Princess? Honey I’m The Queen Bee

oh, what, so he can get his ass kicked when he inevitably gets raised from the dead?? you want to make great grandpa into a loser? a chump?? if his corpse is going to be puppeteered into battle by a sick and twisted sorcerer then by the nine he is going to do it well

if i bring a book someplace it doesn't necessarily mean i want to read it mayb i just want to take her on a walk. Get her some fresh air and a change of scenery

Happy anniversary to the 2021 Suez Canal obstruction. 23–29 March 2021 were the funniest 6 days and 7 hours we could have ever asked for.

I believe he also now has a library card.

forgive me father for i have opened a notification and read the message within to make the red dot go away and then forgot to reply for a month . it will happen again

In an effort to avoid supporting megacorporations, I shall now be posing questions directly to tumblr that I would otherwise have googled.

If Mayonnaise is just eggs and oil, why it creamy?

Because it's also evil

Yup! It’s anything that takes up space, has mass, and is goth.

You meet god

Whole, in one gulp.

Father of the Muffin Boy

Car's haunted

Slam into a priest in a crosswalk going at least forty miles an hour

into the sky, where it turns into stars

priest has to pay for medical bills related to haunted car crashing into him

....Ah

What a year this week has been.

It’s Monday.

It sure as hell is.

The earlier in the day Monday you reblog the funnier this gets

as a woman in the ozempics era you HAVE to have friends who eat normally (3-4 meals a day, no girl dinner bullshit) and who are always down to going to cafes and eating burguers and fries and stuff, I cannot stress how vital for your mental health it is to have friends with whom you feel free to say you're hungry at any time and with whom you feel free to eat as much as you want

New York is the exact opposite of Minnesota. New York is where the Big Apple is and Minnesota is where Minneapolis