trying on a metaphor

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if i look back, i am lost

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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@catchmeimfallingforu

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"Just know, I'll be here waiting."
Oh this is gorgeous
yes
Why's there a sliced salmon in the background?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scoop_(utensil)
Scoop (utensil) - Wikipedia
Something I found hilarious the other day was seeing one of those “I bought this before Elon Musk went insane” bumper stickers, except it wasn’t on a Tesla. It was on the most beat up 20+ year old Toyota Corolla I’ve ever seen that was missing three hubcaps and had no less than seven different dents in the rear bumper. yeah I do not doubt that you bought that one before musk went insane
Obi-Wan wears like 53 layer of robes so everyone assumes he’s kinda soft especially compared to his ‘in the prime of his youth’ former Padawan but then one day he goes shirtless to spar and he’s shredded, he has an 8 pack. Clones and Jedi alike are choking on drinks and tripping into walls. Ahsoka is covering her eyes and screaming because that’s basically her grandpa. Anakin has to throw a robe over Obi-Wan like The Birth of Venus.
I BLAME YOU ALL
Why isn’t this in the Met or the Louve, I ask kindly.

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Too good to stay on twitter
um … compilation

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my dad was outside feeding the slugs cucumber slices earlier
he was like ‘thats the same one from last night!’ (he was feeding the slugs cucumber slices last night too) im like man you’ve been spending too much time with the neighbourhood slugs if you can tell them apart
Friendship comes in many forms. Don’t get in the way of a man and his friendly slug friends
you’re right sorry dad for my crimes
This made me laugh cus it’s actually really accurate. Like one time he called me downstairs to see the ‘cutest thing ever’ and it was three slugs of varying sizes eating cat food and he said ‘they are a family!! Just like us!!’
Great news everyone. There was a kitten wandering in the drive thru at work and my inner warrior cats kid tried to be a hero and capture him.
I have now suffered multiple puncture wounds and have to go to the emergency room.
Me: I shall become his mother and gain his trust
Me talking to an animal control officer five minutes later: he is a nasty horrid little boy and I am bleeding heavily
Animal control officer on the phone: So he’s in your car with you?
Me: Um. It’s his car now and he’s very mad at me.
Second animal control officer: oh you captured him and got him in your car? He’s friendly?
Me, my right hand completely wrapped in paper towels: wouldn’t say that
Urgent Care Nurse: Wow it’s strange he managed to get you so many times.
Me: I uh. Did not let go.
You vibe as someone prone to toxic relationships
People on tumblr will just say anything huh.
Oh cmon, "he hurt me a lot cause i couldn't let go" absolutely has double interpretation.
Me, holding a cat (of unknown gender) as it repeatedly digs its little teeth deep into my flesh: Is this… too… yuri?
This website is free
We pay in other ways.
This is how I celebrated the Ides of March last year. I don't know how to commit to the bit any more this year, but I'll take suggestions.
This is the kind of thing I respond with when my conservative relatives (several of whom are cops) complain about movements to defund the police.
If you frame it as "police are supposed to protect us, doing all this other work isn't their job" then it sounds like you are actually on the police's side--like, all the good copaganda shows have cops who want to defend the innocent and put bad guys away, but how can they do that if they're busy doing wellness checks or wrangling stray dogs?
It's a foot in the door, it makes them think, and that's where you have to start with the blue lives matter crowd.
i think it's pretty awesome how all public transport is free actually, it's like really nice of them how you can just not pay if you don't feel like it or can't afford it
this is a post about fare evasion #fare evasion gang
one thing I never see mentioned anywhere but which was pretty much standard in left wing circles when I was a teenager is that when a random ticket check happens on the train and you actually happen to have a ticket, then you take an incredibly long time to look for it in your bag even though you know exactly where it is so other people have time to get up and change waggons or even get out. I also knew some white cis guys who would just routinely act suspicious by getting up and looking over their shoulders at the ticket control guy in the hopes that they (with actual tickets) would raise suspicion so the ticket people wouldn't just go straight to the only poc or homeless looking people on the train.
Oh damn I love this

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Happy Holidays! Don't forget to grab a knife :)