Hello! I'm Siri (she/her). Welcome to my blog! I write Chris Evans characters x Fem!Reader fanfic, with a little monster loving fic thrown in. So pull up a chair, have your backup panties on standby, and settle in for some shameless hoeing đ
đJoin my birthday bash, August 15-18đ
Access my masterlist here.
â Mercy 6 (Jake Jensen x F!Reader)
â Give & Take Drabbles (Steve Rogers x F!Reader)*
â Broken Home (Frank Adler x F!Reader x Nick Vaughan)
â The Full Birthday Experience (Steve Rogers x F!Reader)
â A Soft Touch (Andy Barber x F!Reader)
â Security Enabled (Steve Rogers x F!Reader)
â Down Time (Curtis Everett x F!Reader)
â Unwelcome (Ari Levinson x F!Reader)
â Happy Birthday (Curtis Everett x F!Reader)
â Uninhibited (Curtis Everett x F!Reader)
*This work is a short riff, drabble, or hoe thought vs a longer oneshot or series chapter.
â Please do not serial like my work. I put so much time, energy, and love into my writing, and itâs super disheartening and demotivating to watch people breeze through my entire masterlist without dropping a single comment or reblog. Do your part to help our community thrive: support writers and their hard work that you enjoy for free! If you struggle with what to say when commenting/reblogging, check out this post. Just a simple comment or reblog with feedback goes such a long way to keep writers inspired and excited to write and post more! Itâs a win win.
â Requests are closed, however I am happy to riff and answer questions about my stories, the CE!babes, and monsters, but please do not send me asks about medical conditions or health issues, I find that content triggering.
â I do NOT give permission for any of my work to be reposted, translated, published to any other sites or platforms beyond my Tumblr, or fed into AI machines. If you see my work elsewhere, it has been stolen, so please let me know. Thank you đđ»
â Please do not pressure me for fic updates or status check ins. I do not write on a schedule, nor do I adhere to deadlines because it sucks all the fun out of writing for me. I write my stories when I have the time, energy, and inspiration.
â I no longer do tag lists. Instead you can follow my side blog @sirisshamelesshoelibraryâ and turn on notifications. I only reblog new writings there so itâs easy to keep track of new stories, drabbles, etc.
â Am I spamming you? If you want to filter my reblog responses, you can filter the tag âsiri writes replyâ so Iâm not clogging up your feed with my love and appreciation for my readers.
â Writing resources: Need some writing tips? Check out this writing resources masterlist! Â
â Fic & writer recs: Check out my fic & writer recs masterlist!
â A hoeâs gotta hoe. Go on and ruin your panties with dem filthy fics, and be absolutely shameless about it! Love you! đ
P.S. Wanna learn more about the Shameless Hoe HQ wet dream team? Read this! đ
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.
Warnings:Â this fic will include dark content such as noncon/dubcon, age gap, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: you meet a new friend as you start a new hobby, but they arenât the only one interested in you. (best friendâs dad)
Characters: nomad!Steve Rogers
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. Iâm trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I havenât forgotten those!) Please do not just put âmoreâ. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. đ
You lay awake for most of the night. Thereâs moments when your thoughts fade and you sink into a sort of daze but each time youâre near the point of sleep, you start. You roll over in another bout of restlessness and nearly scream.
Saralieâs eyes are open and her fine features brighten in a smile as her blond lashes flick. âMorning!â She chirps.
âUm⊠hi, uh, morning,â your voice is crisp from the dry air of the AC.
âI have an idea.â She breathes in delight.
You blink. âWhat time is it?â
She giggles and sits up. She looks tiny in her oversized shirt. You can guess by the baseball team logo that itâs likely one of her dadâs handmedowns. You push yourself up and suppress a groan as your head swims.
âItâs morning.â She shrugs and wiggles on her knees. âUm,â she taps her pointer fingers together. âDo you work today?â
âNo, itâs my day off.â
âNice! I meanâŠâ She tilts her head one way then the other. âAre you⊠busy?â
You shake your head.
âGood. Good. Do you remember I said dad just put in a pool?â
âI thinkâŠâ
âWe should go swimming! Have a pool party.â She claps. âWonât that be fun?â
âOh, sure, I guess if itâs⊠okay?â
âSure it will be!â She bounces and turns around, hopping off the bed.
You clear your gritty throat. âUm, I donât⊠have a swimsuit.â
âAll good. We need to go get supplies so Iâm sure dad will let me borrow the car.â She sits at her vanity with the fur trimmed mirror and grabs a brush with a vintage wooden engraving in the back. She runs it through her flaxen hair. âHowâd you sleep?â
You shift to the edge of the bed and contemplate the steep drop. âOkay.â You lie.
âI dreamt of dragons! Must be all that map making,â she sweeps back her long locks. âDid you dream of anything?â
âNot really.â You say, though you wonder if maybe what happened was actually a dream. It was just so strange.
âRight, well, do you drink coffee like Dad? Cause he has a bunch and Iâm sure you can figure out how to make it.â She offers.
âOh thatâs okay.â You defer. âReally, I donât want to impose.â
âImpose? Youâre my friend! Whatâs mine is yours. Or whatever.â She trills. âPeter just goes ahead and plays with all my stuff. No questions. He broke my Robin Hood figure, actually.â
âOhâŠâ
âAll good. He fixed it.â She puts the brush down. âSo⊠I canât wait! Pool party! And maybe Iâll make more Unicorn Juice. Itâs great with ice in the sun.â
âHm, maybe, yeah.â You agree gently as you slide down off the bed. âOr maybe some iced tea?â
đŠ
You sit on one of the tall stools along the kitchen island. Before you thereâs a collection of coloured gel pens littered across the wooden surface and a notepad with items written in every shade of neon. Saralie pops the cap back on an aqua hue and sticks her tongue out.
âI totally forgot my new purse!â She bounces. âBe right back.â
âSure, Iâll be⊠here.â You twiddle your fingers on the island as she skitters out of the room.
You sit in the silence of the kitchen. You wiggle your foot against the bar of the stool and look around. You could probably fit most of your apartment in just this one room.
âMmph,â the deep groan startles you as Steve enters, dragging his hands over his beard. He drops his arms and stops short as he sees you. You stiffen in your seat. âMm⊠Morning,â he grits out.
âMorning,â you murmur and pull your hands off the island and cross your arms.
He nods and glances around awkwardly. He goes to the counter and puts his back to you. He grips the edge, tapping his thick fingertips, before he makes up his mind. You watch the strain of the cotton between his broad shoulders as he reaches to open a cupboard.
âYou like coffee?â He asks over his shoulder, giving a glimpse of his profile.
âErm, you donât have toââ
âIâm making a pot.â He insists and pulls out the canister. âSo if you do, help yourself.â
He sidles along as he goes about measuring the grounds into a wet filter and slipping it into a pourover urn. Before he pours the water, he sets the small eggs timer and waits. You squirm, trying to think of any reason to leave him to his morning ritual.
âGot it! Isn't it so cuteeeee!â Saralie squeals as she enters and shows off a purse in the shape of a tea pot. Oh, wouldnât it be so awesome if you got the tea cup one and we could be like twins?â
âSure,â you force a smile.
âMorning, Sara.â Steve says sternly over his shoulder.
âSara? Oof, whatâd I do now?â She chuckles.
He harrumphs and sets down the kettle. He turns and braces his hips, a gesture that bulges in his biceps and chest. âYouâre up early.â
âSo are you,â she sticks out her tongue.
He narrows his eyes. She grins and angles her head coyly.
âWe had a great idea!â She chimes. âPool party!â
âA pool party?â He echoes and his eyes skim between her and you. You chafe in your seat.
âWell, you put it in for a reason, didnât you?â She retorts. âWeâre just going to go grab some floaties. Oh and her swim suit.â
âYou are?â He challenges.
âDad. Daddy.â She pouts. He shakes his head.
âDad is fine.â He sniffs.
âCaptain!â She salutes mockingly. âCan I pretty please borrow the car today? Promise weâll be so quick.â
He stares at her and his cheek dimples. His face softens. âI got nowhere. Just make sure you wear your glasses.â
âFine!â She rolls her eyes.
He nods and drops his hands. He turns around and swirls the urn of coffee then grabs a mug to pour. He smells the nutty scent of the blend as he faces you again.
âItâs good coffee if I do say so myself. I finally perfected the ratio.â He lifts the cup ever so slightly. âHelp yourself.â
âThanks, dad!â Saralie beams then hops up to the island. âThis is going to be so awesome! EEEE!â She claps and you glimpse Steve behind her as he looks back just as he gets to the door. He seems protective of her. Or suspicious of you. Maybe both.
đŠ
You canât remember the last time you used your swimsuit. Youâre surprised you havenât thrown it away. Itâs an old black and white one-piece with nothing really special about it. You shove it into a reusable shopping bag with a pair of beat-up flip flops and hurry out before you run into any of your roommates.
As you pull the car handle, the door doesnât release. You peer inside as Saralie clings to the steering wheel and stares in the other direction. You gently tap on the window and she jumps. She looks at you and smiles, waving frantically before she unlocks the door.
You get in and cradle the bag on your lap. As you do up your seatbelt, the safety censor chiming at you, she looks back in the same direction as before. You lean forward to try to find what has her attention.
âAre you okay?â You ask.
âMhmm,â she sits back and shifts into drive. âItâs only⊠there was a man. He looked like he needed help. He was allâŠdazed or something.â
You chew your cheek as she makes a u-turn and steers back down the street. You shift awkwardly. âMm, thereâs a few people around here⊠you know, they do need help but nothing we can do for them.â
âWhat do you mean?â She asks as she flips her glasses up and squints at the road.
You watch her for a minute then sigh. âYou know, drugs and stuff.â
Her brows pop up and her mouth falls open. âOh⊠I didnâtâŠâ
âItâs fine. I donât know. Thereâs shelter around the next street or something.â You grumble. âItâs⊠sad.â
âYeah,â she agrees.
Youâre quiet for a while after that. You can sense her thinking and see the sadness in her face. It takes a moment to realise she isnât slowing down at some shopping plaza, rather in front of a row of townhouses.
âSaralie, are you alright?â You ask.
âIâm good. I just⊠wish people like that could get help.â She says wispily.
âMe too,â you say. âBut you canât fix every problem.â
âYeahâŠâ she trails off.
Something thumps on the side of the car and you both jolt in surprise. You look over as a young guy stands outside, smirking. Saralie brightens up and rolls down the window, just an inch.
âSorry, we donât need a car wash.â
âLeeLee, come on,â the guy says. âItâs hot as Mordor out here.â
He has a sheen of sweat on his forehead, a head of thick reddish brown curls, and sports a beachy shirt with palm fronds printed on the thin fabric. His sunglasses have bright red frames and he has a back pack hooked over one shoulder.
âWhatâs the password?â She taunts.
âLet me in or Iâll tell Mr. Rogers about your detour last monthââ
âOh, blackmail? Pete, I thought we were friends.â She scoffs.
He shakes his head and laughs. She unlocks the door and he climbs in the back. He drops his bag beside him.
âDonât call me Pete. It reminds me of Bucky. Heâs scary.â The guy says. âThis must be the new party member.â
âOh, yeah! Peter this isâŠâ Saralie introduces you.
âHi,â you wave as Peter winks at you.
âSorry, I couldnât say anything in front of dad.â She says as she pulls off. âHeâs not easy so early in the morning. With him, better to ask forgiveness.â
âAh, right,â you sit straight and try to hide your discomfort. Your parents never hesitated to tell you no. Not even in front of guests.
