Everyone's favorite least favorite rodent boy!

MLP x 1920s, The Grand Galloping 20s.

INSTEAD we got a love for Hamilton-style Lin Manuel rap and theatre music (with a remaining racist disdain for the rap the rest of Black people perform), the most liberal version of the creation of the United States ever, and most people still probably couldn't name you more than the same four Black people they talk about every Black History Month.

(I'm trying to use scientific reasoning and charismatic journalism to support a very simple headcanon that really only needs to rely on vibes. This gets long.)

(I'm using "he" because I don't know how to refer to Garfield when switching back and forth between canon portrayals backed by years of comics and animation, and a completely hypothetical catgirl version. Also keep in mind that I'm not perfectly versed in Garfield lore.)

You may have seen the occasional portrayal of catgirl Garfield, most likely of the goth variety. I saw a couple of these, and got thinking: Garfield seems like he'd be kinda butch, right?

If Garfield were a cat*girl* rather than just a typical cat, he seems like he'd be less active in performing femininity. Not necessarily because of any strong dislike of femininity, but simply because of the tedious amount of work put into it.

Women are often expected to spend time applying makeup before going about their day, and styling their hair in certain ways, managing body hair, etc. I don't really see Garfield as being the sort to spend time curling hair and applying winged eyeliner.

I think a hypothetical catgirl Garfield could be considered masculine, not necessarily through actively practicing and performing masculinity, but passively, through "failing" to actively and constantly perform femininity. This wouldn't be devastating, or even upsetting, for Garfield, for Garfield is not indentured to others' perception.

Here's my opinion on what Garfield *would* do: Dress for comfort and efficiency. As in, wearing hoodies and tee-shirts, shorts (basketball for movement, cargo for the convenience of pockets), and maybe some slip-on shoes. Hair might be short, for less tangles.

These clothes are often considered masculine, not because there's anything *distinctly* masculine about them, but because they aren't specifically set aside as feminine.

Of course, not particularly caring a bunch about detailed appearances doesn't necessarily limit you to "masculine" clothes. Dresses are often easy to slip on, and are one piece rather than two, making them extra convenient. (Patty Bouvier approach to Garfield). There are also tons of soft tees and pants specifically tailored and designed for women, with "feminine" patterns, pictures, and cuts, which are as convenient as anything else to stick on and go about your day. If you really want to go with "anything comfortable," then you could just as well wear a tracksuit everywhere (Shout out to me as an autistic twelve-year-old, who wore nothing the same neon-colored jogging clothes for multiple years.)

So, Garfield isn't *necessarily* butch, as far as Calculated Clothing Convenience goes. However, there's also what feels most at home in the context of the Garfield comics.

The Garfield comics are built upon a combination of sarcasm, slapstick, and relatability to the audience (people who read the comics in newspapers, presumably not fans of Mondays?). The whole feel of the comics, with their colorful panels, their office worker demographic, their specific type of humor, and the fact they were created in the seventies, scream one thing: *Dads.* Of course, Garfield, a drawn representative of said comics, would, girl or not, dress like a dad. What do dads wear? They wear weird button ups! (Not mine, though) They wear sci-fi tee-shirts! (Yeah, mine does that.) They wear cargo shorts!

[(By dads I mean (the stereotypical) Dads. Not fathers, not pops', Dads. Middle-aged men named Frank and Mike and Bob, who obsess over the French Revolution and sneeze loud. (Of course this is just one regional flavor of dad. You don't need to fit these exact descriptions to be a dad, you just need to be filled by the same slightly-goofy-and-with-undiagnosed-neurodivergence-that-will-not-be-revealed-until-you-have-kids spirit.)) (Please, I don't want to start dadscourse)]

So, of course, we weed out the things that Garfield the character would not bother with, that being daily makeup. Then, we narrow it down to what Garfield represents, that being dads I guess. Then, we connect our findings with the concept of butchness, which I shall attempt to do:

There exists, somewhere, a Venn diagram of dads and girls (girls are an important aspect of catgirls, you might have forgotten the topic during the dad rant). Butches are often in the middle of that diagram. Not always, but often enough for Garfield to be one.

Don’t constantly shift your food around in the pan if you want to form a crust on it, the less you move it the better.

Don’t be afraid to add water if youre frying up food and the food/sauce looks a bit dry.

Don’t fry up your garlic early on in the cooking process (unless youre making a quick garlic oil) as the garlic flavour can straight up disappear if overcooked for too long and/or the garlic can become bitter if burnt

Don’t overcook your vegetables. Look up recommended cook times for them. Your distaste for vegetables stems from them being overcooked and being poorly seasoned.

Don’t microwave stuff for more than 2 minutes at a time unless you know what you’re doing. Reheating stuff tends to fare better when you mix food between microwaving times since microwaves develop hotspots if you microwave it uninterrupted for too long.

I’m currently in culinary school so I hope you don’t mind if I add a couple tips myself:

Salt and pepper are your bffs, salt especially. Even a little bit of salt can have such an impact on a dish and it helps bring out and amplify all the other flavors in a dish

When you’re cooking green veggies, never EVER cover them. You may have grown up hating broccoli, green beans and brussel sprouts that were limp and that horrid shade of olive puke green. It’s because if you cook or steam green veggies in a covered pot the enzymes and parts of the plant that make it green will break down and turn that nasty shade

Speaking of cooking vegetables, I’m begging you to please please look up and try roasting veggies if you’ve never done it before!! It’s so so easy, it works beautifully with practically any vegetable you can imagine and you can season them however you wish!

My last tip is if you’re going to invest in any sort of kitchenware, have it be a good sharp knife and good quality pots/pans. And if you do end up getting these items, make sure you take good care of them! Most metal kitchenware will last longer if you hand wash them, as opposed to always running them through the dishwasher which will rust them so much faster. So make sure to look up proper care if you’re unsure

Pressure cookers can turn weird looking pieces of chewy gristle filled meat that no on else wants to buy despite being on sale for $3 into melt in your mouth gourmet.

Pasta water can be used to thicken sauces. In a pan just a tablespoon or two can turn scampi from watery and runny to thick and creamy.

this creature can perceive when I put the treats up on the high shelf. or when I hide stuff behind my back. I can't fool her!! she's always watching me and she shouldn't have this much knowledge!!!

Xoxo

-Designer