jem is clearly named after his species

i am like the breadloser of the family

apparently youre supposed to perform. they love it when you perform. but it has to be authentic. they hate it when it's not authentic. but you have to perform.

there should be an emoji that’s a person with their hands behind their back silently observing a situation

help me god. ok bye

i know for a fact the field ump at that game can roll a cigarette facing straight forward their performance was not impacted

i still don’t understand what the difference is between a strike and a ball ❤️

the subtle and delicate cuteness of the chickpea

minos was such a pussy. if my wife gave birth to an epic minotaur baby i wouldn't have locked him in a labyrinth. i would have taken him to the mcdonalds play place (athens) every day and let him eat as many stray mcnuggets (athenians) off the floor as he wanted. i love you hungry son

(pulling a painted vase out of my wallet) and this is my youngest at his first nose ring fitting. isn't he handsome