âWeâre still going shopping,â she assures.
âYeah, no problem.â You rub your palms together, as you have a flash of the night before. The danger in Steveâs tone and grip.
âItâs gonna be awesome. We can brainstorm the campaign.â Peter says.
âSo are you going to be goblin?â Saralie taunts.
âWill you be my goblin queen?â Peter hurls back.
They laugh but you canât even smile. Youâre the third wheel. Again.
đŠ
Youâre vigilant as you get back to Saralieâs house. The three of you sneak through the house with the haul from the shopping centre. You recall Steve said he had a security system; he can probably see the pathetic attempt at stealth on some camera.
You go out to the backyard and unpack. Saralie strategises as you and Peter work on blowing up the unicorn floatie she chose and the shark he picked. You got the alligator that was on clearance and did your best to cover the red sale tag.
âYouâre not making that dumpster juice again, are you?â Peter asks as he pinches the plastic tube to keep the air in.
âUnicorn juice.â She corrects. âAnd no, Iâm going to make grog. Itâs on them. Pineapple juice, marshmallows, gummy bears, lime soda, and cherry syrup.â
âThat sounds like a nightmare.â Peter says and goes back to inflating.
âIt sounds like yumminess.â She trills.
She lifts the bag, barely able to get it off the ground, and she lumbers towards the sliding doors.
âYou need help?â You offer.
âAll good! Iâll be back with drinks and snacks.â
You nod and go back to getting the unicorn blown up. As you puff through the tube, your eyes wander around the yard. Itâs lovely and trimmed and green. You try not to be jealous, you suppose only covetous. Youâd love to live somewhere like this.
Your eyes float over to the house and something shifts in one of the windows. You canât see much as the sun reflects off the glass. The shadow disappears and the streaks of light sting your eyes.
You look down and try to shake off the tension. Maybe Steve saw you. And Peter. It doesnât matter if itâs then or later. You just know that Saralieâs white lie isnât so little. As nice as her dad can be, youâve seen how cold he can be.
âIn conditions of uncertainty, humans, like other animals, herd together for protection.â - James Surowiecki
Previous Part
Warnings: Original Work (Science Fiction), Aliens, implied Abduction, Captivity, Dark Themes, Power Imbalance, Dubious Consent (Touching, Voyeurism), Slow Burn, Misplaced Anger/Aggression, Protective Behavior, Only One Bed. Minors do not interact (18+).
Follow @foxglovefics and sign up for notifications for when I post if you wanna be in the know.
Please DO NOT click âKeep Readingâ if you are not 18+ years of age or if you are uncomfortable with the pairing, themes, dynamics, or warnings. You are responsible for your own media consumption. Thank you!
Log Date 53499Willow5
Subjects stabilizing companionship. No outbursts or conflicts observed. Biometric data balanced with signs of pheromonal compatibility. No mating behaviors. Further enrichment introduced to enclosure.
You stare at Kurt. Your eyes narrow. Thereâs no way. He canât.
âDo you have any fives?â
âGoddamnit,â you huff under your breath, handing the cards over the table.
A small smirk quirks at his lips before vanishingâsmug asshole. Heâs wiping the floor with you. You can never win. Not checkers, not hangman, not go fish. Heâs good at every game you come up with.
âDonât pout like that,â he gruffs, tucking the cards into his hand and putting all four on the table in a pile. âYouâre cute. It doesnât suit you.â
You swallow. Shifting in your seat, you shuffle the cards in your hands. Trying to focus on the numbers. Not the way his comment plucks at something longing inside you. The next one you need to make a setâthatâs what matters. Your eyes flick up to Kurt, his attention solely on you. His brow quirks.
âDo you have any sevens?â you ask.
Before he can respond, a loud bang rattles the window. You jump.
A creature stands outside, their voice garbled as they gesture with long appendages. Their teeth gnash with saliva. All the while, they continue to pound on the glass.
Your eyes dart over the surface, sure the force will be enough to cause cracks. Your pulse pounds in your ears, in time with each strike. You start to lean away, bracing for the moment when the alien will break through.
Kurtâs cards scatter over the table. His solid form shielding you as he steps in front. Widening his stance, his arms hang at his sides. His fists clench and unclench readying for action. Yet you still peek around him.
âI hope he doesnât try to get one,â you mutter under your breath.
âWhat?â Kurtâs asks, glancing over his shoulder with a bewildered pinch to his expression.
The keeper door hisses open. Virion glides into your habitat, their hand gesturing for calm. Your alien walks toward the window as others of their kind intervene without.
Are you alright?
âWeâre fine,â you direct toward Virion as they stand between you both and the scene outside. âAre they going to be able to, you know?â
Kurt shoots you another searching look, his brow furrowed.
Virionâs head swings from one side to the other. You breathe in relief. Your head nods in acknowledgment. The thought of some human unknowingly sent to live with that kind ofâŠfervor. A shudder quakes down your spine.
Virion approaches. Their hand lifting. And you just know that they aim to place it upon your head and stroke over your hair. To offer comfort.
But before they can get too close, Kurt blocks the way. âYou can leave.â
Virion stops short, staring down at Kurt with an indecipherable expression. Cool and calm ever present but rigid. Their gaze finds you, still seated at your table. Cards flicking and shuffling in your hands.
Does he speak for you?
They blink slow as they wait for your response. Hand cradled against their chest, ready to extend once again for the contact you expect.
You drop the cards, stand, and tug on Kurt. He steps aside. His jaw tics, a heavy breath flaring his nostrils. He doesnât step far. His shoulder stays in your way.
âThey probably need to make sure weâre calm now,â you say under your breath to him. âLet them perform their checks and then they can go. Theyâre just doing their job.â
âYeah,â he huffs in response, arms crossing over his chest and bulging his muscles. A quick look cast over his shoulder toward you. âKeeping us here. Making us a spectacle.â His eyes narrow in a glare. âTheyâre not fucking touching me.â
Your lips part. Not for breath but in searching for something more to say. Any placation for Kurt gone with an exhale. Youâre blank.
May I inspect you?
You turn your gaze back to Virion. Your alien holds out their hand.
Kurt growls in the back of his throat. A grumbling comment he spits out, âit would be better if they just left us alone.â
You hesitate with that statement, mulling it over in your mind. Would it? Without the interaction with Virion, would it be better?
You skirt around the man who would be your protector. Strong resolve in the answer formed in your mindâno.
Your hand finds Virionâs. They guide you a distance away, toward the glass. Kurt stays planted in place, glower affixed just as firmly.
Have you told him about our connection?
Their hand lifts to your head. A brush of it over your hair. A cooed praise that rolls in their throat. Chirps and chittering words follow. You donât think youâll ever understand them. Though you find you donât mind. Your head shakes back and forth in response. Their gaze brightens.
We would like to perform an attachment test soon. Would you be willing to comply?
âWhatâre they saying?â Kurt asks with a huff.
You ignore both. Thoughts snagging on the phrasingâattachment test. Attachment to whom?
You nod regardless. Trepidation pulses in your chest. Virion wonât go far. Theyâll come back eventually. Itâs just a test. Or maybe Kurt? You wouldnât want to be here alone. Not again. Itâs been so nice to have constant companyâno matter how surly he may be.
Three cycles. Will that be enough time?
Your lips part without an answer. Because what does that mean? Three days for what? The test? To prepare? Though Virion has never been very transparent with explanations, questions buzz through your head. But then they coo something soft, a treat offered in their fingers.
You accept. Mouth full as you reply, âI guess.â
âHow do you know what theyâre saying?â Kurt calls over, his eyes narrowed and flashing between the two of you. âThey teach you their language?â
âNot exactly,â you reply with a hum, glancing toward him in your periphery. âItâs likeââ
Stop.
You trip over the thought. Virion chitters something, tilting your head back toward them.
He will not understand.
âWhatâs happening?â Kurt asks, finally making his move. His hand wraps around your wrist, a tug drawing you away from your keeper. âWhatâre they doing?â His voice drops low, only for you to hear.
You canât figure out what to say. How to explain with Virion on one side and Kurt on the other.
Your brow tilts. Kurtâs glare landing solely on your alien. His lips lifting in distaste.
Kurtâs teeth click. âYou done here?â The subtlest of shifts placing him between you and Virion.
Virionâs eyes narrow. The closest youâve ever seen a reaction akin to outright displeasure. They step back and retreat toward the door without another glance.
âWhy do you act like that?â you ask, letting space fill between you and Kurt. âTheyâve only ever been kind to me.â
âExcept for kidnapping you and placing you in their zoo, you mean?â Kurt bites back. âI donât trust them.â
A flare of irritation fills you with fiery heat. It licks at your belly as you retort, âwell, what else do we have?â You gesture to the enclosure around you. âThereâs no way out. Weâre here whether we like it or not. We might as well make the best of it.â
Kurt doesnât respond. The sharpness of his stare cutting as he sizes you up in a new light. He huffs and turns, leaving you to wander through the trees of your space. Lost among the branches until youâre alone.
You turn back toward the window. The crowd gathers without. You sit and watch them pass, tears blurring your vision.
ONCE AGAIN, I DID NOT SEE THIS POST. DUMBLR IS SO BEYOND IDIOTIC đĄ
Biometric data balanced with signs of pheromonal compatibility.
đ
Kurtâs cards scatter over the table. His solid form shielding you as he steps in front. Widening his stance, his arms hang at his sides. His fists clench and unclench readying for action.
đ„șđđ»đđ» I love how protective he is đ„č
You canât figure out what to say. How to explain with Virion on one side and Kurt on the other.
Oh me, oh my, it sure is getting tense in here đ€
Ohhhh I do wonder if Kurt has enough fire for the both of them. Reader has given up in her naive way. And I really do wonder, if she had to choose, would it be Virion or Kurt? Thereâs the more tenured connection with Virion, and theyâre such a source of comfort, to the point it seems to blind her of the fact theyâve orchestrated all of this đŹ But Kurt being so protective is đźâđšđ„Ž
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
And no worries, the theme of this event seems to be we are all going over the maximum wordcount, myself concluded đ€Ł I probably wonât even have one next time bwahaha.
Canât wait to see what you create! Thank you for participating â€ïž
Pairing: Frank Adler x Fem!Reader x Nick Vaughan
Word Count: 3,217
Summary: Youâre struggling in the aftermath of being caught by Omega Control; Nickâs trying his best to smooth things over with Frank; and Frank? Heâs trying like hell to avoid each and every one of his alpha instincts.Â
Warnings: A/B/O. Eventual M/F/M. Omegaverse elements like scenting, mates, designations, etc. Pet parallels. Widower!Frank. Reference to growing up in foster care and being unhoused. Omega Control (like Animal Control). Angst. Grief and lashing out because of it. Omega being re-traumatized and going through it. Nick is the sweetest, softest boi.Â
A/N: Oh em geeee, it has been far too long since we last saw this trio! I think because their story is so angsty, it can be hard for me to be in the right headspace to write it, but they were recently voted the second story yâall wanted to see most, so I got it done, just for you. I hope you enjoy! â€ïž
Pound Town Masterlist
âTableâs set,â Nick said as he came up behind you.Â
You were standing over the stove, finishing up the side dishes to go along with the roasted chicken that was thankfully perfectly cooked and keeping warm in the oven.
