@winterironmonth prompt â SFW Friday: Trope/AU
Was this just an excuse to write shenanigans? Yeah. Enjoy!
Tony frowned down at the paperwork he was supposed to be going over, brows furrowing together in frustration when he realized heâd doodled on the margins as if it was one of his blueprints. He let out a puff of breath and sat back in his seat, rubbing his hands over his face. âCan you print out page⌠forty-seven of this contract again?â
âHmm?â Pepper asked around the cap of her pen. After a moment, she dragged her eyes up from her own copy, peering at his doodle with a frown. âDo you need to take a break? I could go order us coffees.â
âNo, Iâm just⌠distracted,â Tony huffed, frustrated, and scribbled out the doodle heâd made of what might have been a dog, if he was being generous with himself.
Pepper blinked at him slowly, considering, before she very carefully asked, âIs there something you want to talk to me about?â
âI donâtââ Tony began, then sighed again, this time long enough that he sagged back in his seat with it. âItâs not something that can be talked out of my system, I think?â
âMaybe we can up with a solution together, then,â Pepper said, putting her copy of the contract on the desk. âWeâll never know unless we try.â
Tony frowned at his sheaf of papers, then half-heartedly flicked the top sheet so it slid further across the desk. âBucky doesnât shift in front of me.â
ââŚOh,â Pepper said, once the surprise had worn off. âIâIâm sorry, Tony. That must be very frustrating.â
Tony lifted his hands in an aborted shrug, letting them fall back onto his seat with another sigh. âHe shifts in front of everyone except me. And like, I get it, in a way? Itâs a very intimate thing, to show someone your shift.â
âYes,â Pepper agreed sympathetically. She opened her mouth to continue comforting him.
âBut I donât understand why he would think thatâs more intimate than fucking me into theââ Tony charged on.
âFucking stop,â Pepper ordered, holding her hand up to physically show him to stop.
âWell I donât,â Tony grumbled, crossing his arms and sinking into his seat.
Pepper waited to make sure he wouldnât continue, then sighed, shaking her head. âHave you tried talking to him about it?â
Tony shrugged petulantly. âI donât want to push him into anything. Sometimes he does things just because he thinks itâs expected of him after all that Hydra did to him.â
âGee, why does that sound familiar,â Pepper mumbled.
Tony scowled up at her. âWhat was that?â
âI said, can you get Natasha to drop a few hints?â Pepper said, as if he did not know she was lying to his face.
Tony scowled at her a little longer, then sighed again. âIt feels childish to get someone else involved. Itâs not a big deal. I justâI wonder if itâs because of my shift, sometimes.â
ââŚYouâre afraid heâll crush you,â Pepper guessed.
Tony shrugged, looking away from her. âYeah, or, um. Well, you know. Some people are. Superstitious. Sometimes.â
Pepper stared at him, aghast. Finally, though, she got her wits back and spluttered, âTony. Youâre a teeny tiny bat.â
âDonât say Iâm teeny tiny,â Tony muttered, scowling.
âYou weigh half an ounce, Tony!â Pepper shouted over him. âIâm sorry, thereâs nothing threatening about you in your shifted form. I watched you slap yourself in the face because you got excited about eating a moth.â
Tony sank in his chair, miserable. âSo he doesnât shift because he doesnât respect me in mine?â
âThatâs not what I fucking said,â Pepper snapped. âTony, youâre adorable. I watched Steve punch Thor for the opportunity to hold you.â
âHis hands were very warm,â Tony remembered. Steve had been so gentle. Heâd rubbed the tip of his thumb over his head and lulled him into sleep. It was nice.
âIâm so fucking jealous,â Pepper muttered to herself.
Tony had no idea why. She was a beautiful swan. She was glorious and terrifying. Tony liked hiding under her wing. âSteve would pet you, too. He doesnât mind birds.â
âYouâre so stupid,â Pepper said, but she was doing that thing where her eyes went dewy, so he figured it was that thing where everyone just got overwhelmed by how cute he was, so he didnât take offense. âFine. You keep your mouth shut. Iâll drop a hint for Natasha. That way youâre not involved.â
âAnd weâll get me another copy of page forty-seven,â Tony added.
Pepper rolled her eyes, then turned and stood up. âNope! Weâre going out to lunch. If I read another page of this, my eyes will cross. Theyâll still be here tomorrow.â
âI could eat,â Tony agreed as she walked around the desk to pull him onto his feet.
