Ordered Chaos

the Carnivores & the Weeds!

The debris of his spaceships have landed on land that is considered a wildlife reserve for endangered-species.

Its home to an extremely rare beetle (the Boca Chica Flea Beetle.) known for its golden brown hue. This beetle is classed as a ‘Species of Greatest Conservation Need’.

And a little known ant species that hasn’t even been given a scientific name yet! (Its only been found in one other place in texas and Nicaragua.)

Oh but that’s not the end of it!

He’s been buying off local politicians and judges, bribing them with free teslas and campaign donations. That’s how he’s managed to get away with the mess he’s caused so far.

But, he fucked up. Because the locals here were furious with how he’s treating the environment and the news stations caught wind of it. And to save face, donated 30 million to the city.

He’s also been buying off properties here and after his tweets asking people to move here its obvious prices are going to skyrocket(he’ll make lots of money). But this in turn with push locals out and gentrify everything. And because we’re all Latino and non-white, and most immigrants no one will care!

All of this for the sake of ‘interplanetary exploration’ and living in other planets!

I don’t want other planets!

and it’s like… zero acknowledgement of sag

or how you can be fat and have small boobs/ass/thighs/hips

no thick neck along with the double chin

no fat rolls

all fat people are also drawn to have looooong legs as if to apologize for the rest of the proportions

i look at a “fat” character and what i see is just a skinny character with weight added on, even though that’s not how that works

and it’s just very clear to me that some artists want credit for “diversity” but don’t want to actually look at fat bodies. they apologize with hyper feminine outfits or the implication that the fat character is athletic or something. the fat character still has the perfect figure because “well, some fat people DO still have curves like that!”

we’re thicc and thick and “chubby” and plus size.

Here’s a link to the tweet.

Too many people base their understanding of fat bodies on plus size models, who are photoshopped, molded with cut outs, and chosen specifically because of how they still fit conventional beauty standards. They are not indicative of how most fat bodies look.

Please take the time to look at fat bodies that aren’t marketable and appreciate them for their own worth, beauty, and fortitude. Do not let fat bodies be alien to you, do not otherize us. This should be normalized.

Fat people deserve art and media that reflect fat bodies honestly. Seeing plus size models as our only rep only ends up setting out a new, impossible goal for fat people. We’re made to feel that we aren’t fat in the right way. It sends the message that you can fail at being skinny AND fail at being fat, which is an awful thing to do. No body is a bad body. All bodies deserve to be seen and to see themselves.

she stole your eye, your arm, and now your girl

So one time when I was doing my high school volunteer hours at this animal shelter, she showed up and said she had some kittens to drop off and some to pick up. I thought it was weird but I figured she fostered them and so I assumed she fostered cats and that explained the amount of random cats I’d see at her place (turns out she’d lure strays in for spaying/neutering and then take them to shelters around the area for socializing and ideally adoption).

So she dropped off three extremely socialized and friendly kittens that I guess she had picked up 2 days prior. And then grabbed a kennel thing with five feral-ass kittens one of the donors found near a dumpster.

I had seen them earlier but the day manager told me they had just gotten them the day before and they had not been socialized because they were waiting for “the expert”. And I guess that was this lady. So she puts on these thick black gloves and goes “Sweetheart can you hold this for me? I gotta prep the babies”, and I held the kennel still while this woman just 100% no fear sticks her hand in there and grabs a kitten that is NOT happy about it. She then grabbed it by the head gently, wrapped a tea towel or some type of cloth thing around it, and then laid it down to do something that was like equal parts origami fold and burrito roll?? Idek. Point is the kitten was PISSED. But it couldn’t move or anything because she wrapped it and secured the wrap with one of them big old timey baby pins. And she did it to the others as well. It didn’t even take her 5 minutes lmaooo. Then she put them back in the kennel and went home.

I asked the manager about it and he said “Oh yeah she’ll be here in 2 days to drop them off. She has a M E T H O D.” And just as he said she showed up two days later, with 5 perfectly friendly kittens in tow!

If you wanted to yell your request for information to your friend on the other side of a loud, crowded party in, like, 3 words, what 3 words would you pick? Those are your search terms.

So in our example in the first post, you do NOT type the full question into your search engine. Making google parse things like ‘list’, ‘5′, and ‘explain’ is going to muddy your results, and this is especially true if you care enough about your data that you’re not using google. Your search terms (WITHOUT quotation marks) would be “famous Africans”, or “famous African people” or “prominent Africans” if you want to be more discerning about what kinds of answers you get.

If you do a lot of online research (as kids in school should do), you pretty quickly get a sense of what sorts of terms are best. For instance, “famous African people” is better than “famous Africans” because the latter is likely to be keywords in a lot of fluff journal article titles, whereas “famous African people” is more likely to bring up lists. “Prominent” will bring up more wealthy businessmen and political leaders, whereas “famous” will bring up more entertainers. But any of these will work. Just pretend the search engine is someone who can’t hear you very well and wants the clearest question in the smallest number of words.

(Although this specific example is bad because anyone with internet research experience answering this question would just go straight to wikipedia, who have lists of these kinds of things, and pick 5 names they like the sound of).

Also, if you wanna get fancy, print this out and stick it on your wall:

(link to higher resolution image)

a summary:

- Two Josh Swains were in attendance. OG Josh, hailing from Arizona

- And Nebraska's own Josh Swain, from Omaha.

(feat. An Audio Engineer doing THE MOST for that sound quality)

-All the local news stations were there

- The majority of attendees were from out of state

- The two Josh Swains battled for supremacy by Rock Paper Scissors duel.

- The victor? Josh Swain, from Arizona. A crushing defeat for Josh Swain, who despite having none of Josh Swain's newfound Twitter Clout, DID have the home team advantage, as well as a Great Look.

- Following the Josh Swain Duel and coronation of the One True Josh Swain, there was an All-Josh pool noodle battle royale

- A brief list of notable Josh Variants I saw in this battle:

Josh Swain (Prime)

Josh Swain (Secondary)

Medieval Josh (full chain mail armor)

Spider Josh (x2)

"Josh Wick" (had pool noodles mounted to two electric drills for spin-attack capabilities)

Furry Josh (A Josh in a fursuit)

Big Josh (A large man with the words "Big Josh" painted on his bare torso, and "Dad Bod" painted on his back. Armed with pool noodle wolverine claws)

Little Josh (A small boy of about 5 years old)

Luchador Josh

Roman Centurion Josh

The rules were simple. Enter the ring and fight honorably (no headshots, no hits below the belt.) If you are hit with a pool noodle, you are dead, having fallen in glorious battle. The last Josh standing would be the winner.

The battle lasted a little over sixty seconds in total. The final victor was....

LITTLE JOSH, THE SMALLEST COMBATANT.

The crowd was going wild. The chanting for Little Josh was deafening. Truly there could have been no better outcome.

pool noodle combat was then opened to the general public, for fun rather than glory.

As for Josh Prime, he seemed like a very cool dude! As of last reporting, he raised $6600 dollars for the Children's Hospital and a truckload of nonperishables for the local food bank alongside the other Josh Fight attendees! He offered masks to any maskless people he met, and did his best to keep things as safe and socially distanced as he could, despite the ungodly amount of people who showed up to this random fucking field outside of Lincoln, Nebraska.

(Also for the Nebraskans: Yes he tried a Runza, and yes he says he enjoyed it.)