âIt smells amazing,â Nick murmured as he slid his arms around you and pressed against your back. He kissed your cheek, giving you a soft smile when you turned to meet his gaze.Â
âReally? You know Iâm not great at this kind of stuff, but I really wanted to show Frank what it could be like ifâŠâ you faltered, swallowing thickly then taking a breath as Nick pressed another kiss to your cheek. âIf he gave us a chance.â
âYouâre much better at cooking than you think,â Nick assured you. âAnd it really does look and smell and taste amazing.âÂ
âTaste?â you echoed, giving him a half-hearted glare. âDid you sneak tastes when I was trying to find placemats for the table?â
âI definitely did,â he grinned. âThose mashed potatoes? Well, let's just say youâre lucky I love you, otherwise Iâd hoard them all for myself.â
Your inner omega chirped happily at your betaâs praiseâespecially for something so homemaker-y, which you knew wasnât exactly a strength of yours. It was probably one of your biggest insecurities actually, especially when it came to finding an alpha.Â
But you were trying. You were trying so hard.Â
You really wanted everything to be perfect for when Frank arrived home from work.Â
It was the very least he deserved for saving you from Omega Control, from being shipped off to a breeder and God knows what kind of misery and abuse would have awaited you then.Â
Surely nothing you havenât already experienced in foster care, a mean little voice spoke up in the back of your mind.Â
You closed your eyes against the onslaught of memories that stirred up. At the vivid intrusive thoughts that played against the back of your eyelids at what could have happened if youâd been torn away from Nick, from Frank, from the life you had worked so hard to live as freely and happily as possible.Â
You had been so close to losing it all.Â
And you still werenât convinced you hadnât already lost Frank, for good.Â
âOmega?â
The sound of Nickâs concerned voice had you surfacing from the swirl of anxiety filling your head, and you blinked your eyes open, trying to muster a smile for him.Â
It had been a really long time since you felt this anxious, this helpless. But you had to shove it all down. All of it.Â
You had to finish this perfect dinner for Frank and welcome him home like a perfect omega would andâ
The sound of the front door opening and the jangle of keys being tossed on the entryway table had you perking up in alarm. Your eyes flew to the clock above the stove and you gasped, âOh my god! I didnât realize how late it was! Heâs home! Oh myââ
Your words faded away as Nick framed your face between his hand and tugged you in for a brief, soft kiss.Â
âItâs all amazing, and so are you,â he whispered, giving you a soft smile before pulling away.Â
A moment later, Frankâs tall figure appeared in the kitchen doorway. His brow was furrowed, his eyes wary as he glanced from the three places settings at the dining table, to you standing over the stove in an apron you had found in the back of the front closet along with the linens that now adorned the table.Â
âWhy are you wearing that?â Frank snapped, his face darkening in a way that made you whine and stumble back a step. Â
âWhat?â You glanced down at the apron. âI-I didnât want to make a messââ
âThat isnât yours. Take it off!â Frank snarled, stalking toward you.Â
âHey, Frank, calm down,â Nickâs voice was as soothing and careful as ever as he stepped in front of you, holding up his hands in the universal gesture of meaning no harm.Â
âItâs not hers! ItâsâŠâ Frankâs voice broke, his eyes gleaming with a wild kind of grief as he stared at you, then at the apron, like he was gutted.
And you realized that he was, and then why.
Horror dawned at your misstepâat what you had unintentionally doneâunearthing something that had belonged to his late wife.Â
âOh god,â you quavered, quickly untying the apron and slipping it off. You folded it carefully, respectfully, your tears already spilling over as you held it out to Frank with trembling fingers. âFrank, Iâm so sorry, I didnât mean to. I didnât realize.â
âHey, letâs all just take a deep breath and calm down,â Nick encouraged, shifting sideways so he could give you a gentle look. âYou didnât know. It was an honest mistake.â He turned back to Frank, who was holding the apron between his hands with the look of utmost sorrow clouding his features. âFrank, she was just trying to do something nice for you. Spent all day cooking a really great dinnerââ
âI didnât fucking ask for any of this,â Frank rasped, shaking his head as he crumbled the apron between his hands. âI didnât ask for this!â he held it up, his eyes wet with unshed tears and his face flushed in anger, in heartbreak. âI didnât ask for this!â he swept a hand toward the stove covered in steaming pots as the delicious aroma of the meal you had worked so hard on all day filled the air.Â
âFrank,â you wobbled, unsure of what to say but knowing you felt as devastated as he looked.Â
He shook his head, jaw clenching. âI canât⊠do this. I canât. I wonât. I wonât.â
And then he turned on his heel and stormed from the kitchen, leaving you and Nick staring after him, utterly devastated for an entirely different reason.
A couple of hours later, Nick tentatively eased open the door leading from the kitchen to the garage.Â
He heard soft clinking sounds, and the low hum of classic rock playing from a beat up stereo set on the corner of Frankâs work table.Â
The man himself was ducked under the hood of a fully restored 1967 Mustang Fastback. It was royal blue with white rally stripes, and it was gorgeous enough to have Nick whistling before he could really think better of it.Â
Frank went rigid, easing away from the carâs engine that didnât really need any work, but it was just his way to keep himself busy, to keep his mind quiet when he needed it most, to hide.
âWhat do you want?â Frank grunted, looking tense as his grease-stained fingers twitched at his sides.Â
âNothing, just thought Iâd bring you one of these.â Nick held up a beer in each hand, one for him and one for Frank.Â
Frankâs eyes landed on the proffered beer and lingered long enough that Nick exhaled in relief. He moved closer, a soft, hopeful smile curling his lips as he held out the beer to Frank.Â
After a long, tense moment, Frank swiped the bottle from Nickâs grip, taking a long pull before turning away and ducking back under the hood of his car.Â
âI know you donât want us here,â Nick murmured, inching closer before taking a tentative seat on a nearby crate. âIâm sorry that weâre encroaching on your space, on your homeââ
âItâs not a home,â Frank said sharply before taking another gulp of his beer. âIt hasnât been a home for a long time. I donât do homes, not anymore.â
âRight,â Nick breathed, his features softening, looking so very, very sad for the rigid alpha standing a few feet away.Â
Frank turned to set his beer aside to free up his hand and caught the way Nick was looking at him. âDonât do that.â
âWhat?â
âDonât pity me. I donât want your pity.â
âItâs not pity, Frank. Itâs empathy.â
âI donât want that either,â Frank gritted, moving to grab a wrench from the toolbox placed on the mobile cart between them. He pointed it at Nick, his eyes hard. âDonât fucking feel sorry for me.â
âI donât,â Nick said earnestly. âI feel sorry for what you went through, and Iâm sorry for⊠for all of this. How messy it all turned out. You deserve better, so much betterââ
âChrist, can you just be quiet?â Frank scoffed.Â
Nick snapped his mouth shut, his gaze falling to the floor as he took a small sip from his beer. He was trying so hard to smooth things overâfor you, for himself, too, and for Frank.Â
He so desperately wanted to see the potential that you had so joyfully spoken about for the past few months.Â
All three of you had been through so much in different ways, and it was poetic, in a sense, that the Universe had brought you all together.Â
He just knew that if Frank would let some of that emotional armor crumble, if you two could just get through to himâearn his forgivenessâthere was a chance that this could be something special.Â
The three of you, you could be a pack.Â
You could be each otherâs home.
âHand me that grease rag behind you,â Frank muttered, making Nick sit up at attention.Â
Blinking in surprise, that Frank had not only asked him for something but hadnât kicked him out yet either, Nick twisted to the workbench behind him, plucking said grease rag from the surface and holding it out to Frank.Â
Frankâs eyes met his for a brief secondâenough for Nick to feel the spark of something between themâand if the way Frank quickly looked away and his shoulders tensed was any indicator, the alpha had felt it, too.Â
Suppressing a soft smile, Nick watched Frank work, familiar with what he was tinkering with since he was the one who maintained your van. And before Frank could reach for the next tool he needed, Nick had scooped it up and had it held out.Â
Again, Frankâs eyes found the betaâs, some of the icy glint fading into something elseâcurioristy, perhaps. A touch of confusion, too, and just the tiniest, tiniest glimmer of what could have been admiration.Â
Regardless, whatever it was, it had Nickâs belly swooping and his chest fluttering with a tentative kind of hope.Â
The next morning, Frank was intent on getting out of the house to head to work before either you or Nick emerged from the guest room you were sharing. But as he went to pass by said guest room, the sound of your sharp, raised voice made him pause.Â
Frowning, because he had never heard you sound so irritated, Frank hovered just outside the door, which was cracked open, listening in on the conversation between you and Nick.Â
âPlease,â your voice was softer this time as you took a deep breath and let it out slowly. âJust, stop.âÂ
âIâm not trying to upset you,â Nick swore as he crouched before where you were curled up on the window seat overlooking the side yard. âIâm just worried. Youâre having nightmares againââ
âSo?â you challenged, your features set and stubborn as you met his gaze.Â
Nick sighed. âYou havenât had nightmares like this in a really long time.âÂ
âItâs nothing,â you insisted, feeling more tired than even Nick knew. âIâm fine.â
Nickâs touch was so painfully gentle as he held your hand, his thumb trailing back and forth over your knuckles. âItâs okay if youâre not, considering everything youâve been through.â
âIâm fine,â you repeated, your exhaustion seeping into your voice now as you tried so hard to blink back the tears gathering.Â
Nickâs hold on your hand shifted, until he was guiding your palm to the center of his chest, where you could feel the steady rhythm of his heart beating beneath your touch. He leaned into you more fully, his free hand lifting to cradle the side of your face, making your gaze meet his.Â
âYou havenât told me anything about what happened at Omega Control,â he looked pained by this, his eyes flickering between yours, looking more worried than you had ever seen, so much so that you couldnât hold his gaze any longer and looked away instead. âUsually you tell me everything.â
âI donât want to talk about it. I donât want to think about it ever again,â you whispered, turning away from Nick and curling in on yourself as you fixed your gaze outsideâboth yearning to be out there but terrified of being caught again. âWe should keep the past in the past.â
At the sound of Nickâs disappointed sigh, Frank eased away from the door, frowning at the way you had echoed his own words to you, about keeping the past in the past.Â
Because everything inside of himâespecially his inner alpha who was listlessly hovering beneath the surface, yearning to comfort you, to get to know Nick moreâwas telling him that you needed to talk about what happened. That it wasnât a weightâor fearâthat you should carry on your own.Â
Frank watched as his hand moved toward the doorknob, trembling slightly. Every rusty caretaker instinct inside of him was screaming at him to walk through that door, sweep you up against his chest, and soothe you with his alpha purr until you felt safe enough to tell him and Nick what had happened.Â
It would be so easy. All he had to do was press the door open, make his presence known, and just⊠allow things to go from there.Â
But instead, Frank took a step away from the door, then another, until he was jogging down the steps, swiping up his keys and briefcase from the entryway table, and shoving outside into the bright morning sunshine.Â
And the whole time he walked to his car, he thought the same thing over and overâthat it wasnât his place to take care of you, to protect you, that you had Nick for that.Â
You didnât need him.
You didnât.
It was nearly midnight once Frank finally returned home. He was exhausted, and had spent the hours after work at his favorite dive bar, nursing a couple of beers and eating bad frozen appetizers for dinner when all he really wanted was to go home.Â
But after this morning, what he had almost doneâŠwhat he had wanted to doâŠ
It felt safer to just stay away.Â
So it was like some kind of twisted, cosmic joke, that as soon as Frank stepped inside the house, he was instantly enveloped in your sweet, addictive omega scent.Â
Only there was a sour note to your divine smell, one that instantly had Frank as alert as his inner alpha.Â
Because that sour scent meant that you were distressedâterrified.Â
Before he realized what he was doing, Frank was dashing into the living room, only to pull up short. He wasnât sure what he had expected to findâbut it wasnât you curled up on the sofa, asleep and visibly trembling as you whimpered at whatever nightmare had you caught in its dark web.