Tony was dozing in his easy chair when he felt someone carefully poking at his face. He blinked his eyes open. Bucky was standing over him, raising an eyebrow and frowning at him. But he was also upside down in Tonyâs view, so he decided he wasnât nervous about it. âHi,â he said.
âNatasha said that Pepper said that you said you were sad I donât shift in front of you,â Bucky said.
âThis has backfired horribly,â Tony decided.
Bucky rolled his eyes, frown fading. He squatted down next to the chair and raised his eyebrows, tilting his head so it looked right-side up. âSweetheart, itâs not that I donât want to shift in front of you. Itâs just that any time I want to, youâre already shifted, and I literally canât see you when Iâm in my wolf form.â
âWhat?â Tony said, rubbing his eyes.
âYouâre tiny,â Bucky said. âI am big. I am constantly terrified of crushing you when youâre in your little bat form.â
âDoesnât stop you from smothering me with kisses,â Tony muttered petulantly.
Bucky scowled at him. âYouâre tiny, I said. And youâre the one who always says I have cute aggression. Do you want me to stop smothering you with kisses?â
âNo,â Tony answered hurriedly.
âAnyway, I have great vision as a wolf, but youâre tiny that itâs hard for me to catch sight of you, and Iâm afraid Iâll accidentally step on you before I see you,â Bucky explained. âI wasnât trying to hurt your feelings or anything. I just couldnât risk it.â
âYou can be a wolf and I can be human. Thatâs fine,â Tony told him, trying to make sure sincerity dripped from his every word. He liked being a bat with Bucky, sure, but they could take turns. Relationships were about compromise. He could compromise.
Bucky smiled at him, shrugging. âI donât mind, honestly, I justââ He cut himself off, looking stunned, then leaned in, whispering, âTony. I just had the wickedest idea. The team will hate us.â
Tony remembered that the last time Bucky had said that, Steve had threatened to snuggle both of them to death while trying not to cry. He always loved upsetting Steve like that. âYeah, okay.â
âI knew there was a reason I loved you,â Bucky replied, lips spreading into a wide, mean grin.
âTHIS ISNâT FUCKING FAIR!â Natasha bellowed.
Tony did not look up from his spot spread out across Buckyâs furry skull like a hat. He squeaked.
âOh my God he just squeaked,â Steve whimpered, burying his face in his hands. âThis is so cute. I canât believe you two would do this during Phone-Free Friday.â
Bucky strutted around the room proudly. Tony squeaked again.
âIâd just like it on the record that Tony and Bucky are the meanest people on the team and I donât understand why everyone thinks theyâre a cute couple,â Clint choked out.
Bruce looked up at the ceiling pleadingly. âJARVIS, please, just one picture? Please. Iâm begging.â
âUnfortunately, it was unanimously voted that I adhere to the rules of Phone-Free Friday as well,â JARVIS reminded everyone, somehow sounding entirely sympathetic and not at all. âNo photos, no videos, no transcripts. Your time together is perfectly private.â
âFUCK,â Natasha bellowed again.
âSteve, arenât you an artist?â Thor asked.
Steve whipped around to give Bucky and Tony a sharp look. âI am. I could draw this.â
Tony squeaked plaintively, and Steve was weak again, crumpling to the ground with a sob. âPlease I canât take much more of this.â
Bucky took another lap around the room, smug. Tony squeaked again.
âI have decided I am going to eat both of you,â Natasha said, pupils going sharp and feline, and Bucky yelped and turned to sprint for the elevator.
Tony squeaked in dismay as he lost his grip on Buckyâs fur at one of his jolting steps, bouncing from his head and fluttering impotently to keep from hitting the floor. He didnât have enough time, though, so heâd certainly hit the floor in a way that left him sore for days. Luckily, Thor slid across the floor to catch him, and Tony peeped his thanks, wrapping his wings around one of his thick fingers.
âHOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE LIKE THIS,â Natasha thundered. âI TAKE BACK TELLING BUCKY YOU WERE SAD. THIS IS EVEN WORSE.â
Bucky stood between Natasha and Thor protectively, baring his teeth. Tony squeaked and fluttered a wing at him, then squeaked again in alarm when he almost fell, quaking back into Thorâs palm as he gently adjusted him.
âI think Iâll just lie down and die,â Steve muttered, letting himself fall the rest of the way to the floor.
Clint flopped himself down next to him. âYeah, this is just too much. And I thought he was cute in just your hands.â