i love when Astarion is mean, and i mean like genuinely mean, saying shitty things and lashing out specifically to hurt someone or push them away. i think it really says so much about him and about the specific situations when he feels the need to lash out. i love seeing it with Durge/Tav, but i'm playing a Karlach origin to romance him right now and he's so mean during his first romance scene when he can't even kiss Karlach.
after playing it, i went to look at the parsed dialogue for that scene because i wanted to see if there were any dev notes, and oh boy are there dev notes. walk with me here while i go through them all. (i didn't add alt text to the images below, but i did transcribe the lines i'm referencing in the images below, so all the important information is in the text of the post itself.)
it's the typical Astarion scene, but after his "i've been waiting to taste you" line, he diverges with: "Although your condition means tasting you could be a risky proposition. You're quite the forbidden fruit, aren't you?"
the player (as Karlach) has a few choices in reply at that point, but as long as they pick one that progresses the scene (i.e., not the one where you reject him last minute), he goes down the same dialogue tree. this tree starts with:
Astarion: All denied to us because of what Zariel did to you. [devnote: subtext, thinking about Cazador]
so right off the bat he's upset because Karlach's situation is reminding him of his own with Cazador.
but then his next line is:
Astarion: I - you know, I have no idea what to do with you now. [devnote: Astarion's mask as the flippant libertine is cracking a bit here. He's frustrated but vulnerable here. Because he can't physically seduce or touch Karlach, his usual means of interacting with a person is punctured. He's faced with the reality that he might not know how to handle a situation where he can't bite or seduce his way to the finish line.]
wow. that's a lot in that dev note.
at this point, the player has the option of a few responses, but two options to continue the encounter. the choices to continue it are: "You don't have to 'do' anything. We can just be." or "After the life you've led, I'm not surprised."
if you choose the first option, Astarion is frustrated but less mean. he says:
Astarion: 'Just be' what, exactly? Frustrated? Bored? What do we do, if not... that?
if you choose the second option, he's a little meaner. understandably so, since the player just poked at his painful past:
Astarion: You think you know the life I've led? The experiences I've had? You've no idea the stories I could tell, sweet Karlach. But you - you're just -
then, both the paths converge to the same final statement, which is mean no matter what Karlach has said to this point:
Astarion: Urgh! Why is this so difficult? I'd have already bedded you twice if you were normal.
importantly, there are dev notes for all of his lines here, but the notes are all the same:
devnote: Masking defensiveness with offensiveness. In truth he really does want what Karlach is offering (to just hang out without having sex) but now that it's within grasp he's floundering.
again, at this point the player has two choices to continue the encounter, and one to end it. i'll go down each continue path separately, since they can diverge quite a bit.
the first choice is to say: "Twice in this short space of time? Doesn't sound very satisfying."
Astarion: Karlach! You know what I mean. [devnote: Frustrated]
Astarion: Or maybe you don't.
Astarion: There may be an inferno in you, Karlach, but at the end of the day you've been frigid for a decade, isn't that right? [devnote: Being mean-spirited in an attempt to drive Karlach away, even though he doesn't actually want to do that.]
the player again has two response options to continue the encounter, and one to end it.
the first choice to continue the encounter is: "You want to try that again? Without being a jackass, maybe?"
Astarion: This is impossible - you're impossible! [devnote: Masking defensiveness with offensiveness. In truth he really does want what Karlach is offering (to just hang out without having sex) but now that it's within grasp he's floundering.]
(at this point, the path diverts to merge with the dialogue tree from the previous branch where Astarion complains about Karlach not being normal. so we'll pause here, and continue down that dialogue tree with the path 2 header below.)
the second choice to continue the encounter after Astarion says that Karlach has been frigid for a decade is to say: "What's really going on here, Astarion? Suddenly you're so vicious."
Astarion: Suddenly? Darling, you haven't been paying attention. [devnote: Seething and mean.]
