I hate that I’m always trying to find cool biology themed stuff to wear but all the “nature inspired” clothing companies just have like two crossed arrows or a minimalistic mountain on a sweatshirt. Fucking lame, that’s barely even nature-adjacent. Put the life cycle of a salamander on a jacket, put hyena skeleton patterns on leggings, put a damn field guide of birds of prey on a peacoat and THEN you can have my money. Do NOT give me a shirt with a leaf on it that says “stay wild” or some bullshit I would much prefer clothing that broadcasts to everyone around me how many teeth an adult Jaguar has or how some pitcher plants can catch and digest rats.

I think whoever named worcestershire sauce that should have the worst tummy hurty ever

MR. LEA I AM SO FUCKING SORRY

Every time I'm having a bad day I come back to these posts I have a feeling they get funnier every time I see them

The fact y'all are still passing around this post, eight years after I made it. Exquisite. I hope it’s still resonating with people outside of mid-2010’s tumblr.

"I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" I would. Pussy

"Im not gonna sink to their level" I will. Coward

"Im the bigger person" I'm 150cm tall. Give me the gun bitch

its really cool that we discovered glass which is the material that doesnt have any chemical reactions with anything in the universe very useful for doing chemistry due to being able to put things in it to contain chemical reactions and never having it react with the things that are in it due to it being completely and entirely unreactive to every chemical

Posts from a 17th century chymist who's about to have their bones dissolved by hydrofluoric acid.

there is a demon in your house named CARBON MONOXIDE. he enchants your mind with confusion and your body with exhaustion. you need to call a powerful exorcist named HVAC TECHNICIAN

look how mad the portrait is when he pulls it down though

THE BRICKS

#are the bricks a separate sticker or did doof just peel off his own siding  #what a RICH visual gag

Given that the false window has a frame but the real one is just a square I think he bricked over the original window and then cut a square hole in his wall

Amputees continue to be the funniest people on the planet why are the rest of us even trying

'thats probably fine' is my favourite thing to say after seeing something that is incredibly obviously not fine. it is very played out and i will never ever stop doing it