screaming about cronkri

“And then I felt chills in my bones The breath I saw was not my own I knew my skin that wrapped my frame Wasn’t made to play this game”

-giving ur friends the same information over and over because u forgot u ever gave it to them

-opening up a new text post only to forget what u were going 2 say

-never changing a wall calendar/needing to look up what day of the week something will be

-literally not being able to remember what happened yesterday/an hour ago/five minutes ago

-forgetting where ur going/what ur doing in the middle of doing it

-flipping through the beginning of a book because u forgot some characters and plot development

-making a typo, make a mental note to fix it, get up to do something, keep typing without fixing the typo

-”haha ur memory cant be THAT bad”

-it can be

-reminding urself 2 do something but u forget

-writing reminders, forgetting that u wrote a reminder/forgetting what was on the reminder/forgetting where u put the reminder

-”just put something in ur room out of place before u go 2 sleep” and ur room has so much shit on the floor u wouldnt even be able 2 tell whats out of place

-alternately: doing the above and then forgetting what it was supposed to remind u of

-did that happen or was i dreaming

don’t like me

liked me at one point, but don’t like me anymore

hate what i post

hate what i have to say about xyz topic

find me annoying

don’t have anything in common with me anymore, and are bored by the things i post

feel obligated by whatever personal reason you may have to keep following me, even if literally any of those above things apply

it’s okay if you can’t speedpaint like the people on youtube do

it’s okay if it takes you longer than an hour to finish a piece

it’s okay if it takes you longer than a week to finish a piece

it’s okay if it takes you longer than a month to finish a piece

it’s okay to take however long you need to finish a piece

it’s okay to never finish a piece (unless someone commissioned u and u got money for it. then u need to pick it up, but communicating with the person you’re working with is always better than not! 9 times out of 10, they’ll be understanding)

it’s okay if your art gets 5 notes

it’s okay if your art gets 1 note

it’s okay if your art gets 0 notes

it’s okay if you paint on thousands of layers

it’s okay if you paint on one layer

it’s okay if it takes you hours on one part of the picture to get it to look right

it’s okay if you spend more time or less time on certain parts of the piece than on others

it’s okay if you draw lots of fanart

it’s okay if you draw just for fun

So I got bullied for years and even when the bullying turned violent it was ignored for awhile still

it’s been a month and things get….. smelly. the kids’ eyes water when they are in karkat’s five foot radius. terezi hasn’t been seen in weeks. karkat is panicking and asking himself if he did something wrong? why is she avoiding him?? truth is karkat’s smell makes her smellovision go MIA and beg for a mercy killing really she just has to preserve her health

finally somebody speaks up and it’s rose. she tries a very gentle approach

“Karkat, full offense but you fucking stink! You are a safety hazard, I saw a carapacian fainting as you passed through the other day! It may come as a surprise to you but clothes need to be washed!”

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT AREN’T THE GOD PAJAMAS SELF-CLEANING”

“What. No! Who told you that?”

cut to dave as he abruptly stops hastily gesturing behind karkat when the troll turns around to shoot daggers at him

Depersonalisation

Common: ‘I felt strange / weird’, ‘I felt as if I was floating away’, ‘I felt disembodied / disconnected / detached / far away from myself’, ‘apart from everything’, ‘in a place of my own / alone’, ‘like I was there but not there’, ’I could see and hear everything but couldn’t respond’

Less Common: ‘puppet-like’, ‘robot-like’, ‘acting a part’, ‘I couldn’t feel any pain’ ‘like I was made of cardboard’,  ‘I felt like I was just a head stuck on a body’, ‘like a spectator looking at myself on TV’, ‘an out of body experience’, ‘my hands or feet felt smaller / bigger’. ‘when I touched things it didn’t feel like me touching them’

Derealisation

‘My surroundings seemed unreal / far away’, ‘I felt spaced out’, ‘It was like looking at the world through a veil or glass’, ‘I felt cut off or distant from the immediate surroundings’, ‘objects appeared diminished in size /  flat / dream-like / cartoon like / artificial / unsolid’ Other dissociative symptoms 

Memory: “I drove the car home/got dressed/had dinner but can’t remember anything about it”, “I don’t know who I am or how I got here” (fugue state), “I remember things but it doesn’t feel like it was me that was there”. 

Identity: “I feel like I’m two separate people/someone else”. 

Other: “I felt like time was passing incredibly slowly/quickly”, “I get so absorbed in fantasy/a TV programme that it seems real”, “I felt an emptiness in my head as if I was not having any thoughts at all”.