doing some dyke shit

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

I’m so disconnected from penetrative masturbation i’m like why are you guys putting fingers up your own pussy are you judt checking.

could you imagine if it happened this pride month

Passion fruit and the lesser known apathy vegetable

I will probably get through this just like I have gotten through everything before but I need to be really stressed and scared first

call me the twin towers the way her bush has me collapsing😳

AU where the women in straight porn just grunt and say stuff like "take that big pussy, bitch" while the men scream and moan and convulse and arch their backs while shouting "Oh my god! You're wrecking my dick!"

the thing about phone in bed is that it's so awesome. almost makes you feel like betraying & destroying yourself for nothing isn't all so bad

Everyone say thank you women with deep low pitched voices

I was mugged by snow white and the seven dwarves the other day. six dwarves now, I suppose. kneed dipshit or dopey or whatever he was called in the eye socket so hard he died before his limp body hit the ground. they all scattered after that. I'll never forget how they wailed his name

like 2 months ago i saw a single lobster in the grocery store tank that'd somehow lost a rubber band and every other lobster was huddled in the opposite corner of the tank in a big lobster pile (presumably because the freed lobster was an asshole about having a free claw) like. im done with crab in a bucket mentality. You're not even trying to pull everyone else down to get out and climb up yourself, you're just being a dick. Unshackled lobster in a tank mentality