This happens all the time…

what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

the best thing about being alive on earth is that sometimes there is a kitty

our idiotic ancestors used to believe stuff that's not true but luckily we've now figured out all the true things to believe in

do you prefer your coffee rebecca black or with rebecca sugar

woke deadbeat father: i'm just going to get some oat milk

Children would be so jealous if they knew how many stickers we have in dive bar bathrooms

they should add green to the transgender pride flag to represent hustlers+money

accidentally wrote “never mill yourself” like yeah i don’t think anyone would do that unless they’re wheat or perhaps a rice

has anyone considered that it was probably her house too. where else was she supposed to put her chintz?