always an angel, never a god

in a hotel room very cautiously removing my clothing slowly and constantly looking around the room shifty and scared as fuck anticipating attacks while a beautiful pair of women sitting side by side on the bed in matching lingerie excitedly but restrained with carefully lowered vioices cheer me on. they say Yes thats it thats how sex works! youre doing it right yeah! youve got it keep going! and im finally down to a sports bra and one tube sock when a car alarm putside startles me and i lunge for the empty handgun on the floor and put it in my mouth while they panic and scramble trying to calm me down petting my hair and cooing gently

Shoutout to weird girls who became weird boys and weird boys who became weird girls and weird girls and boys who became both or neither. Let's all be weird and strange together

you weren't talking too much. you became aware that people were paying attention to you and, because attention has been a scary thing so often, you got worried. this is all okay to do, you're allowed to be worried. everybody reassures you because they either don't understand why you got worried or (like me) because they do. it's okay I promise

Fingering the plot hole

happy pride month dykes i love you dykes

Your persistence is admirable tumblr but even with this godawfully ugly update i can still edit john greens posts. So once again. suck my dick

DJing at the club: put your hands in the air and shake your ass a lil if you love baby animals!!!! everyone go crazy!! do it for the baby animals!!😄

Lays a really mediocre egg that isn't worth much to anybody

It's fine. I'll go.