sugar or dip it in whatever, it’s fucking tasty.

Bagels: YES. YOU. CAN. Form bagel-shapes out of the dough and boil them in salty water for about 2 minutes. Egg-wash them and bake them at 400*F for 10 minutes.

Cinnamon Rolls: Roll that shit out into a rectangle. Brush it with a mix of butter, cinnamon, sugar, and a pinch of salt (no exact amounts here, do it to your taste). Roll it up into a log, and cut it into discs. Let them sit 20 minutes in a pan and then bake at 375*F 15-17 minutes.

You can add whatever you want to the dough for some variety, just if it’s dried spices remember you really only need 1-ish tablespoons. I personally like making bread with about 1 tablespoon of dill in the dough. Roll it out flat, sprinkle it with cheddar, roll it into a log, squeeze the ends shut, and bake it like a regular loaf of bread. Cheesy dill bread OMNOMNOM.

*ahem* That got a bit long. But yeah. Bread’s expensive, yo. Save your wallet.

“Eat the rich” means 1%ers and billionaires

middle class is closer to poverty than being a multimillionaire

“The rich” does NOT include children of billionaires (come on we’re at least slightly better than the plagues of Egypt)

Upper middle class children SHOULD NOT feel guilt over having money

Being aware of privilege and using your privilege to help others IS NOT a guilt trip

Constantly feeling guilty helps no one

Billionaires, however, should feel guilty over hoarding wealth.

Upper middle class is NOT rich

Black Lives Matter

@catboymonoma your tag. It’s beautiful.

Twice: “Awe, but she’s so cool!”

Shigaraki: “I don’t care how cool you think she is, we don’t have room in the league for some random old lady—“

Grandma, walking in with a tray: “I made cookies.”

I give it MASCLES

And I wanna stress that when i say “top of the leg” i’m not talking about the crotch (please don’t flag me tumblr it’s an anatomical term) i’m talking about the point where the femur connects to the pelvis, which is higher up on the hips:

It’s easier to see what I’m talking about in this photo of a man squatting: 

So yeah if you use that measurement when using this technique you should get fairly realistically proportioned legs:

But remember! messing with proportions is an important and fun part of character design! Know the rules first so you can then break them however you please!

use & for friendships, colleagues, familial relationships and use / for romantic or sexual relationships (or encounters)

not everyone reads fic. Lots of people use screen readers, and screen readers can’t see what’s on images. use descriptive text to help them out.

lots of people download fic to read on other devices, not all downloads capture images too.

there’s a big difference between No Archive Warnings Apply (NAWA) and Author Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (CNTW). NAWA means that there’s nothing in the fic that needs to be warned for using the official Archive Warning system. CNTW means there might be something that requires a warning and the author is either avoiding giving out spoilers or they are unsure how to interpret their plot point with respect to the official Warnings. (in both cases, additional tags are where it’s at - you can explain yourself there) 

the reason why the number of bookmarks in the fic is different from the number of bookmarks on your stats page is because your stats page number includes bookmarks that are hidden

there’s a preference setting where you can receive emails with your own comments/replies.

there’s a site skin that hides stats so you don’t have to see them

writing in rich text format makes my life easier

knowing html allows me to do fun things in the comments section like comment/reply with reaction gifs

knowing html also allows me to do interesting formatting in my fics that I can’t do with rich text alone

those little blue bubbles with the question marks in them will answer my questions a lot of the time - and also teach me something new

the FAQ is linked under the word About in the header

if you write your fic in the draft window, you might end up losing it so make sure you copy the text before you hit Post, just in case

The Anonymous collection will allow you to post anything you want and retain ownership over it.

Your identifying information will not be anywhere within the fic to any other reader. Though you will see it from your end when looking at it as a logged in user.

When you reply to a comment, it will anonymize you, so feel free to respond to your commenters!

You can take your fic off Anonymous at any time

When you are signed into AO3, you can easily access your Anonymous fics by looking at the “Works In Collections” tab on your page. Nobody else will see these Anonymous works on this page.

Works can be added to the Anonymous collection at any time

Just because a fic is Anonymous does not mean it is Abandoned or Orphaned.

Speaking of Orphaned fics:

If you have posted a story and for whatever reason you no longer want it on your account or associated with you, you can Orphan the fic.

Orphaning fics will remove all of your control and ownership of the story.

Orphaning fics is not a reversible process. Once a fic has been Orphaned it cannot be taken back. You cannot delete it. You can’t check stats and it does not show up on your Works page anymore.

these r the channels i use

basically organisation has my schedule and any random stuff thats happening or i gotta do

media is where i drop a youtube video, episode of a show, or fic im reading with the time of where i am in the video that i need to close so i can focus

plus it doubles as a catalog of stuff to do when I’m bored!

then document is links to things i need open to do work or any slideshow links i get for school

Body Heat = 107.6 F

Cold Water = 40 F

Hot Air = 300 F

High Altitude = 15,000 ft

Starvation = 45 days

Diving Depth = 282 ft

Lack of Oxygen = 11 minutes

Blood Loss = 40%

Cold Water = 4 C

Hot Air = 148 C

High Altitude = 4572m

Starvation = 45 days

Diving Depth = 390m

Lack Of Oxygen = 11 minutes

Blood Loss = 40%