Nerd World

Bear in mind this dream sounds cool but the reason they were out of chalupas is that they donated them all to the local deer rehab facility and I thought to myself “right, chalupas are really great for fawns”

Ok so last week I was hanging out with a friend and he told me that, when he was a child, he used to have a vhs tape with some random tv shows on it. And he says, “you know that sheep gif? that show was on the vhs, but I can’t remember how it was called, and google isn’t helping.” so we spent the weekend trying to find it, and we did! anyways the video was made by a cult

I have never encountered a post that legit made me feel like I’ve been punched in the chest before.

This started as a relatable artist meme but quickly turned into a horny cultist-driven train wreck

For those of you who don’t know, they also highly preached about encouraging pedophilia. They held up a child as a holy figure that they called “Little Ricky” or “Davidito” and molested/raped him for a long time. He ended up getting out of the cult (around age 25), but went back with a plan to kill those who had abused him. He ended up killing one of his mother’s associates who had been part of the cult, and had also planned to kill his mother. He committed suicide shortly after, unable to handle his feelings in regards to the murder and his long, long history of abuse.

I can’t believe, in an industry ripe with falsehoods, you managed to list everything that actually exists

king claudius is actually the funniest character in hamlet

the guy spends most of the play unable to understand why he feels so guilty despite having literally just murdered his brother, married his wife a couple of months after he was laid to rest and spent all his free time thotting it up in court and then when he finally realises, only thanks to watching a play where he's the villain mind you, that what he did was, in fact, Bad, instead of repenting for his sins or promising to lead the kingdom better to make up for it or something he just snaps and is like "i cannot fucking WAIT to kill my nephew"

i want to be WOOED!!! i want to be ADORED!!! fuck anyone who says it’s “cheesy” or “a cliche” i want to be ROMANCED!!!

[link] to the tweet chain

The span of human experience is so insane.

I’m reading this thing about how farmers in Japan considered thunderstorms to be good luck because they’d make more mushrooms grow so some Japanese scientists created this lil electrical machine that they wheeled through the forest administering shocks to the ground to simulate lightning strikes and the areas that they shocked yielded twice as many mushrooms as unshocked plots of land ⚡️🍄

https://blog.mycology.cornell.edu/2013/01/20/zap-lightning-gods-and-mushrooms/

the fact that we reached a point where we can simulate fake storms to make little buddies grow twice as much is like magic but slightly to the left and just down right delightful

crime show: well we don’t know what time she was taken but as you can see in this convenience store security footage she’s mouthing something and our lip reading technology tells us she’s saying ‘those three wise men they’ve got a semi by the sea’ which are lyrics to James Blunt’s song ‘Wisemen’ which was playing on that store’s favoured radio station at approximately 3:18PM and she disappears from view exactly five minutes later so therefore

yes, but can you blow it up and enhance it?

unfortunately this particular footage is extremely low quality and very grainy but as I zoom in on this super blurry pixelated image you can see the details become much clearer and easier to identify

But what about the extremely specific pollen found on the camera lens?

good eye! originally I didn’t even notice it was there but while combing through the footage I noticed three different people sneezed while in view of the camera. I did some research and found that the particles represent the pollen of this obscure plant life that is native to this particular state, which really doesn’t help us, except that it only ever blooms in the opposite season! So I did some digging and found four nurseries within a 50 mile radius, only one of which sell that plant all year round, which of course means

Hold on just one moment! If the twitch streamer was using the cameras live feed as background, then we should know the time of the crime! The twitch archive should mark how long the streamer had been on by the time of the perpetrators presence onscreen, and if we know when they went live, we will know the time the perpetrator was in the building!

DAMNIT JONES THIS ISN’T YOUR CASE

WELL IT’S MY CASE NOW! The Captain thinks your kidnapping is related to my investigation into that cult up state. So, apparently, we’re supposed to work together. I’m not any happier than you are.

but I hate sharing!

TOUGH SHIT MCNAMARA! Your kidnapping case is somehow connected with that cult that’s been sacrificing its members to in the belief that it will appease the elder god Cthulhu. Now, I don’t like it any more than you do, and I’m worse at sharing than a toddler with a new favorite toy, but lives may well be on the line here! Are you willing to put aside our differences, and do what needs to be done?!

Alright, but when we catch the perp he’s mine. I don’t care if he’s sacrificed a hundred victims to goddamn Mickey Mouse! That man may know who killed my father, and I won’t let anyone get in my way - not even someone with your develish smile.

Do you think you’re the only one who wants to find Eric’s murderer?! He was my partner! He was my friend! I know we haven’t worked together before, but this case will have us working together for a while, until we eventually find your fathers killer. And I can see this case taking us a long time, and defining both of our lives for the foreseeable future. But don’t worry McNamara, my years of experience on the force, put together with your grit, tenacity, and loose understanding of the rules will make for a great partnership, with plenty of laughs and sexual tension to go around. Until some being from on high decides the precinct isn’t ready for a same sex couple, and I rekindle my relationship with my previously unmentioned ex-wife. But we, and some unknown watchers of our adventures, will always know we were meant to be together, weirdly large age gap be damned!

executive producer dick wolf

This is the best demonstration of the principle of “yes, and” that I have ever seen. They should put this in textbooks.

The Olympic level mental gymnastics they do for it to be okay to sexualize children in anime