instead of here

no writing updates from me for awhile as i think some space from Tumblr for a time will be good for me and i get stressed as usual thinking i'm just being annoying talking about myself which is dumb cause this is literally my blog. i also get anxiety about my writing pace at times, and i know it's bugged some readers. seriously, i wish i could be one of those cool writers that could post once or twice a week. but i'm not smart like that or something. anyway. getting a chance to reflect on my writing journey is nice, but also it was a way for me to communicate that i'm doing the best i can with the little time i have and stuff. it helped me too, to not feel like like my efforts were fading into obscurity, which is a crappy feeling you know - i don't think most people would be down for it. but i'm also trying to face the music, because that could be happening, can happen, and if so then i'm telling myself that it is natural. well, idk if it's actually natural. but i'm just trying to tell myself that it doesn't mean anything bad about me (MY BRAIN IS RUDE LIKE THIS TO ME AS U CAN SEE GODHELPWHY ;~;) anyway, i know it's not anything worth worrying about either way. it's complicated ig. i do feel a lot of joy getting a chance to see some of your names pop up when i'm here, and if you're reading this then i'm probably talking about you haha! but a lot of my friends or writers i've known for awhile now also have been kind of either fading out of this space, and coming onto here just kind of reminds me of that loss more than anything and gets me really down at times. i'll still be a lil active on discord and read the occasional fic, but yee...

ALL THIS TO SAY: ALL I WANT TO DO IS WRITE ABOUT EFFY GETTING RAILED BY ELFDICK. IVE EDGED MYSELF FOR OVER TWO YEARS TO GET TO THIS POINT AND DONT WANT TO BE ALL EMO AND SHIT ABOUT IT. AND DURING THIS TUMBLE HIATUS THAT IS WHAT I SHALL BE DOING IN THE ITTY BITTY TIME I HAVE BEFORE BED EACH AND EVERYDAY UNTIL IT IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE WORLD OR I AM DEAD. AND MY HOPE IS THAT THIS TUMBLE HIATUS WILL ALLOW THE MEANER PART OF MY BRAIN TO STFU FOR ONCE IN MY GD LIFE SO I CAN FOCUS ON THE PURE JOY OF ~~FUCK ISLAND~~

in all seriousness, i love ya. to everyone who's bothered to reach out with a kind word in the last month, thank you ten million times. when my heart goes dark i read your messages <3

i will be back eventually.

thank you for the tag @rubyeyebabybat & @inkymoonbunny !!! it's been awhile since i've played these games; it reminds me of why i love this fandom <3 and i loved both of your lines. tonight was the first time i've written since the last chapter drop, so this is the longest i've gone without writing! it was nice to get back into it, even if all that's coming out are the most disgusting and sappy feelings of Effy being so gone for Astarion i might puke my whole soul out. also this is more than one line so i'm a tiny bit cheating but ya.

Until You

Chapter 27

darling, i’ve surrendered. i surrender. please let it be your turn.