strange pairs, lieutenant

I was cleaning the kitchen and noticed my roommate left part of an onion on the counter after cooking and for some stupid fucking reason instead of asking about it like a normal person I went to them holding the onion in my hand as if it were an injured bird and asked “what do you desire of his fate”

Heterosexual pride flag

taylor swift would release a 30th special edition of the tortured poets department to block the vampire lestats spot on the billboard chart and within 24 hrs travis kelce would go missing

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

can you people stop reblogging this my notes look like lunchtime

all gambling advertising should be illegal

same goes for weight loss and alcohol and credit cards and vapes and crypto and medicine and religion and. all adverts should be illegal.