A beat later, Frank registered the distant sound of the shower running, which explained why you were by yourself in this state, and why Nick wasnât there to soothe you.Â
But you so obviously needed soothing in this moment as you gave a choked sob, your features twisting in the utmost distress as you curled in on yourself tighter.Â
Frank was across the room in three long strides, before he even realized he was moving.Â
The need to calm you was like a visceral thing rippling over every inch of himâclawing at him from the inside outâand it was all he could focus on as he knelt on the floor beside you and tentatively reached out to touch the crown of your head.Â
âShhh, omega,â Frank rumbled, his voice the softest it had been with you in weeks as he gently caressed your hair. âYouâre okay. Youâre safe.â
This close now, Frank could see the glimmer of tear-tracks along your cheeks, how tense your body was as you laid in the fetal position and tried to make yourself as small as possible.Â
Frank murmured your name, hesitating for a second before he held his wrist gland beneath your nose so you could breathe in his alpha scent. âYouâre okay, sweetheart. Youâre okay now.â
You shuddered hard, your brows furrowing in your sleep, a soft whimper falling from your lips as you shifted and pressed your nose against Frankâs wrist without even knowing it. You were just desperately seeking the sudden source of your comfortâof the familiarâof something, no, someone who made you feel safe.Â
âThere you go,â Frank praised softly, resuming his pets along your head as he watched your body go lax and the rigid tension slowly ease from your frame. âSuch a good omega.âÂ
Frankâs voice broke, his breath shaky as he watched you sleep, as he really looked at you for the first time in weeksâsince everything had happened.Â
You looked so tired, and so small.Â
So vulnerable.Â
And it made him ache. It made him want. It made him yearn. It made all of his instinctsâboth man and alphaâstir up and rise within him in a way that terrified him.Â
Because he never thought he would feel this way again.Â
Frank never thought that he would care about someone so deeply again.Â
In fact, he had tried so fucking hard to avoid it at all costs, because he knew what it felt like to lose it all. To lose the person you loved most. To lose the future you had been so hopeful for. To lose your entire family, your home, everything that made you who were in one awful, tragic fell swoop.Â
Heâd had it allâthe love, the future, the life, the home. And he was supposed to protect them at all costs.  Â
And he had failed.Â
He had failed as a man, as an alphaâas a husband and as a soon-to-be father. Frank had failed in a way that still haunted his every waking moment five years later.Â
So when he looked at you, when he felt what he felt for you, when he got caught in Nickâs soft, warm gaze and wanted to stay thereâit terrified him in a way that made him want to turn his back on it allâon everything.Â
But he couldnât find it in himself to do that right now.Â
Not when you clung to his wrist in your sleep and a quiet chirp spilled past your lips. Not when the sour note faded from your scent and was replaced by the warm, spicy tones of your contentment and relief.Â
All Frank could do was watch you, convinced that in this moment, he was the only thing keeping your nightmares at bay, and that was enough for his protective instinct to override his sheer panic.Â
It was enough to have the rest of the world fade away as he focused on soothing you into a peaceful sleep, completely unaware that Nick stood in the doorway, having witnessed this entire tender, protective display.
And finally getting to see with his own eyes the kind of alpha that Frank Adler could be, and why you were so completely taken with him.
OH EM GEEEEE. Iâm kind of in emotional shambles right now, ngl. This story feels so messy lol, but Iâm also kind of in love with it anyway. I just want them all to be happy and loved đ„ș
â
Please take a moment to comment or reblog. It means a lot to hear from my readers after sharing a story that I put so much love into. Serial liking without engagement is the quickest way to kill my writing motivation, so please donât do that. It only takes a moment to show a little love. Thank you đđ»
I no longer do tag lists, but if you'd like to be notified when I post new writing, follow my side blog @âsirisshamelesshoelibraryâ and turn on notifications to get pinged when I drop some new hoe fuel đ
Please note that I do not give permission for my work to be translated, reposted, or published anywhere other than my Tumblr. I also do not give permission for my work to be fed into AI platforms. Reblogs are most welcome and encouraged though! â€ïž
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Fem!Reader
Word Count: 7,380
Summary: You continue to experience new things post captivity, and your relationship with Ransom begins to change.
Warnings: Explicit language. References to wild self-destructive behavior, shitty family, captivity and abuse, emotional abuse, and bad parenting/grandparenting. Lots of kissing. Discussions of birth control. Implied virgin!Reader. Reference to past abuse via belt whipping, but nothing is shown. A hint of PTSD. Oral sex (f receiving). Praise kink. Vaginal fingering. Hand job. Cum eating. Unprotected sex. Fluff. Soft!Ransom. Feeeels.Â
A/N: You guyssssss, sweet lord, I love these two SO MUCH. Also, the time to cum has come đ Enjoy!! And please drop me some feedback once you finish reading - it makes my whole day! Or hole day, I suppose. ::ba dum tss::
SERIES MASTERLIST
It wasn't unusual for you to be sitting close by.Â
Not even when Ransom was watching TV, like he was now, since you had slowly come around to the device. Although it no longer triggered or frightened you, your preference for entertainmentâespecially togetherâ remained books.
So no, it wasn't unusual for you to be sitting close by, but what was unusual was the way that you suddenlyâand without warningâstarted to pet Ransom's hair.
He froze, his eyes going wide as he ever so slowly turned your way, as not to startle you.
When you became aware that you and your petting had gained Ransom's attention, you stilled, your own eyes going big as you stared back at him, like you yourself were just now realizing what you were doing, and to him.
You got that shy, flustered look on your face as your hand immediately fell away and your eyes dropped as you sank back on your haunches beside him.
Ransom grinned, dipping his face as he touched a finger beneath your chin and lifted your own. When your gazes reunited, he quirked a brow in silent question.
"Soft," you explained, glancing at his hair, your fingers twitching in your lap like you were itching to run them through those glossy locks once more.
It was slow, the way the wicked grin unfurled across his lips, amusement sparkling in Ransom's gaze as he drawled, âHow about you stroke something hard now?âÂ
As he expected, his innuendo was completely lost on you, despite weeks and weeks of hot and heavy makeout sessions that had become Ransom's new preferred method of entertainment.
"What?" you asked innocently.
Chuckling, he shook his head, letting the subject drop as he watched you. "I don't mind, you know." At your questioning look, he elaborated, "I don't mind you touching my hair. It felt nice."
"Oh," you smiled excitedly, hedging closer. And then your hand shot out again, your touch so carefulâalmost reverentâas you raked your fingers through his hair. "So pretty." Your eyes shifted from Ransom's hair to his handsome face. "You're so pretty."
"Right back at you, kitten," Ransom purred, his eyes fluttering as he sank back in his seat, enjoying the way you were playing with his hair.
A moment later, when you moved closer and hesitantly straddled his lap, he enjoyed that, too.
Your fingers fell from Ransom's hair and down his neck, trailing along his skin, your eyes still big and awe-filled, like you couldn't quite believe that you got to be this close and touch him like this.
He just watched your gentle explorations, his hands gravitating to your hips and gripping. His fingers played along the hem of your sweater until they could slip underneath and finally touch your warm, bare skin.
"Kiss?" you asked on a breathy whisper, your face already closing in as your eyes flickered to his.Â
"C'mere," Ransom murmured, cradling the back of your head and reeling you in.Â
He sighed against your lips, feeling more at peace than he ever had before with your flavor on his tongue and your body pressed flush to his.Â
Distantly, Ransom was aware of the way your fingers returned to his hair, gripping more than petting now as you squirmed in his lap and tried your best to keep up with every eager press of his lips against your own.
If someone would have told him that just weeks ago had been the very first time you had ever kissed someone, he wouldn't have believed it, because now?Â
Now you were a pro.Â
Somehow, you had picked up on every trick he knew, and then some. Ransom had a feeling it was your shameless enthusiasm and curiosity to learn what felt goodâwhat made him feel goodâmore than anything.
And he reveled in it.
In fact, Ransom had never enjoyed kissing more in his life, and he knew it was because it was with you.
Like now, when his tongue pressed past the seam of your lips and you moaned in surprise, he groaned, his free hand sliding up your back and yanking you right up against his chest as he kissed you with the kind of desperate fervor he had never felt before.
Ransom had just started to rut up against youâhis body craving more from youâswallowing your sweet, eager sounds as you instinctively rocked against his lap in return when a quiet throat clearing had you both freezing.
Sighing, Ransom pulled away, smiling at your glazed look and gently touching your cheek before looking over your shoulder to where Savannah was watching the two of you with a disapproving look, despite the fact that this was hardly the first time that she had caught you and Ransom making out.
There was a long moment of awkward silence before Ransom snapped, "Well? Did you need something, or were you just enjoying the show?"
"No, be nice," you whisper!wailed at him, tucking your face against his neck to hide from Savannah's gaze.
The older woman couldn't resist a smile at that, growing fonder of you by the day, as she sighed before saying, "Mr. Jennings is pulling around the car for the young miss' appointment. Will you be accompanying us into town?"
"Yeah," Ransom replied, stroking your back as he frowned at the thought of you going into town for the first time without him. "We'll finish getting ready and be out front soon."
"Yes, sir," Savannah nodded, giving you both a lingering look before turning on her heel and retreating to the kitchen.
Ransom waited until he was sure that she was long gone before he spoke, murmuring against your ear, "You okay, kitten?"
You nodded against him before popping your head up, looking a little less dazed than before. "Kissing isn't bad?"
Ransom's smile was soft. "No, kissing isn't bad."
"Feels bad sometimes," you told him, playing with the collar of his sweater as your eyes fell away. "I don't like her seeing."
"That's because some kisses, and other stuff, are private, but it's not bad."
"Okay," you glanced up at him, your lips curling. "Some kisses?"
Ransom's lips twitched. "Yeah, some kisses are just sweet and innocent, like you. Like this." He kissed the tip of your nose, grinning as you giggled. "And this." He stole a quick peck from your lips. "And some kisses, some kisses are just for us," he purred.
He shifted beneath you, smoothing his hands up your sides until you were shivering and squirming for him just as his lips touched yours. Ransom gave you a more thorough kiss, the kind that had you whining against his lips and clutching his shoulders, pouting as he pulled away.Â
"See the difference?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.
You nodded, your lips parted and kiss-swollen as you blinked at his mouth before meeting his gaze. "I really like kissing."
"I really like kissing you," Ransom countered, booping your nose and making you laugh. He sighed, sitting up as he said, "Come on, we gotta go into town for your doctorâs appointment and then we can go out to lunch, how's that sound?"
"Good!" you chirped, excitedly scrambling off of his lap. "I'll go get my shoes and coat!"Â
And then you were off, scurrying upstairs and leaving Ransom smiling after you like a dope as the taste of your sweet lips still lingered on his tongue.
You exited the doctor's office pouting and cradling your arm, which was more numb than sore at this point, but still felt strange. Your countenance brightened immediately as Ransom rose from a nearby bench where he'd been waiting for you.Â
"Everything go okay?" he asked, shifting his weight as he glanced between you and Savannah.
