macheresin for the macherewin

I should be allowed to use fuck if I know as an appropriate and professional response to a work email

"That information has not been been made available to me at this time. Please CC me when you have an answer."

I wish people would stop saying “It’s July. Well done for wasting half a year.” Did you make someone smile in the past six months? Did you stroke a cat or throw a stick for a dog? Did you learn a new fact or teach someone a new joke? Did you laugh, cry, scream or sing in the past six months? Because if so, congratulations for not wasting your time at all.

Happy 10th birthday to this, my post of all time. Glad to have spent the last 10+ years wasting my time on tumblr with you all 💖

i am largely out of touch with a lot of stuff and dont even know where it came from, but sorry nothing said or done will make me hate on 6/7 as meme. its part of the time honored tradition of dumb jokes that exist entirely to be dumb jokes that annoy your teacher. its added to the canon of Funny Numbers and in such an unavoidable way (69 and 420 are way up there so its rarer to see them in the wild, and neither 6 & 9 or 4 & 2 & 0 are naturally next to each other when counting, but you are forced to say 6/7 before you even finish counting on your fingers, no matter what, which is hilarious). as a moral and political stance i feel its important to protect the youth's right to whimsy and mischief, for therein lies the true democratic spirit suppressed by the state. gen alpha get behind me

#holy shit at people in the notes this isn't 'tyrannical' it's basic courtesy AND against the tos #the spam report button is easily accessible for this exact reason #cross tagging is absolutely reportable spam according to tos so just don't do it #it also doesn't get you any more notes it just pisses people off

Like for real guys: This is against TOS. It is not allowed. It is spam. IT is not less spam because you are not a botfarm. Don't do it.

Will do this when I have kids

^^ that story is perfect

wishing all outdoor workers, delivery drivers, people who have to walk to work, bus riders, etc a very Don't die in this heat

i’m going to be really honest with you guys i think the tendency to read the absolute worst possible intentions into every action you don’t agree with is getting too automatic and it’s eating you from the inside out

my 100% failproof way to handle reactionaries asking why i don’t shave at all is going “because i don’t want to” it works because what they really want is an argument about the merits of feminism, and they’ll draw it out and try to convince you it’s a cult or whatever, but you can avoid it all by sticking to “i just don’t wanna. don’t feel like it” and if they argue with you about it you can use your ultimate ability, which is “i’m sorry i thought it was a free country?” which, believe me, they cannot come back from. they’ll either drop it or start harping on something you didn’t say, and it’s important you don’t take the bait at that point. when they can’t argue with what you say, they assume your beliefs and attack those. and you crucially must be visibly baffled at their change of direction because it will make them seem and possibly feel crazy (which they are). “i don’t want to shave” is a perfect response because truly it all comes down to autonomy and the ability to do what you want. they’ll try to say “feminism makes you think you have to do that” and it’s important to not take that bait. to reiterate that you don’t know what they mean and you just don’t like shaving and that it’s really weird to look into it that deep. this works i promise

Throwing firebombs at Jews gathering to raise awareness for the suffering of other Jews isn't antisemitism. Calling AIPAC "dark money" when it discloses its donors and saying it "turns us against each other" isn't antisemitic. Chanting "khaybar khaybar ya yahood" isn't antisemitic. Yelling "fucking Jew pricks" at random pedestrians isn't antisemitic. Shooting up a Chanukah party isn't antisemitic. Deliberately drawing on tropes about Jews and money and political influence for votes isn't antisemitic. Telling a Jewish American politician he serves "Israeli masters" isn't antisemitic. The only two antisemitic things that have happened in the last eighty years are Elon Musk's Nazi salute and Harry Potter Goblin. Wow! Incredible!

trying to work out who would be the weak link at the fellowship garden barbecue. obviously not sam, frodo doesn't really cook but does bring a huge amount of expensive cheese and wine from bilbo's cellar so he's out. merry and pippin exceed expectations which are admittedly low. boromir and gimli bring insane quantities of meat and spend the whole time at the grill cooking it and flexing, which is befitting of these kind of things. might be legolas but i think he would bring a lot of mushrooms, herb marinades, salads etc which is a good balance which unfortunately leaves mr six pack and trail jerky aragorn son of arathorn. (gandalf arrives late with dessert)

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

Schism? Schism today?

Wow, I didn't have "catholic schism" on my 2026 bingo card

I... Didn't realize that when there is a schism they actually issue a legal document that says "hey guys, there's a schism." Absolutely incredible

also afterwards everyone who was talking about their cool bunker fantasies were like "Damn, Devin's right, we should also be considering helping people around us." which is the only recorded instance of a retail shift making people better human beings.