Astarion: Listen, it's just - ... I'm sorry, all right? Is that what you want?
again, at this point, he diverts to the same shared dialogue tree as the other response option. that merges with path 2, so we'll continue there:
to go BACK to the previous branch we went down, where Astarion said he would have bedded Karlach twice already if she was just normal, the other response option for the player is: "I am normal. 'Fucked up' is the height of normalcy."
instead of being mean, Astarion immediately apologizes:
Astarion: Oh no - don't you tar me with your 'normal' brush. My demons keep me extraordinary. [devnote: Karlach has punctured Astarion's bad mood with a joke.]
and then he apologizes, like he does in the other paths, saying he doesn't know what to do without being able to touch her.
Astarion: I - ...I'm sorry, Karlach. It's just, not being able to touch you - having to slow down, it's... I'm just not used to it. [devnote: subtext here is on the slowing down. That IS what he wants. But it's hard for him to see that clearly.]
Astarion: So, can you -... I don't know. Help? Show me what to do? [devnote: First breakthrough. He's asking for help knowing what to do when you can't jump into bed with someone.]
again, at this point, the player has two options to continue the encounter or one to end it.
for the first response to continue, the player can say: "We can just talk. As long as we want. Then we can sleep. Near, but not too near."
Astarion responds to this one pretty positively. he's still a little mean, but it's in his fond teasing way, and not his biting, cruel way:
Astarion: Karlach, champion of the Hells, wants to talk and then fall asleep? [devnote: Incredulous]
My dear, you're much more boring than I gave you credit for. [devnote: Teasing]
All right, Karlach. Let's try it your way. [devnote: Gently. He's feeling vulnerable, but sees that this might be a chance to feel safe.]
the second response option from the player is: "I don't know either. This is all just as new for me as it is for you."
he doesn't respond quite as well to this one, and goes back to being mean:
Astarion: Well. To quote you: 'Fuck.'
Astarion: Why don't we put ourselves out of this misery and just sleep? If I can at least look at you, I won't have wasted my whole evening. [devnote: Peak of Astarion sexy toxicity.]
then, the scene fades to black and it transitions to the morning-after scene with Astarion, where the player first sees his scars.
i also think as a whole, this scene is just so representative of Astarion's early-game state of mind. he's following a comfortable script with all his interactions, but when he's confronted with something new, he flounders.
especially when it comes to sex, which is a touchy subject for him, his first reaction to any vulnerability is to lash out and hurt people. in this scene:
if Karlach brings up his past experiences, he lashes out. ("You think you know the life I've led?")
he blames Karlach for the situation because that's easier than addressing that he doesn't know what to do without his script. ("if you were normal")
if Karlach jokes about him ("Doesn't sound very satisfying") he lashes out even further, calling her frigid and impossible and then even doubling down if she calls him out ("you haven't been paying attention").
but if Karlach jokes about HERSELF ("'Fucked up' is the height of normalcy"), it snaps him out of his toxic bullshit and he's able to take a step back and apologize to her.
then regardless, he's also able to recognize that this is an opportunity to get what he wants without having sex, and recognize that he wants that too.
and then to me, Astarion being mean in that last response choice ("I don't know either") makes perfect sense, given the context of his other lashing out earlier in the conversation. even if the player didn't make those previous choices where he lashed out at them, he can still get mean and toxic on this choice.
crucially, with this choice, he's taken that step of hopeful vulnerability where he recognizes that maybe he does want to just spend time with Karlach without having sex, but he doesn't know how to do it. he asks for help.
if the player says they don't know how to do that either, he immediately puts those defensive walls back up. he doesn't want to flounder around, he wants an answer. he wants to know that it's actually possible to have a positive experience with someone without the script he's always used. the player saying they don't have that answer just pisses him off.
wow okay this post got really long, but i really vibed with the dev notes for this scene, and i think you can see exactly these toxic behaviors from Astarion in other scenes and in romances with other characters as well, but it's just so so clear with the Karlach scene and the dev notes just really highlight that.
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