You nodded, smiling a little as Savannah gave you a fond squeeze.Â
"All is well, sir. The doctor had no concerns to speak of."Â
She gave you a warm smile, which you returned, grateful that she had come inside with you, as strangers still made you nervous, even though you knew doctors were supposed to help take care of you.Â
Some of the tension immediately eased from Ransom's form, and you went to him out of instinct, to comfort his obvious concern and also because you were still feeling uncomfortable from your shot and vulnerable from your exam and conversation with the doctor.
Ransom's arms immediately embraced you, and he pressed a kiss to the top of your head as you burrowed against his chest. "You okay, kitten?"
You nodded, frowning up at him as you continued to cradle your arm. "Feels weird."
His brows furrowed. "What feels weird?" His narrowed gaze shot to Savannah. "I thought you said everything was fine."
The older woman clasped her hands in front of her, looking uncomfortable. "It is, sir. She justâŠgot a birth control implant. Her arm will be numb for a couple of hours and then may be sore for a day or two, but all is well."
Ransom's eyes widened, his eyebrows shooting up to his hairline as he stuttered, "Oh. Uh. Okay. Girl stuff. Got it."
"Relationship stuff, I would say," Savannah said, giving him a challenging look. Â
âSo this whole thing was your idea?â Ransom glowered at her. "I think you need to remember your place."
Savannah's mouth dropped open in offense, her hands falling to her hips. "It's clear the girl has very few people who take her best interests to heart. I only wanted to encourage her to think ahead and be safe, all things considered.â She gave Ransom a pointed look. âI was looking out for her, the same way I would one of my own."
"Does she even understand what you talked her into?"
"I didn't talk her into anything," Savannah insisted. âI just wanted to make sure that she understood what she was getting herself into and the possible consequences of your combined actions.â
Before Ransom could respond, you spoke up, loudly. "I understand," you said, frowning between Ransom and Savannah.Â
His features immediately softened when you began to smooth the furrow on his brow with your pointer finger.Â
"I understand," you whispered to him. "I'm not stupid."
"Hey," Ransom gently grasped your shoulders and ducked close, so your eyes were level with his and you could read the earnestness in his gaze when he vehemently told you, "I do not think you're stupid. You're so smart, and I witness it every day. I just want to make sure you're not being talked into anything you don't want to do."
"I wanted it, to be safe, just in case," you murmured, gently touching your arm. "I don'tâŠI don't want to be bad like my mother. I don't want that."
At the shine of tears building in your eyes, Ransom nodded, giving you a smile as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. "Okay, whatever you want. You made the right decision for you. You did so well."
When you sank against his chest for a hug, Ransom gave you a squeeze, his gaze flickering to Savannah, who was watching you both with an expression torn between softness and concern. Clearing his throat, he quickly returned his attention to you. Â
"How about a little shopping before lunch?"
You smiled at his offer, plastering yourself to his side as he led you down the main street in the center of town.
There weren't too many people out, but there were enough for you to bounce between wariness and curiosity as you watched a mother with a stroller go by, and an older couple slowly walk together arm in arm.
Ransom pointed out the different stores, explaining what they were, but it wasn't until you came upon a jewelry store, and the beautifully arranged display window sparkling in the sunlight, that you showed any real interest in your surroundings.Â
"So pretty!" you gasped, breaking away from Ransom's side to move closer to the storefront.
Your eyes were big as you pressed your hands to the window, gazing down at all the elegant pieces twinkling up at you. There were so many of them! Various gems and stones, metals too, and you didn't know what most of the materials were, just that they were lovely and you had never seen anything so pretty in your life.
Well, except for Ransom.
"Do you want to go inside?" he asked.
You glanced up at him, then to the window display and beyond, spying quite a few people in the small shop as an old man stood behind a counter and spoke with a couple.
Swallowing nervously at the thought of being surrounded by so many strangers, you eyed the jewelry in the window one final time before shaking your head and reaching for Ransom's hand.Â
"No thank you," you smiled up at him.Â
"Are you sure?"Â
You nodded, grinning as your stomach growled. "Can we have lunch now?"Â
"Yeah, of course," he smiled, glancing behind you both to where Savannah patiently waited. "Any suggestions?"
Her eyes flickered between the two of you, lingering on you before she spoke, "There's a nice, small restaurant at the end of the block that shouldn't be too crowded this time of day."
Ransom nodded, gesturing for her to lead the way as he corralled you against him with his other arm.Â
Soon you were tucked into a booth at the back of the restaurant, which thankfully wasn't very crowded at all. Savannah sat across from you, shooting you a smile whenever your gaze met hers, and beside you sat Ransom.Â
He held a menu between you both, reading and explaining the dishes to you as you bounced in your seat, eager to eat.
Once you all settled on your meals, he gestured for your waitress so you could order, and you were delighted to dig into the complimentary bread basket she left behind once she departed.
"Still warm!" you told Ransom, holding out a piece of bread for him.
He smiled, taking it and popping it into his mouth. He chewed and swallowed, then opened his mouth to reply but paused as his cell phone began to buzz. Sighing, he pulled it from his back pocket, rolling his eyes as he glanced down at the screen.Â
"I need to take this," he muttered, giving your back a rub before he slid from the booth and hurried outside.
You stared after him, watching him pace along the sidewalkâlooking agitatedâas he spoke on the phone, and then your gaze returned to the bread basket. You slowly reached for another piece, glancing at Savannah shyly.
"It's good, isn't it?" she smiled, pushing the bread basket your way.Â
"So good!" you chirped, nabbing another piece.
She watched you for a moment, her gaze flickering to Ransomâstill outside on his phoneâbefore returning to you. Leaning in closer across the table, she kept her voice low as she spoke.Â
"Miss, I know it's not my place, but you don't seem to have many folks looking out for you, and I justâŠI want to encourage you to be careful with Mr. Drysdale."
You straightened in your seat, finishing chewing your food before asking. "Ransom?"
Savannah nodded. "I know he's very kind to you, and you've known him since you were children, but he's changed a lot since then. He's known forâŠgetting into trouble, and I would hate to see you get hurt."
You frowned, dropping your hands into your lap as you began to anxiously fiddle with the hem of your sweater.
You knew that Ransom had been sent here because his parents thought he was bad, but you didn't actually know why they thought that.Â
However, you did know that Ransom was so good to you, and he took care of you.Â
He cared about you, you know he did, just like you cared about him.
"He wouldn't hurt me," you replied at last, your gaze wary as you eyed Savannah. "He's myâŠfriend."
You frowned at that word, that descriptor for Ransom that suddenly fell flat.
That didn't feel right anymore.
Ransom felt like so much more than your friend.
He felt likeâ
"Alright, miss," Savannah relented, holding up her hands in a gesture of surrender. Her smile was small, but genuine as she watched you. "Forgive me, I was only trying to help. Just know that if you need anything, I'm here and I'm happy to help."
You nodded slowly, still feeling wary and confused but mustering a smile nonetheless. "Okay, thank you."
Picking at the bread on your little serving plate, you pressed another piece into your mouth, perking up in your seat as you spotted Ransom making his way back to your table.
When he slid back into his seat beside you, shooting you a small grin and smoothing his hand up your back, you forgot Savannah's warning altogether as you snuggled close to his side and offered him another piece of your bread.Â
It had been weeks since your outing with Ransom and Savannah.Â
Weeks since the older woman's gentle warning and your realization that things had shifted between you and Ransom.Â
In the rare, stray moments when you were left to your own devicesâusually late at night as you lay in bed, waiting for sleepâyou struggled with trying to put a name to what Ransom was to you.
You coveted his friendship so much, you had since you were a little girl.
And even more so these last few months as he welcomed you into his own home and took care of you like no one else ever had in your life.
But you knew that what you had with Ransom was more than a friendship.Â
All the kisses and the touching and the desire - you wanted him so much more than was appropriate for a friend.
Ransom wasn't just your friend anymore, he was your everything.
And he was making you feel so good right now as you squirmed beneath him on the sofa, gasping and clutching at his muscular back as he kissed a trail down your throat, his big body gently rutting against yours.
The manor was dim and quiet this late at night, you and Ransom the only two occupants, free to enjoy some private time together that you craved more and more with each passing day.
It was addictive, the way Ransom made you feel, the way he could so masterfully work you over, eliciting so many differentâand excitingâsensations from your body with just the press of his lips or the squeeze of his big, strong hands.
You never knew until now that it was possible to feel this good.
To want so much.
But you did.Â
You wanted more from Ransom, you wanted everything, and you wanted to give yourself to him completely.
"You okay, kitten? You're quieter than usual." Ransom's voice was low and smoky, the way it always got when the two of you indulged in this type of activity for a good, long while.
You shivered, your insides clenching hard as you hugged him close and nodded.Â
"Do you wanna stop?" Ransom asked, smoothing a hand over the crown of your head as his face hovered over yours.
You watched him for a long moment, once again finding yourself distracted by how gorgeous he was. You couldn't help it as your hand lifted and your fingers gently traced all along his features: the perfectly straight arch of his nose, his sharp jawline, those pillowy pink lips.
"I want more," you whispered at last, giving voice to the carnal cravingâthe deep, wanting acheâthat was consuming you.
You weren't even completely sure what more was at this point, you just knew that despite how good Ransom was making you feel, it wasn't enough.Â
Your body was throbbing and desperate for whatever came next.
"Fuck," he breathed, dropping his forehead to yours and swallowing hard. "You have no idea how long it's been for me."
You stroked his hair as he just laid against you for a moment, unable to help it as your body squirmed and gently writhed beneath him, pressing against the sharp jut of his erection that was nestled against your belly.
You loved knowing thatâhis excitement and desireâwas because of you, that you were making him feel so good that he was overcome and needed a moment to collect himself.
Groaning at the friction your squirming created, Ransom pressed up over you, gazing down at you for a beat. His eyes were so dark they were nearly black, his lips cherry pink and kiss-swollen, and his soft hair flopping over his forehead.
"You're beautiful," you whispered your thought aloud, touching the pads of your fingers to his bottom lip.
"And you're so fucking sweet," he hummed, dipping close and kissing you with the kind of feral passion that had you panting and staring up at him with wide eyes once he pulled away. "M'gonna take such good care of you, kitten. Gonna make it so good for you, gonna make you feel so fucking good."
"Yes, please."
Ransom all but vaulted to his feet, grabbing your hands and tugging you up against him so enthusiasticallyâand with such a boyish grin curling his lipsâthat you couldn't help but giggle.Â
Moments later you were upstairs in his bedroom, not resisting one bit as Ransom slowly undressed you, until he had you down to your t-shirt and panties and was gently guiding you to lay back on his bed.
He was still dressed in his jeans and sweater as he stretched out over you, pressing his forearm to the mattress above your head as he ducked impossibly close and kissed you slowly.
When you whimpered, desperate for breath, he relented, his lips retreating from yours and instead blazing a hot, open-mouthed trail down your throat. Ransom shifted over you, guiding your body beneath his, until you were on your belly and gazing over your shoulder at him with big eyes.Â
Smiling, he stole a kiss from your parted lips, his hand giving your ass a firm grope before he was rising to his feet.
You watched as Ransom yanked off his sweater and flung it aside, your eyes going rounder at the reveal of his naked torso.Â
His shoulders were broad and rounded, his chest wide and pale and peppered with dark, wiry hair, and the muscles of his stomach were taut and flexing as his big hands dropped and started working open his belt.
The metal clink of his belt was like ice water being dumped over your head, washing away your desire in an instant and replacing it with a wave of dread so strong that you couldn't help but turn away and bury your face in the covers, terrified.Â
Because you knew what that sound meant.
