fumbled the queen but i still have to remain in her service because of my oath for life. so its just really awkward now all the time. fuck my stupid chivalrous life

Fix your sleep schedule.

I have a better suggestion. Stay up for research.

So last month I got hit by a car and died right. Which I didn't initially realize until I watched some guy haul my body into his pickup and drive off. Which, being that it's deep in rural Michigan, I assume means my body will make some venison jerky and maybe some wall decoration, and I'll be resigned to being one of hundreds of deer ghosts floating around Saginaw, which is w/e. But then I find out the guy works at a taxidermy shop or something, and he's actually pretty good at stuffing and mounting deer carcasses, which I come to find out when I find myself face to face with my old body in the shop window. So naturally, I figure since ghosts need to possess something to interact with the living world and etc etc etc the most logical thing to do is to possess my own body, since it's basically a statue of myself. And a little surprisingly, it actually fits like a glove. Like, since it's my body, it feels like stepping right back into place. So I get out of town and back to my herd, eventually. And that's where the trouble starts coming into it, because after I get settled again, I don't know how to explain to everyone else what feels so weird. Like since I can move my body and do everything I used to do, it's functionally the same, like nothing happened. Or it SHOULD be, so I don't know how to explain how it's NOT. But it's just hard to explain it to someone who's never been hit by a truck I guess

the problem with getting kidnapped by jigsaw is that I'd probably get impatient and start going for it before the instructions played, and then if I learned I was doing it wrong I'd be too stubborn to change my methodology. so I'd be waving around my severed hand like "look, I did it" while he's just like "the key was in the dog. you had to eat the smelly dog to get the key."

nobody else doing it like me. particularly because the way i’m doing it is needlessly difficult

you people will make anybody a daddy dom it’s so scary

i think one of the worst things the left wing internet ever did was push the idea that oppression is basically a virtue, and being oppressed is a sign of your morality. it has made it like…impossible for some of you to hold the idea that most people are privileged in some ways and oppressed in others. AND a lot of you seem to have it in your mind that terrible people cannot be oppressed, and that oppressed people cannot do terrible things, which is a dangerous rhetoric to hold imo.

i do really fuck with it whenever in like a tv show or book a character reluctantly refers to someone as their "friend" whether it's because they kinda hated each other or weren't close but the situation calls for them to acknowledge that they actually do care for each other OR because they have something more going on and it's too complicated to express and the situation just calls for them to communicate that this person is important in their life. yesss give the word friend weight and meaning

the thing I love most about how tumblr users use tags is that it’s like what if a social media website had a footnotes system

sorry I can’t hang out tonight. yeah I’m busy freaking out over things that might not even happen. yeah it’s gonna take a while

it is impossible to watch a movie. every night i think i want to watch a movie. no movie gets watched. because it's not possible

i wish drawing was a real thing that you could actually do

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

i refuse to listen to your haterisms if you cannot cite your sources... a REAL hater doesn't have to make shit up to be a hater about. a real hater sees the truth and hates accurately. a hater who makes shit up and is wrong is just annoying. get on the level

time loop with two people in it but one person refuses to acknowledge the loop and pretends to be looping with everyone else. meanwhile the other person is freaking out

must feel so good to be soil absorbing rain