Tav: did you know that Wyll thinks we’re dating?
Astarion, sitting on Tav’s lap, arms wrapped around their neck while they cuddle: i wonder where he got that from. we’ve been hiding it super well
Gale, from across the camp: no, you have not.
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The Stonewall Inn
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Not today Justin
EXPECTATIONS

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@randomcontent2019
Tav: did you know that Wyll thinks we’re dating?
Astarion, sitting on Tav’s lap, arms wrapped around their neck while they cuddle: i wonder where he got that from. we’ve been hiding it super well
Gale, from across the camp: no, you have not.

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Astarion: My significant other must be highly intelligent, well coordinated, and skilled with many a weapon-
Tav: *trips over a potted plant and apologizes to it*
Astarion: I want that one.
Gale, midfight: Hey, Astarion. You wanna help?
Astarion, filing his nails: Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to.
(Tav comes back to camp absolutely drunk, undresses, and sits next to the bedroll.)
Astarion: Love, are you coming to bed?
Tav: No thank you. I’m sure you’re great but I have boyfriend.
Tav: (lies on the ground and falls asleep)
Astarion: (stifling a laugh and carrying them to the bedroll)
Astarion: i love the phrase “with all due respect” because it doesn’t specify how much respect is due. could be none. bitch

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Tav: I'd like you to take a moment to think back to a time when you did something stupid, how you were treated, and how you wish you were treated.
Gale: What did you and Astarion do?
Gale: what do you want to eat?
The madness in Durge’s head: the souls of the innocent
Resist-Durge: a bagel
The Madness in Durge’s head:No!
Resist-Durge:…2 bagels
Astarion: What's this?
Tav, hugging Astarion: Affection without leading to sex!
Astarion: Disgusting.
Astarion: ...Do it again.
Halsin: If you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.
Shadowheart: What if it bites me and it dies!?
Lae'zel: Then you’re poisonous. Come on, Shadowheart, learn to listen.
Karlach: What if it bites itself and I die?
Gale: That’s voodoo.
Wyll: What if it bites me and someone else dies?
Shadowheart: That’s correlation, not causation.
Astarion: What if we bite each other, and neither of us die?
Tav: That’s kinky.
Halsin: Oak Father give me strength.
Tav: You have to apologize to Gale.
Astarion: Fine.
Astarion: Unfuck you, or whatever.
Tav: Not like that and you know it

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Gale, sneaking around: Don’t say a word.
Astarion:
Astarion: Fergulous.
Gale: I said no words.
Astarion: Oh, I see. Two weeks ago playing Scrabble, it’s not a word. Now suddenly it is a word because it’s convenient for you.
Gale: Can you please stop calling peanut butter that.
Lae'zel: What’s wrong with “sticky nut juice”?
Gale: Everything! Every fucking thing!!
Whatever. Go my baldurs gate 3 dating quiz that i made like 2 months ago and forgot to post
Gale: This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.
Astarion: Even worse than-
Gale: Let’s not do this.

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Pre-Confession Astarion: You’re so great. I love you.
Tav: What did you say?
Astarion: Nothing. I said ‘you’re so great,’ and then I just stopped talking.
Gale: Can I be frank with you guys?
Astarion: How is changing your bloody name gonna help?!
Karlach: Can i still be Karlach?
Shadowheart: Ssshh... let Frank speak