You were a bad girl, after all.Â
It was like you were suddenly back in the small, dirty shed all over again. Poppy looming over youâangry and hatefulâhis belt twining around his hands and he prepared to deliver a world of painâ
But the gentlest press of lips against the exposed small of your back had you gasping sharply in surprise, your mind returning to the present and some of the dread-infused tension easing from your frame as Ransom slowly rucked up your shirt, kissing each new inch of revealed skin as he went.Â
Ransom stopped suddenly, and you felt him shift over you, his hand a warm press to your back as he realized, "You're shaking."
You were, and you couldn't find the words to respond and explain why as you trembled beneath him, sniffling into the blankets as a few stray tears streaked down your cheeks.
"Are you okay?" Ransom's voice was laced with concern, his hand smoothing up your back and taking your shirt with it as he told you, "We can stop if youâŠjesus!"
His exclamation had you peeking over your shoulder at him, finding him staring down at your back in horror. You shivered as his fingers gently traced over the mess of scars that littered your skin.
Ransom swallowed, his sorrowful gaze finding yours as he asked, "Your family did this to you?"
"Poppy did," you whispered. "When I was bad."
"You're never bad," Ransom said vehemently, his face twisting with anger that you knew wasn't for you. "Let alone bad enough to deserve this. You're so good," he murmured, dipping low and pressing a kiss to your marred back, then another. "You're so beautiful. So sweet. You're mine."
"Yes, yours," you echoed, your chest fluttering with happiness at his declaration.Â
You sank into the mattress beneath you and fisted the covers as that wanting buzz began to overtake you once more, all the fear and memories from earlier fading far, far away with each new press of Ransom's lips to your skin.Â
"Always yours," you whispered on a dreamy sigh.
When Ransom's lips reached your shoulders, he nuzzled close, pressing a kiss to your cheek. "Tell me if you want to stop, or if you don't like something, okay? I just want you to feel good."
"Okay," you whispered, peeking at him from your periphery and smiling as he pressed another kiss to your cheek.
Soon, Ransom had you both naked as he guided you onto your back, his hands and lips mapping every inch of your skin that they could reach and lingering each and every time he found a spot that evoked a noise from you, or an eager rock of your hips or a beautiful arch of your back.
When his mouth reached your breasts and lingered, taking its time to lave along your nipples and suck them into little peaks, you whined in carnal delight, your core clenching hard as you felt more seep flow from your cunt.
Humming in victory at your reaction, Ransom doubled down on mouthing and kissing along your breasts, kneading them in his hands as you writhed beneath him, whimpering at the onslaught of pleasure wreaking blissful havoc on your body.
"Please!" you begged, not really sure what you were asking for, just knowing that your body felt like it was right on the edge of something you couldn't quite reach on your own.Â
"I've got you, sweetheart," Ransom murmured, leaning up just long enough to grant you a sultry, lingering kiss before his mouth was back to working along your body, trailing down, down, down.
You shuddered at the sight of him settling between your legs, his lips lingering just below your belly button as he gazed up at you with eyes so dark and desirous that you felt another flood of juices seep from your center.
When Ransom nuzzled at the very top of your mound, you whined, instinctually spreading your legs wider in invitation as you tried to scoot closer to him. "Ransom, please. Please."
You reached for him, your fingers just able to sift through his hair and trail down his cheek. His eyes were so soft as he leaned into your touch before turning his face and kissing the pads of your fingers.Â
Then his laser focus returned to the soft, wet place between your thighs.
âTime to feel good, my sweet, little kitten. Wanna kiss you here," he rumbled, thumbing up your slit, his touch lingering and circling along the little nub crowning your pussy and making your body jolt like you'd been electrocuted. "Is that okay with you?"
"Yes!" you replied, breathless and nearly mindless with need, squirming some more as you whined. "Yes, please. Anything. Anything you want."
The slow smile that unfurled across Ransom's lips was wolfish and pleased, with a hint of that boyish excitement from earlier that had your tummy swooping in a way unrelated to your desperate desire.
And all you could do was stare down your naked, trembling body to where Ransom was settled between your legs, his big hands smoothing up your inner thighs and spreading you open even wider for him.Â
You watched as his dark gaze dropped, his tongue sneaking out to wet his bottom lip as he groaned, and then he was ducking close and dragging his tongue up the cut of you.
Your back bowed as you gave a wordless cry of shocked delight, your eyes so big and startled at how good it feltâhow pleasantly naughty tooâas Ransom tongued along your folds once more.
You couldn't keep still at the onslaught of his mouth, especially once he tugged up the hood of your clit and started lapping at your sensitive little nub, each stroke of his tongue drawing a quiet keen from between your lips.
Laughing as you thrashed and bucked against him, Ransom dropped a heavy arm over your hips to keep you in place, his fingers tugging your folds apart so he could watch the latest wave of your arousal pool at your pretty, clenching hole.
"Feels good, doesn't it?" he cooed at you, dragging his thumb up your slit and circling your clit until you were moaning and sagging back against the bed, dazed.
"So good," you panted, gasping as Ransom rewarded you with another firm, slow drag of his tongue up your cunt. "Oh. Good, so good. More! More, please."
You could feel him laugh against your center as you just started chanting "please," and he gave you exactly what you wanted, his mouth eagerlyâand expertlyâworking along your cunt until your toes were curling and you were giving sweet little cries as you rutted against his face.Â
"Come on, kitten, let go for me, sweetheart," Ransom rasped, sucking at your clit as he eased a finger into your fluttering cunt. "Let it feel good, you deserve it."
You moaned, your head so blissfully foggy as Ransom's finger began to move inside of you, dragging back and forth against your velvety walls and making your insides tighten more and more with each sinful caress.
When his mouth returned to your clit just as he slid a second finger inside of you, you sobbed, feeling all of the exquisite, dueling sensations building up inside of you finally reach their peak.Â
You gave a sharp, wordless cry of ecstasy as pleasure burst inside of you before flooding through every inch of your body.
It was like your body went wild, your muscles locking then releasing over and over again, wracking you with each and every wave of your release as you distantly registered Ransom's gravelly voice talking you through it.Â
"There you go, such a good girl, look at you, kitten," he murmured, smoothing a hand up your quivering belly before catching your fingers with his and giving you something to hold onto as you rode the waves of your release. "You're so pretty when you cum, sweetheart."
When your body finally came down from its high, sagging back against the covers, you whimpered, breathless and overwhelmed as you dazedly blinked up at the ceiling.Â
Ransom's handsome, flushed face moved into your line of sight as he stretched out over you, smiling with a smug gleam in his eye at your glassy, debauched state.
"You doing okay there?" he asked, laughing as you immediately reached for him and yanked him down against you for a hug.
When he realized that you were sniffling, he pulled away enough to see your face, frowning as he swiped away a few stray tears from your warm cheek.Â
"Hey, I didn't hurt you, did I?"
You shook your head, burying your face against his chest, your words muffled as you replied, "So good, just a lot."
Shifting until he was stretched out beside you and tugging you close, Ransom pressed kisses all along the crown of your head.Â
"You did so well for me, kitten." Another kiss. "Letting me take care of you like that." He nuzzled along your temple. "Love seeing you feel so good. Love making you feel that good."
Shivering, you snuggled closer to Ransom, pressing a kiss to his collar bone to show him without words that you were okay and appreciated him. Your lips quirked as you heard him chuckle before he was raining down another wave of kisses all along your head.
After a while, you realized that despite the innocent way in which Ransom's hand was smoothing up and down your back, his hips were gently rocking against you, pressing his hard length into your belly.
You shifted, your curiosity getting the better of you as you tentatively reached for him. You paused just before you touched him, tipping your face up to find Ransom watching you with a look so feral and wanting that you clenched around nothing, distantly wishing for Ransom's fingers to fill you up again.
"I can touch?"
"Fuck yeah you can," Ransom immediately replied.Â
You laughed, feeling shy as you trailed your fingers along the smooth, hot length of him. When Ransom jerked and moaned in response, your wide eyes shot up to him, noting the way his nostrils flared and his jaw clenched, like he was holding himself back in some way.Â
"Feels good?" you checked, your fingers itching to touch him some more.
He nodded, swallowing hard, his hand no longer rubbing along your back but gripping your ass. "Yeah, kitten, feels really good."
"Good," you hummed, returning your attention to his cock.
You dragged the pads of your fingers up and down, up and down, then down further still as you explored the foreign texture of his sack.
"Fuck, you're gonna drive me crazy," Ransom gritted. He reached for your hand, guiding it back to his cock. "Like this, grip it and squeeze a little. Yeah, fuck, just like that, stroke it nice and slow."
You squirmed as Ransom groaned, his head dropping back against the bed as you pressed your thighs together and continued to touch him the way he showed you.Â
You were mesmerized by his cock, the weight and girth of it in your hand, the way touching him in such a simple way could reduce him to a moaning, groaning mess. And when the head of his length started to dribble white cream, you perked up, swiping it away with your thumb before sucking it into your mouth with a hum.
"Ohhhhkay, that's it," Ransom moved so fast, you squeaked, rolling you beneath him as he settled between your legs. "Please tell me that you're ready for more?"
You blinked at him, your taste buds still tanging with the salt of his pre-cum. "More?"
"I wanna be inside you. Wanna fill you up with my cock," he groaned, rutting against your stomach.
When your eyes went comically wide, your mouth dropping open, Ransom huffed a laugh, his shoulders shaking with mirth as he dropped his forehead to yours.
"Jesus, you're so fucking sweet, c'mere," he murmured.Â
When he cradled your cheek with his hand and descended on you with a round of hungry, thorough kisses, you hummed your appreciation, your fingers sinking into Ransom's hair as your lips met his press for press.
"Can I have you now, kitten?" Ransom murmured against your lips, his eyes heavy-lidded as he ground against you with a quiet groan. "Want you so bad."
"Yes," you didn't hesitate to reply, letting your legs fall open even further around him in invitation. "Wanna make you feel good, too."
You pet along his hair, dazzled by how beautiful Ransom looked like this, desperate and needyâfor youâhis handsome face flushed and his eyes blown fat and black with lust.
You felt Ransom's hand drop between your bodies, another quiet moan hitching in his throat as he prepped himself with a few strokes before he was guiding his cock to your entrance.
He paused then, blinking some of the lust addled haze from his eyes as he watched your face. "Relax for me," he instructed just as the head of his cock caught along your fluttering hole.
Your breath hitched at the unfamiliar feeling, but you tried your best to listen to Ransom, letting your body sink even further into the mattress beneath you as your fingers dug into his back.Â
He plunged into you slowlyâcarefullyâhis lips parting and eyes fluttering as you gasped at the strange feeling of his body joining with yours.
The stretch of his cock filling you up was unlike anything you had ever felt before. There was a slight twinge of discomfort but it became a distant memory the longer you watched Ransom, saw the way pleasure and relief danced along his features as he moaned and gently rocked against you.
Your breath hitched as he reached his limit, feeling so full and floaty as you realized you'd gone most of your life not even realizing how empty you were until now.
That there had always been this space inside of you, waiting to be filled by another.
And the fact that it was RansomâŠ
It was Ransom inside of you, his body now one with yours, making you feel whole for the first time in your life.
You whined in overwhelmâand greedy desire for more, for himâyour hands sliding along Ransom's back and yanking him flush against you, your desperation to feel more of him consuming you.Â
"You okay?" he asked, his brow furrowing with concern and his jaw gritting as you clenched around him hard. "Fuck."
