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It's a game between the two of them. This is their version of that game where everyone has to yell sex louder than the last person until one chickens out.

Shane has hopped onto Ilya's back like a backpack and has Buried his nose behind Ilya's jaw, waiting for someone to finally suggest that maybe there's a line to physical affection at the rink, but then Ilya casually mentions how he was afraid to even have photos of Shane on his phone 🥺 and now the team feels too sad to say anything for at least 24 hours.

remember when porter martone mentioned this nhl combine question on the empty netters pod and they were begging him to share his answer and he kept dancing around it and finally he was like well. I’ll get the bat and I’m going to survive. like I’m crying laughing he really said sure I’ll murder

The tifosi moves different for Charles and Charles would stand forever still for the tifosi

Anon, it's like you're in my head. We are vibrating on exactly the same frequency. At ALL times I am thinking about that biblical image of Charles AND that insane cage quote! And here's the thing with both of those--in the photo he's reaching back, arms outstretched towards the faithful; the second part of that quote is "Driving for Ferrari is an honour, even in difficult times.”

The thing is, as you point out, it's mutual. The tifosi love Charles and he loves them too, but more than that, he loves Ferrari. They bleed for the same thing, their devotion all flows back to the same place. When he wins, it feels like he wins for them, and when he suffers defeat, it feels like he's suffering for them. Because he is a self-proclaimed tifoso, too. Dreaming of the red car since childhood, coming up in the Ferrari academy, winning Monza in his first season. He's the closest thing to a pure Ferrari driver, who has been committed to one team his whole career. His whole life, really. Next season Charles will be tied for second longest tenured Ferrari driver ever (second only to Michael). He has carried the team through some very bad years, always wanting to win the championship only in rosso corsa. Believing he will. So of course, the tifosi move differently for him. In a sport where most contracts are short, loyalties change, drivers follow money and opportunities, what is Charles' dedication to Ferrari if not devotion made real?

Anyway, here are some of what I consider to be sanctified Charles pics:

Shane starts getting grays at 35, so by 45 he is a salt-and-pepper kING. It makes for a distinguished photograph on his memoir. He has a ghostwriter, obviously, how do you expect him to just sit and write all day? He writes the chapter about his and Ilya's rivalry though, only at the end of the chapter is he like "And we were married in the summer of 2021 with a honeymoon in Spain. He's the best person I know." after just a dry comparison of all their stats Pre-Centaurs.

One child. Boychild. Shane's genes and a Russian name. Conceived via surrogacy after Ilya retires first due to busted ass knee syndrome. Child enjoys hockey. Not great at it. Looooves playing the oboe in school band. Shane checks it out and AS IT TURNS OUT the oboe is a difficult, competitive instrument. They proceed with characteristic intensity, as if this was athletics. Son, you're gonna win at the oboe.

Ilya needs glasses. He just steals Shane's off his face and it's a whole ritual that ends in them kissing. Boychild is mortified every time they're trying to read a take-out menu.

Shane gets into hockey commentary/podcasting and is notoriously. Um. Not Nice. A lot of "What?? What did I say??" It's never personal though. Just about players' shitty game.

Ilya is Big. Chunky. He's glorious. Muscle that now has fat over it. Arms like tree trunks. Torso: round. 100% Naturalized Canadian Citizen Beef. Hair, everywhere. Shane must BITE to check it all out and make sure everything is in order.

Shane gets really into individual athletics- rock climbing, marathons before he also gets busted ass knee syndrome, biking, swimming, anything where it's like testing the limits of his body against himself. Ilya is like a "fifty push-ups every day keeps me in shape enough to fuck you right" kind of guy, but he joins in sometimes just to make Shane get furious with competition

New rookie/juniors player billeting every year once boychild goes to music conservatory so they build a whole separate wing for the youngsters so it doesn't interfere with empty-nest fucking

Once they hit 50 they do get up stupid early like old men do and have old man coffee shop time with David Hollander (professional boring old man) at their favorite diner. Shane really cherishes this time with his dad and makes it a point to do it as often as they can. Conversely, they build Yuna a mother in law house when David passes away (death comes for us all) and she becomes crazy hockey mom to all their rookies.

Shane is terrorising the local birdwatching community

Ilya is personally if inadvertently responsible for at least four divorces among his kid's schoolmate's parents

every time they attend a Centaurs game they end up on kiss cam (which isn't even a THING Shane is convinced they do this just to fuck with him) and they always pretend to be reluctant and roll their eyes and oh, fine, if you insist *smooch* *deafening cheers*

Ilya is delighted and even does the whole hand-waving choreography for "I would like a ring, a diamond ring" part in Shane's face as he blushes. He does this with his non-dominant hand of course, because they have been holding hands the whole video. (Shane will buy Ilya 7 different high-end diamond rings on Newbury Street the next day for him to pick from. Ilya like a good Slavic trophy spouse will pick all of them.)