One million pounds to the writer of this caption in the Guardian please
icyghini twinkie

Monterey Bay Aquarium

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
will byers stan first human second

★
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macklin celebrini has autism
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@calico-w
One million pounds to the writer of this caption in the Guardian please

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so what you're gonna do is you're gonna trim the top off a bulb of garlic, using the knife's edge to take off the tip of every individual clove, that's important. you're gonna place the garlic face-up in a square of tinfoil, drizzle with olive oil, wrap completely in foil, place in baking tray, repeat with a copious amount of garlic bulbs. you're gonna put that baking tray in an oven set to 375-400°F, for 30-50 minutes, until soft and browned. you're gonna toast some good bread, slather generously with butter and honey, maybe a tiny lil bit o' salt. and then. you're gonna SQUEEZE. OUT. THAT. ROASTED GARLIC. onto the butter honey toast. and you're gonna eat it. food stolen directly from the plate of the gods. that's what you're gonna do.
the garlic. it beckons you
It occurs to me that "1920s gangster doing a cooking show while holding you at gunpoint" is an untapped market.
We've had normal cooking shows. Now we need period piece cooking shows in character.
Ilya being born 30 years before Shane, defecting from the USSR to get away from his father and going to Montreal. He's alone and depressed and maybe he isn't as careful as he should be. Maybe it was an accident, maybe it wasn't but now he's haunting his mansion, well actually he's haunting his mother's necklace which is tucked behind a drawer in the master bath.
People don't like living in Ilya’s mansion, they can feel him there. Then along comes young and hungry rising mlh star Shane Hollander, who after billeting his first year jumps at the chance to buy the Ilya Rosanov's old house. The last great player on the Voyageurs, the one whose death led them to a 20 year losing streak that Shane is there to fix.
Shane likes living there, its not creepy no matter what Hayden says. He likes the heavy feeling of eyes on him at all times, it makes it impossible for him to feel like he's disappearing. He likes the feeling of hands brushing against his skin, of phantom lips and teeth, of a big body right behind him at all times, its less lonely. Every night he dreams that Ilya Rozanov forces him to take his cock. Shane just really likes the place, it's got good bones.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
tumblr discourse after 13 years on this fucking website
how‘s the water?
you‘re in it
yeah, but i want to know how you like it

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how it feels to message a friend who's having Problems that you can't do anything to help with.
For anyone wondering, the PhD student's name is Myra Cheng.
Here's a link to an article about the study from the Stanford Report: link.
Across three preregistered studies, participants interacting with sycophantic AI became more convinced of their own rightness and less willing to repair relationships. Yet at the same time, participants rated sycophantic AI models as higher quality, more trustworthy, and more desirable for future use, which may explain why this behavior has persisted despite its harmful impacts.
Myra Cheng et al. "Sycophantic AI decreases prosocial intentions and promotes dependence." Science 391, eaec8352 (2026).
SCREAMING my mom just called out of the blue to be like "hey have you ever read fahrenheit 451?? it's so good!!" and i was surprised she hadn't read it before but we chatted a little about the book and then at one point she goes "yeah i just never got around to it bc i didn't really like star trek" which of course had me going "huh?" followed quickly by "mom. mom do you think gene roddenberry wrote farenheit 451 or that ray bradbury created star trek." and after a veeeeery long silence she says, ".....this would explain some of the tonal differences"
I recently learned an old French euphemism for bisexuality. It means to be powered "by sail and steam," and it absolutely comes from a specific flavor of 19th-century ship.
HMS Terror and Erebus were bisexual, you heard it here first.
Happy Pride!
I just turned to my partner naked in bed after fact checking this post and screeched “DID YOU KNOW” and he looked guilty and said “Well I thought it was one of those things a zillion people had already sent to you…” and I said “they had NOT” and he said “this is a catastrophic failure of man and nature” and I could not agree more
who’s gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?
okay
these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction
Oh.
OH
Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

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in Finland, it is illegal to kill a bear when it’s hibernating. If you ask a hunter why that is, a number of them will tell you it’s wrong simply because it is the law, and they don’t make a distinction between what is right, and what is legal. Most people like that are perfectly normal, decent and respectable people, just like the rest of us.
But if you ask people who think about things, the answer is vague. Killing a hibernating bear would just feel… impolite? You can’t fucking shoot a man when he’s sleeping, that’s just fucking rude. It’s just not the right thing to do.
Long before hunting laws were established in Finland, you couldn’t kill a sleeping bear, and what commands you is something older than law: tradition. Even at a time when hunting was a matter of life and death, and a bear fighting for its life is mainly a matter of death, you just didn’t kill a hibernating bear, you have to wake it up first. Hunters risked their lives, the lives of their brothers and everyone in the hunting party, who were friends, family and men that they loved, to give the bear a fighting chance.
In the modern time, the hunting season of bears is in the summer, for the warmest summer months. There are many reasons for why they are allowed to tread safely in autumn and to sleep in peace through the cold months, almost all of which are rational and scientific, and do not touch the old traditions.
Old faith says a living thing has many souls - henki, luonto, itse. Plants only have one - the one that wills them to grow. Animals have two, both the spark of life and nature that enables them to act. A human being also has the third, one that makes them a person, personality, itse, literally “self”. But the soul that travels in your dreams is not the soul that defines a human - animals have that one as well. When your dog runs in her sleep, her soul is elsewhere, where a dog is needed.
One’s waking soul is elsewhere when they sleep and dream. A bear’s soul is somewhere else when they are hibernating - there are two words for “hibernation” in finnish, one of which is talviuni, “winter sleep”, and that is the one that bears have - and if you kill a sleeping bear, their soul is not in the body, it is still out there, and it can find you, and as a revenge for killing its body, Ghost Bear will kill your entire fucking family.
Only the subtlest metaphors on this Tumblr.
This works as a metaphor for children but also it works perfectly well when played totally straight because horse people are actually like this
it literally took me three solid readings through this to realize that it wasn’t necessarily about horse people, because they are exactly like this
these women did wonders for the “i’m single and i like it that way” community… i’m having a sexy ass life!
Oh my god

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PRACTICE URGE SURFING
Huh, didn't know there was a term for it. This explains why I haven't been drinking as much lately.
my friend's discord server has a "proof of touch grass" channel where they post pics of them doing regular activities outdoors/in public. i think many online spaces could benefit from such a thing
when i was super depressed - like struggling to eat anything barely able to get out of bed to pee depressed - my good friend asked me every day to send her a picture of me holding a leaf and a picture of a meal i was eating and it helped me significantly
(also, she was never judgey - if my meal was a single potato chip she would simply say good job eating a potato chip today <3 )
which is to say, i agree proof of touch grass is a good idea for online spaces
This kinda required my brain a bit