"More, please," you pleaded softly. "Make me feel good. Make us feel good, please, Ransom?"
"I've got you, kitten," he murmured, dropping his lips to yours for a kiss.
When his body started to rock against yours, his hips pushing and pulling, you swore your body lit up like a sunrise.
You felt that feeling from before start to build up deep inside of you, growing stronger and stronger with every deep plunge of Ransom's cock inside of you. Eager to feel that bone rattling release from beforeâthe pinnacle of your pleasureâyou curled your legs over his hips, moving your body against his.
"Oh god, that's it," Ransom moaned, his hand finding yours on the bed and lacing your fingers together as he dropped his forehead to yours. "Squeeze around me, kitten, squeeze my cock, let me feel you."
Whining, you tried to do what he wanted, victory washing over you as Ransom groaned, his hips snapping harder as he sought his pleasure in the deepest depths of your body.
"Fuck, so good, you feel so good," he babbled, grunting as he gave a particularly deep thrust and lingered inside of you, panting against your parted lips.
You watched him, mesmerized, the sight of Ransom unraveling before your eyes driving you closer and closer to the edge.
And when he slid his free hand between your bodies and started rubbing at your clit as his pace increased, you finally tipped over the edge of that exquisite, blissful precipice that you so longed to revisit.
You gave a quiet keen as your body seized, your orgasm rocking through you so hard that it made Ransom groan as you clamped down on his cock and writhed beneath him.
"Oh god, fuck, I'm so close, s'close," he muttered, panting as he pounded into you. He nipped at your bottom lip, groaning as you whimpered and gave him another squeeze before going pliant and boneless beneath him. "M'Cumming."
Mewling as Ransom gave another hard, deep plunge, your insides quivered before he suddenly pulled out of you, nestled his cock between your sopping folds, and rutted against you until he finished.
You watched, wide eyed and mouth parted in a little 'o', as he came with a series of quiet grunts and moans, his cum spurting all along your cunt and belly in warm, creamy ribbons until he was finally spent.
"Fuck," Ransom breathed, sinking back on his haunches between your sprawled legs and gazing down at your messy pussy like it was his most cherished treasure.
You squirmed as he reached out and rubbed your combined messes all over your folds, jolting as the pressure on your clit had you squeaking in surprise.
Grinning, Ransom slowly crawled over you, his eyes so warm and his hair falling over his forehead as he touched your cheek like you were as delicate as finely spun glass and kissed you until you were both panting for breath.
"God, that was amazing," he hummed, stealing one more kiss before flopping down on the bed beside you. "You good, kitten?"
"Very good," you nodded, watching as he tucked a hand behind his head, his eyes fluttering shut as he sighed in content. "Thank you."
"Ditto," he grinned, his eyes still closed and his free hand blindly reaching for you, until you pressed your palm to his and twined your fingers together as you shimmied closer to him.
He was so beautiful like this, and he looked so happy, so at peaceâfor onceâand you did that.
Smiling to yourself, you perched your chin on the side of his chest, enjoying the quiet together as your eager gaze flickered all along Ransom's naked body. You tentatively reached out and touched the wiry hair on his chest, surprised by the coarseness of it.
When you shifted closer to touch him some more, you suddenly became hyper aware of the mess all along your thighs and core. You glanced down, realizing Ransom's seed was starting to dry and pull against your skin uncomfortably.
You frowned, realizing how dirty you were.
You didn't like to be dirty.
"Hey, you okay?"
Your head popped up, your startled eyes finding Ransom's.
There was still a smile tugging at his lips, but his eyes were shining in concern now, too.
"Need to get clean, please," you told him, gently pushing yourself up to a sit and frowning down at yourself. "Please."Â
At the ring of desperationâa different kind than beforeâin your voice, Ransom immediately sat up beside you. His big hand touched your back as he smiled at you. "Yeah, of course, come on."
He corralled you to your feet and laughed when you went to leave his room to retreat to your own.Â
"Not tonight, kitten. Tonight you're staying with me."
Your face lit up, a big, beautiful smile breaking free as you replied, "I am?!"
"You are," Ransom confirmed, leading you into his bathroom and the big glass shower beyond.
He was quick to get you both cleaned up, being extra gentle with you, especially once you started to sag against him in exhaustion.Â
Soon he was donning a pair of boxer briefs and tugging one of his clean t-shirts over your head before leading you back to his bed.
"I can sleep in your bed tonight? With you?" you gave him a sleepy smile, so sweetly excited that Ransom couldn't help but laugh.Â
"Yep." He kissed the tip of your nose before pulling back the covers and gesturing you inside.Â
Once he joined you, you immediately snuggled close, clinging to him as your eyes grew heavier and heavier with each passing second.Â
"I made you feel good, too?" you murmured, glancing up at him with a hopeful look.Â
"Yeah, kitten, you were incredible." Ransom smoothed a hand over your head. "You made me feel so good, sweetheart."
You quietly trilled your delight, nuzzling against his bare chest, so close to sleep but still unable to stop yourself from gazing up at Ransom with a soft smile. You reached up, gently touching his lips and smiling as he caught your fingers in his and kissed the tip of each one.
There was a different kind of feeling building up in you now, something vibrant and happy and glowing.Â
As you stared up at Ransom, on the receiving end of that soft, warm look in his eye, after the night you had just shared together, you finally realized what he was to you.
And it was so far beyond a simple friend.
But you were too tired to find the words to express it, so you just snuggled closer and reached for his hand, fitting your fingers between his before your joined hands settled against his bare stomach.Â
"Good night, Ransom," you whispered, your words slurring with exhaustion and making him smile.
"Really good night," Ransom replied, earning one final giggle from you before you were drifting off, his next words lingering in your mind as you surrendered to sleep, "Sweet dreams, kitten."
And they were.
OKAY. THESE TWO. I JUST ::FLAPPY HANDS:: THE LOVE I HAVE FOR THEM IS ENDLESS. PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO DROP A COMMENT. â€ïž
NEXT PART
â
I no longer do tag lists, but if you'd like to be notified when I post new writing, follow my side blog @âsirisshamelesshoelibrary and turn on notifications to get pinged when I drop some new hoe fuel đ
Please note that I do not give permission for my work to be translated, reposted, or published anywhere other than my Tumblr. Reblogs are most welcome and encouraged though! â€ïž
ExHusband!Andy Barber who was devastated. The documents were laid out in front of him, mocking his pain. Three years of married bliss, five of you in his life, now coming to their fateful end.
ExHusband!Andy Barber who smiled still, hiding the tremble of his hands as he signed the pages.
ExHusband!Andy Barber who kissed the back of your hand, a goodbye he didn't want to miss, as you headed back to your parent's place.
ExHusband!Andy Barber who drove back home that evening with static in his head, a deafening silence echoing through the mess that was his brain. You were gone now.
ExHusband!Andy Barber who opens the door to his house with the keys that had your initials engraved. Who walks in the hallway with all your pretty flowers and frames. Who sits down on the couch you picked out, staring at the half empty coffee cup on the table-- your cup, with your lipstick still smudged on the edge.
ExHusband!Andy Barber who goes to bed, inhaling in your scent that still clung to every fibre of the sheets. Who cries, for the first time since you told him about the divorce, as he hugged the blanket.
ExHusband!Andy Barber who realised then and there that he won't ever move on. He couldn't!
ExHusband!Andy Barber who keeps all your stuff exactly in its place, never drifting an inch away. The engravings? Polished. The flowers? Watered and trimmed. The coffee cup? Still half drunk.
ExHusband!Andy Barber who remembers all the times he made you smile. The way your pliant, wrecked body reacts to him as he leads you to delightful ruin.
ExHusband!Andy Barber who smiles as he looks down at your sleeping form, caressing your soft skin as he takes his time relishing your taste.
ExHusband!Andy Barber who just can't move on.
I'm sorry for my absence guys uni is doing exactly what uni does...drain the life out of me đ
but I was horny for andy....and i missed him and I listened to this song and I was in the feels, and I missed youđ„č
Summary: a new neighbour moves in and changes everything.
Character: Frank Castle
Warnings: dubcon, noncon, NSFW. This is a dark drabble like most of my stuff so take this as your warning to stop reading.
Part of the Trailer Park AU
Please leave a comment and reblog. Or send an anon ask! Always happy to hear from y'all. â„ïžâ€ïž
"We got things to do." Frank says again. You can't think of one. You have nothing going on. Nothing that belongs to you. "Be good to get some distance, huh?"
You shrug and stare at the floor. You sit on the fold out sofa and mope. "I guess..." You murmur. You swallow. "Thank you, Frank. But... My grandma is right, I can't do anything right--"
"What do you mean? You made me that dragonfly. You make good coffee. And you got a sweet soul, girl. We're not gonna listen to her. And we're done talking about her." He says as he slides his wallet off the counter top and flips it open quickly before closing it and tucking it in his pocket.
"I'm sorry." You sniffle.
"Don't need none of that," he drawls gently as he puts his keys in his pocket. "I don't think I got no shoes that'll stay on ya, so..." He approaches and you get up.
"Oh... Yeah..." You look down at the borrowed socks. Even rolled, they're slipping off.
"No worries." He says and scoops you up just like the night before. You're just as surprised, letting out a pitchy help. "You best to stay off that foot anyhow."
"Frank." You gasp.
"My name never sounded nicer, I think." He chortles. "Come on."
He carries you outside and around his truck. He has you open the door before he puts you up on the seat. You steady yourself and sheepishly smile.
"Don't forget to buckle in." He warns and shuts the door.
He strides around and climbs into the driver's side. He twists the ignition as you pull down the seatbelt. He grips the ridge wheel with one hand and cranes to back out.
"First thing, we'll get ya some shoes." He says as he cranks the wheel to put the truck straight.
"Um, oh... But..."
"I don't want ya to worry about it. Let me tell you, I never do nothing I don't wanna." He steers along the gravelly road. You refuse to look at your grandma's lot. "'sides I got other things to take care of. Been meaning to and all."
You nod and rub your palms together nervously. You stare out the windshield, floating off into the full blue of the sky. The engine rumbles through your anxious trance. Frank's not gonna put up with you forever, no one does.
You wince as Frank reaches in your peripheral. He flips the radio on. It lights up as the cassette inside winds through the track in progress.
They say compassion is a virtue, but I don't have the time
So many people have no problems
I'm not interested in their problems
I guess I'll experience some problems
The man's unique voice and cadence underline each lyric with an erratic energy. It's different. Confusing but intriguing.
Frank pulls into town as the music feeds your anxiety. He stops at a plaza and cranks the shifter to park. He clears his throat and runs his hands over his hair.
"I'ma run in quick and get something to put on your feet for now." He explains. "What's your size, sugar?"
It takes a moment to answer. You've been shoving your feet into too small hand me downs for years so you tell him a size bigger than the faded numbers on the insoles. He slaps the wheel before he goes, telling you to lock the doors.
You reach over to push down the metal stick on his side. He stalks into the general store as you wring your hand around two fingers. You can't do anything but what he tells you to. There's nothing bad about that but you need to figure out what you'll do when he's done with you. It's happened twice, it'll happen again. You can't always be someone else's problem.
Frank comes back out. You unlock the door for him and he sighs as he get in. He looks down at the pair of cotton shoes in his hand. The cotton ones with eyelets but no shoelaces, just an elastic strap sewn inside.
