Carnelian Corax

eating would be fine if it was only a recreational activity. instead, its a horrible sisiphean nightmare and you need to do it every day without fail on threat of pain and death

there seems to be a fundamental disagreement between microwave oven manufacturers and the producers of microwave meals over whether the customer should know the wattage of their microwave or if such details should be abstracted away from them

the microwave rice demands 800 watts of power for 2 minutes, but all the microwave can offer me three settings: one low, one high, and one somewhere in the middle. I turn it to the one in the middle as I happen to know 800W is the average power of most microwaves. the light comes on and the bag of rice starts slowly turning, but rather than hearing the usual rumble of the microwave, I instead start hearing short snippets of conversation - words snatched from the ether. the lights flicker and a chill runs up my spine. the voices remind me of those "spirit boxes" ghost hunters use. I double check the setting on the microwave. "ah," I say, remembering that I had set it to medium,

there is, in fact, a "platonic explanation for this" if you're not a coward

its so fun to see the diversity of tags on this ranging from "they're literally just standing next to each other" to "deep bonds dont have to be romantic/sexual!" to "yeah friends can fuck nasty, platonically. coward." we're all so correct, there are, in fact, a million platonic explanations for this

We need a replacement for "there's no straight explanation for this" that means something like "there's no explanation for this that does not involve these characters caring so deeply for each other that it breaks the expected bounds of friendship" but I cannot think of a way to say that that has the same ring to it

:) i love when i can tell i have mutuals going thru my blog like it's the morning paper or whatever it makes me happy. pls continue

(emerges 3 hours later covered in blood) i figured out what emotion i was feeling

Everyone’s assuming her petrifying gaze would have NO effect here and that’s clearly wrong. It would be a healing stat buff actually. She can regenerate and strengthen her girlfriend by looking at her.

Just like girlfriends in real life

Just like girlfriends in real life.

[id: digital art of Medusa in the middle of painting. She is looking fondly at a cute feminine gargoyle who is leaning on her, arms covering their chest, white fabric draped across their lap. The gargoyle is saying “I love how you paint me!”]

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.

"Was this book good or was I deeply 19 when I read it:" an investigative journalism series

“Was this book bad or was I simply lacking enough life experience to appreciate the narrative when I read it” : an award-winning followup

love between vampires can be one thing, or it can be countless things. however you want me, i can be that for you. you said you want me to be present as your maker? i can be a maker for you. i want to be your maker. disregard the last 500 years in which i was repulsed by the idea. i don't have any complicated feelings about that at all. you said you want cool vampire powers even though you're a three year old fledgling? i can help you become a daywalker, a skill that apparently takes centuries to develop. you're an investigative journalist, don't you want a scandal on lestat? i can give you a scandal. i want to help you finish that job. lestat fucks his mom. isn't that good? aren't i useful? aren't i worth keeping around?

there are a lot of female characters where you can say that lesbian sex would fix them but it's kind of even more fun when it wouldn't. like clearly she wants to be having it but it would make everything worse and ruin her life. and i would like to see it.