Commissions are open
Tumblr demanded to crunch down the quality of the first image, but it should be fine
Feel free to message me on here about anything! All I got set up though is PayPal (and now Venmo)
YOU ARE THE REASON
almost home

NASA

roma★
taylor price
occasionally subtle
RMH
Peter Solarz
i don't do bad sauce passes
d e v o n

Not today Justin
hello vonnie
tumblr dot com
trying on a metaphor

Kaledo Art

oozey mess
styofa doing anything

seen from Türkiye
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seen from United States
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seen from Brazil
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@snowybitch1237
Commissions are open
Tumblr demanded to crunch down the quality of the first image, but it should be fine
Feel free to message me on here about anything! All I got set up though is PayPal (and now Venmo)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Imagine if vessels don't stop actually growing and will eventually become wyrm void wyrms that is
possible au ...do you guys see the vision
hollow ofc is the first noodle example
i like noodles
There's wholesome ships and there's toxic ships, but I'd like to coin 'sodium chloride ships', where the individuals involved are both horrible and dangerous people, but somehow being together renders them surprisingly well-adjusted (if a little salty).
The opposite of this is a 'coke and mentos' dynamic, where the two people are generally chill and likeable but being around each other makes them both wild and chaotic.
Here's the breakdown:
Oh... yeah. Yeah, you got me there.
They warned me about the nature of humanity. They told me dog.
the only reason your leg could ever need shaving is if it's getting tattooed amen
for once there's normal people in the notes on a post about leg shaving, keep your joints safe, keep your surgery site clean, keep yourself hydrodynamic to evade predators, and shave tiny patches to show off your sick ink <3
Remember calming cat? Remember when tumblr was this color? If you don’t that’s fine. I just feel old and alone.
You’re never alone. There is always calming cat.
fur mew
Thank you for bringing back calming cat, I had lost the previous bookmark for it!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Guy just walked in with a shirt that said “I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them” and frankly I’m obsessed
Is this even anything?
...
You're fresh out of college and looking for a job. Everyone is hiring. Nobody who's "hiring" is actually hiring. You finally get a call back from somewhere you barely remember applying to (though the voice on the other end sounds synthesized). You pull up the job listing again real quick. The company name and the fact that the listing is for "Minion" are kind of concerning, but you know what, you've interviewed with enough evil corporations by now, you can handle one wearing its true colors on its sleeve. At this point it's a matter of making rent or moving back in with your parents, and as much as you love your family, you can't imagine spending another summer dealing with your brothers' antics. You agree to the interview.
The man who greets you is an enthusiastic older German(?) man who's either way too into cosplay or just that committed to the bit, judging by the lab coat. He made cookies. The tray of cookies is proffered to you by a ten-foot-tall robotic caricature of a 50s businessman. You take a deep breath to calm yourself. You bite into one of the cookies. It's delicious.
You ask the boss about his business model. "Oh you know, a little of this, a little of that, I bounce from project to project a lot." He mentions that his end goal is becoming the undisputed ruler of the surrounding counties. "Really? Not the whole world?" you ask. "I like to set realistic goals," he replies.
As he gives you the tour of his "evil lair," ingrained instincts are screaming at you to report this guy to some kind of authority figure. You remember the salary. You decide that you can always bust him after getting your first paycheck.
The boss asks when you can start. Caught off guard, you say "tomorrow?". Your boss(?) says he'll see you then.
On the way out, you bump into your stepbrother's girlfriend. Your boss introduces her as his daughter. You both silently agree to sidestep the subject for now and act like this is your first time meeting.
You show up to your first day of work. Your boss is putting the finishing touches on a giant machine that was definitely not there yesterday. You are nonplussed. You ask him what it's for and he launches into a convoluted explanation involving his parents always forcing him to put his shirts on backwards so the tag was in front. You think he should probably talk to a therapist.
Your brothers' exotic pet breaks down the wall. You stare at him. He stares at you. Incredulously, you say his name. "Oh, good, you two already know each other!" your boss says. You mention that you used to live with him. "What? Perry the Platypus, you never mentioned having a roommate."
This is what I like to imagine Candace Flynn's life is like, post P&F.
Universal reaction to this post.
Would you rather triple the size of crocodiles, or reduce the size of elk by 1/3rd?
Triple the crocodiles. Natural selection hasn't taken out enough people who don't have the common sense to Not Fuck With Crocodiles.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
'i don't like pairing'
'i hate this fandom'
'i don't want to read noncon/dubcon'
'i don't like 'x/y/z' and i shouldn't have to read it'
'i hate this character'
'i don't want to read explicit stories'
a resolution for you:
This post today is more than twice as old as Tumblr itself was when this post was originally made.
why is tumblr trying to recommend comments to me on the actual posts themselves. i don't want to see what these people r saying i in fact usually go out of my way to avoid just that
fuck okay that has enhanced the original post i'll admit it
What the fuck
telling your online friends "wait there i'm coming" is funny regardless of the distance that you are from them. if they're within driving distance it has the humor of being a real possibility and if they're overseas it's funny because how are you getting there. especially if it's a limited time event. one of my personal favorites is saying i'm walking in their general direction
throwback from the tiktok ban
a beast's nature bare to all

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
It's interesting to compare how the technical limitations of various social media platforms dictate the structures of posts written for them – and, via those structural requirements, what sorts of things can be communicated at all; for example, right now you're reading a post which, while it appears to consist of a full paragraph of text, is in fact a single very long (but technically grammatically correct) sentence, producing a reading experience that wouldn't be possible on a short-form microblogging platform like Twitter or Bluesky owing to the need to split it somewhere in the middle and thus give away the fact that I'm deliberately wasting your time for the sake of a bit.