Obsessions

“What do you mean?” asked her friend.

“I didn’t realize as a young artist, that I wouldn’t only feel joy when a project was done. I wish I did. It was months of work, accompanying every mundane task in thought. Writing this book was the background of my entire life.

I am running on about two hours of sleep and the lady at the drivethru window when I picked up my coffee said I looked SO cute so I'm a bit tired and manic right now BUT!!!! I have a wildly insane headcanon idea

So Ulder Ravengard was first introduced as a part of the Murder in Baldur's Gate adventure, which established the return of Bhaal with the death of Abdel Adrian on Returning Day. He was potentially one of three people who could be Chosen by Bhaal in the coming days, depending on the actions of the players in the adventure, becoming more ruthless with the direction of the Flaming Fist, more paranoid, more bloodthirsty, until eventually the spirit of Bhaal took him and he could become the final boss of the module

(the other two potential Chosen being Rilsa Rael who I always mistake for Nine Fingers Keene (!!) and Lord Torlin Silvershield, the latter being who WotC canon deemed to be the real Chosen)

And I always thought that was a fascinating choice, for Larian to continue on with Ulder and introduce Wyll, who is so good and driven and earnest; I think having that context for Ulder explains a lot about the state of the Flaming Fist as we see them in BG3, because a man that capable of zealotry that he finds common ground with Bhaal would overlook a lot of the bigotry and brutality that's rampant amongst the Fist. That culture of cruelty and violence didn't just spring up in the five minutes since Gortash took over

But I got to thinking. How did Ulder end up like that when he was serving under Abdel Adrian for years? Abdel, who in WotC canon remained good and true and just, who was awkward about his public image, but fundamentally a good man and good leader?

(bear with me, I'm connecting dots again)

Well. Bhaalspawn are naturally drawn to one another, aren't they? What if Ulder isn't just an appealing option for Bhaal - what if he's the unknown descendent of another famous Bhaalspawn from Baldur's Gate, perhaps THE most famous Bhaalspawn...

What I'm saying is, what if Sarevok had a kid he never knew about (Ulder comes from a family of blacksmiths? When Sarevok is famously connected to the Iron Throne and the iron crisis? ) and eventually through three or four generations, we end up with Ulder and Wyll, who retain just a sliver of that potential within them, enough that Ulder can hear the call of Bhaal during the Returning Day crisis

I've never been accused of anything like this, but damn if I don't think about others assuming it every time I go hard in my stories (and mine are pretty tame compared to some things I've read.)

I have written some pretty fucked up stuff.

I AM CURRENTLY writing some pretty fucked up stuff.

Are there elements of me in The Character? Yes. Am I The Character? No.

Oath of Devotion, when it's ready to publish, is going to get dark. It's going to (my intention is) explore and show The Character descending into the darkness of alcoholism, doing some pretty horrible things while she's down there, and then clawing her way back out of it. And The Character is going to hit rock bottom before it's over.

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but what really gets under my skin more than the deliberate mischaracterization of such an intricate and cool character is the fact that sometimes the community literally sacrifices his sense of humor. which astounds me because his sense of humor is what initially made players invested in who he was as a character!

he always has something funny to say— even if it’s only funny to him. he laughs at his own jokes and he gets defensive and butthurt if you make jokes at his expense. he is a hypocrite. he is hilarious.

(Up front context, since Astarion is already a rogue, Miss Fortune as a companion would be a bard (default college of glamour) and their backstory would change slightly. They would’ve been abducted directly from the brothel rather than having recently escaped to work with the thieves guild.)

Miss Fortune can be encountered for the first time in the Emerald Grove up where Alfira is playing her lute. The player will hear “no, no, no, that won’t do!” and “you expect me to dance to this?” while they are walking up the hill. Upon reaching the top, a cut scene will trigger.

Narrator: *You see a half-elf attempting to choreograph a dance while a tiefling plays haltingly on her lute, frequently stopping and starting back up again as the half-elf grows increasingly more frustrated.*

Miss Fortune: Give it here, let me show you again. At this rate we’re never going to be performance-ready!

Alfira: I’m not looking to perform this, it’s just a tribute to my teacher!

Miss Fortune: *strumming the tune Alfira was struggling with perfectly* Sweetie, everything is a performance.  

Narrator: *The half-elf notices you approach out of the corner of their eye. In the instant it takes for them to turn towards you, their facial expression shifts from mild annoyance to exuberance. They push the lute back into Alfira’s hands as they stalk towards you.*

Miss Fortune: Oh my gods, hi! I remember you from that mind flayer ship. I tried to get your attention but I guess it’s hard to stand out when you’re stuck in a pod. I’m Miss Fortune, pleased to make your acquaintance. 

[Player]:

Nice to meet you, I’m [name].

Gods, you’re annoying.

Nice dance moves.

(Note: their next reaction is the same regardless of player’s dialogue choice - yes, even if they call them annoying xD)

Narrator: *They bow with a flourish and then reach out a hand. You take it, and your mind reels as it connects with theirs, your perspective warping. You are the peacock of the Lower City, a performer renowned amongst certain circles of society. A crowded room spins before you, over and over, and you begin to grow dizzy before you dip into another pose; you’re dancing, and the packed audience's attention is rapt. The scene shifts and the sun is just beginning to rise. You’re sitting on a balcony that overlooks the city and you haven't slept a wink. You feel a rush of emotions gripping at your chest and threatening to overwhelm you, your wine glass wobbling in your trembling hand.*

Miss Fortune: Wow, that was so weird. I wonder who that was in whatever vision...daydream thing just happened? *they laugh nervously* Talk about embarrassing for them! Anyway, cutie, what do you say we team up and figure out this tadpole situation? I’m not much of a fighter but I can talk us into or out of any situation you can dream up. I can be very persuasive.

Other companions’ reactions to Miss Fortune joining the party

Astarion: Ugh, a bard? Be careful with that one, darling. There’s nothing but lies and empty flattery behind that pretty face. (projecting much, Astarion?)

Gale: Well, I suppose charm magic has a time and place in battle, and I’m sure Miss Fortune will have no shortage of stories to share around the camp fire. I say they’ll be a welcome addition.

Shadowheart: Miss Fortune is charming, but I do hope they can pull their weight around here. What are they going to do, talk our enemies to death? Hmm, now that I think of it, I’d like to see them try.

Lae’zel: Tsk’va, I hope you know what you’re doing letting that pretty boy join. They don’t look like they can even hold up a sword. I will decorate the ground with their innards if they slow us down.

Wyll: Miss Fortune seems like an agreeable person. I imagine things will be a bit more lively with them around, and I’m looking forward to it. (until Wyll learns what a chaos gremlin they are lol)

Karlach: So you’re letting twinkle toes join our merry little band of heroes, yeah? I like their spark; we could certainly do much worse. In fact, I’m feeling inspired to whack some baddies already!

~~~~~

We are all equal, regardless of who we love or how we identify. What truly matters is striving to be the best version of ourselves.

So the reason I learned how to mod was to be self-indulgent and bring outfits from my fics into the game. And I'm finally able to do that, so what better way to inaugurate it than with my pride and joy, Catch Me If You Can. As one friend put it: "I've bled for this fic" and it will always hold a special place in my heart. Because of this story, I have also made some dear friends, the first of whom was @arafel0194 . Our shared love for noir and '50s fashion was the catalyst for our friendship, so I'm very excited to create this mod as part of a collab with her, who has also taught me everything I know.