âIt's what they had.â He offers. âBut it'll do for now. There's a place a town over. I wanted to go there insteadââ
âIs it far?â You ask as you take the shoes. âThanks. They're cute.â
âYeah? They only had grey.â
âIt's good.â You assure him.
âAin't too far,â he clicks his seatbelt into place. âWon't complain for time together, huh?â
You carefully bend your legs, one at a time, and slip on the shoes over your socks. You hum in agreement, nothing else to say in your head. He pulls out of the lot and continues onto the roads.
âTape's done,â he says as you get to the town limit sign. âThere's some more in the glove box. Your choice.â
âOh, um, I just listen to whatever uhâŠâ you stop yourself from mentioning your grandma. âOkay.â
You open the glove box as he ejects the tape. He hands it over and you switch out The Talking Head for Fleetwood Mac. You know them a little.
âGood ear.â He praises as he blows down the country roads.
âMm, I just picked whatever.â
âNo complaints from me,â he intones.
You look out the window and watch the trees dwindle to farmland then pop back up. You nearly squeal as a weight settles on your shoulder and squeeze. âYou okay?â Frank asks as he steers around a bend with his other hand.
âGood,â you cheep as you put your head straight.
âAlmost there.â He promises as his hand trails down your arm and he lets go.
âOkay,â you accept as you wiggle your foot anxiously.
âMaybe we'll grab something to eat while we're at it. It's gon be a long day.â He says.
âOh?â
âYeah, honey, you take your time. I want you to pick stuff you like.â He explains.
âErm.â You chew your lip.
âYou know, this isn't probably where you wanna be. Stuck with me.â He says. âBut we'll figure out, won't we?â He shifts slightly and stretches his neck with a grunt. âYou're a nice woman and you're creative. You got a lot goin' for ya and I'm sure once you know it, you'll be leavinâ me in the dust.â
âWhat?â You squeak. âNo.â
âIt's okay. I'm an old man, sug. And you're soâŠâ he goes quiet and shrugs, fingers tapping on the wheel. âWell, ya know, I'm just an old soldier. I'm used to losing people.â
You pout. Your heart sinks. You don't want to hurt him or anyone. If only he knew, how afraid you are of him doing the same to you.
Your follower celebration looks so fun! Here's my prompt:
Ransom - âYes, Iâm aware. Your point?â - female, short reader - soft!dark
Thank you and congratulations!!
Thank you so much for this Party Favor, Kris. It was a lot of fun to play with some angst for a bit. I hope you enjoy this, my dearest Queen of Angst.
Doing What's Right
Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x F!Reader
Word Count: 1097
Summary: Ransom can see the writing on the wall for his family's crime syndicate, and his only concern is getting you out safe, even if it means irreparably damaging everything you've built together.
Warnings: angst; breakup
A/N: Why are all my soft!dark men just soft in the end? I really tried to make him a bit darker (and he's a bit mean to Reader but for reasons) and he is part of a crime family/mafioso, so that counts, right?
"Are you sure this is what you want, Drysdale?" Agent Rogers asked, his features softening despite the circumstances of their meeting. "If you do this, then there's no going back. She's going to hate you for this."
Ransom swallowed.
Everything in him burned to walk out of the room, never looking back. To get back to you and pretend the world around you two wasn't about to burn. Not through his actions but because his uncle had gotten too greedy, too overreaching, and now his entire family would suffer. His grandfather's empire would be history within a lot sooner than the old man could've foreseen. His mother's business had already taken discreet hits, but it, too, would soon seen every file and receipt seized and studied, leaving nothing overlooked as the FBI brought them all down, took them all in.
If only his uncle hadn't brought you into this, then Ransom wouldn't be here, becoming the government's key witness against all his grandfather had built up.Â
But Walt had.
So, Ransom could only nod at Agent Rogers, his hands clenched into fists in his lap. The hard metal of the cuffs dug into his wrists, but he didn't care. Nothing mattered but you at this point, and he'd do you this last favor because he owed it to you.Â
"Just make sure she stays safe, and I'll give you everything you need."Â
Agent Rogers nodded, his knuckles tapping the table before he stood to exit the room.Â
Ransom dropped his head to the table, not realizing or really caring that Rogers had stopped near the door.Â
"Would you like to see her a final time? Explain things yourself. Maybe make it less awful than it's going to be."
He hesitated.Â
If he saw you, could he actually go through with this plan? Could he actually make it so you walk away from him, angry but unscathed? Or would he crumble, and worse, beg you to not leave him while his world imploded?Â
No.
No, he was doing this right.Â
He'd already sworn to himself he would do right by you.Â
But, he did want to see you.Â
He could do this.Â
He could make this the goodbye you need to move on.Â
So, he nodded.
Agent Rogers left then, but returned within minutes with you in tow.
Tears streaked down your face as you rushed to his side. Your arms wrapped around him the best they could with his current position and cuffed hands. God, you looked even smaller than you were with the way you tried to fit his massive body in your shorter arms. "What's going on, Ran? Why are you here? Why are you cuffed? Is this about your family?"
"All you need to know is that you're going with him," he nodded towards Agent Rogers stood near the doorway. "He's going to set you up somewhere far away from here. You're getting a second chance."
"I don't want it," you swore, your gaze never leaving Ransom, "not without you."Â
"Look, Polly Pocket, this was never meant to last. We've run our course, and it's time to move on."Â
You lurched away from him as if you'd been burned. In a way, you had.Â
Ransom knew how sensitive you could be about your shorter stature, but he had to play dirty here. If he didn't, you wouldn't leave. That was the one thing he couldn't afford to have happen. So he pushed on, the words tasting as bitter as days-old coffee. "Go and find someone more your size, yeah? Or at least someone whose knees and back don't kill them every time they're wanting some loving from you."
He refused to say how much he liked how his back and knees ached every time he brought you pleasure. He'd do it a million times over just to have you shaking beneath him and looking at him as if he were worth all your sacrifices. He had his mission, and he wouldn't deviate from it.Â
"You're being such an asshole," you hissed, swiping away your tears with fisted hands.Â
He swallowed but nodded. "Yeah, I'm aware. What's your point? Not sure why you're still here. Go on and leave, will ya?"
"This isn't you," you whispered, conviction clear as was the sadness that had so quickly replaced your anger.Â
Ransom swallowed again, but pushed on. "Maybe I was pretending to be better, darlin'. Just to see what it's like with a shorty like you, but it was never going to last. Like you said, I'm an asshole. Assholes get what they deserve, don't they?"
"And you deserve whatever you're doing now?"
"Yeah, I do," he murmured, meeting your teary gaze for a final moment before swiveling to Agent Rogers, "Get her out of here, huh? I've said what I needed to say, so why's she still here?"
Rogers appeared ready to argue, but Ransom shook his head.Â
It was better this way. Let you be angry at him. Let you believe you were better off without him in your life. You probably were. Your life will go on, and you'll find someone who'll love you the way you deserve without all the baggage that he'd bring to you. That's the clean break he could give you from the life you two had been building.Â
"Come along, miss," Rogers said softly to you, his hand reaching out but not quite touching. "Agent Levinson is finishing up your paperwork. I'll have you look it over and make sure it's as it should be. Then, we'll take you somewhere safe tonight."Â
You stared at Ransom for a long moment.Â
He could feel the heat of it even as he kept his gaze locked on the wall beyond Rogers' shoulder.Â
Just as he could feel when you finally turned to walk away. Your final words were little more than a whisper, but they might as well have been shouted as you said, "I forgive you, Ransom Drysdale. I hope whatever you're doing here tonight works out for the better. I really do."
You left then and didn't look back.Â
He knew you wouldn't, and he couldn't say it didn't kill him that you didn't.Â
But that was for the best.Â
They'd warned him the mob life wasn't a place for you, and they'd been right.Â
But it also turned out it wasn't meant for him, either, but he'd learned that too late.Â
And it'd cost him the only person who'd ever meant the world to him.Â
It had cost him the future he'd always wanted but would never accomplish.
Characters/Pairings: soft!dark mafia Andy Barber x curvy Millennial female!reader
Word Count: 4.7k
Summary: Your flight home is defined by a heavy silence, only broken near the end with a tense conversation between you and Andy before the plane touches down. Once you're home, there are two surprises waiting for you: one you love and one that you don't know what to do with.
Author Note: It's IYM!Monday/Sunday eve again! I know many of you were angry with Andy after the last chapter. I hope enough of you are willing to keep reading...
Previous Part | Full Collection
The flight in the private jet back to Boston is the first time youâre confined to a space alone with Andy since the morning after everything unraveled at the villa. The two of you had orbited around each other, and heâd only forced your company for the social engagements. It had been shocking, and you had expected there to be some point at which heâd demand an interaction.
But he hadnât.
Even the morning of your departure, thereâd been a note left on the kitchen counter that there was business associate he and Lloyd had to take a meeting with, and so heâd see you on the tarmac.
He hadnât taken any meetings for nearly seven weeks, so why he had one on your final day seemed like an excuse, but one you were glad heâd made.
You keep to yourself for the first hour, blanketing yourself in music and noise-canceling the entire plane. The flight attendant brings you food; you turn it down. Andy doesnât even look up from his tablet or whatever heâs staring at. Youâre astounded by the discipline, the sheer restraint. Seven weeks of being togetherâsleeping together, eating together, sometimes not even breathing unless the other was in the roomâand now youâre basically anonymous passengers to each other on a plane. You should be grateful for the reprieve, but it makes you feel something worse than anger. Itâs a fatigue thatâs half heartbreak and half relief, an exhaustion so deep it feels stitched into your bones, making it hard to want anything at allânot even vengeance.
For the last week youâve harbored the exhaustion of wanting something youâre ashamed of wanting, the kind that makes thirty-five thousand feet of sky feel like the bottom of the ocean.
Even now, you think about calling your mom or calling Thea, and you canât stomach it. You donât want to be the fool who messed up again, and you know neither of them would let you feel that way, you do know that. But you still canât stomach having to talk about everything thatâs happened.
You look up at the roof of the cabin when the familiar ache at the back of your throat gets worse, when you realize your vision has gone blurry at the edges. You let yourself cry only once at the villa. You donât want to be crying, and you certainly donât want him to see it, but of course he does.
You feel it before you look upâthe cabin contracting, his attention shifting from deliberate absence to something still and fixed. When you look over, heâs there, eyes on you, not bothering to look away.
Heâs not glaring. Heâs not smirking. Heâs just sitting there, hands braced on his knees, head slightly lowered, as if heâs waiting for a verdict or maybe for you to say somethingâbut you have nothing to say to him, not right now, not ever in a way that wouldnât cost you more than you can afford.
You press the heels of your palms into your eyes until you see stars, then look away, back to the window. Nothing out thereâjust black, the kind that makes you feel like the plane is standing still, like thereâs nowhere left to arrive. The hum of the cabin fills in around the edges. You. Him. Whatever it is youâre going to have to figure out how to carry when you land.
He does finally speak, somewhere over Newfoundland, in a tone so flat it could almost be the engine noise.
He says your name. Not Mrs. Not wife. Just your first name, like itâs a code word or a trigger. It floats across the cabin and you can feel it snag deep in your ribs, a sudden, sharp tug. You keep your eyes straight ahead.
âI know I canât fix what happened in Italy,â he says. His voice is calmânot soft, not kind, just controlled. âBut I want to know if youâre coming back to Boston as my partner, or as my hostage.â
You laugh, a sharp, biting sound that comes out before you can stop it. âWas there ever a choice?â
He lets it hang. The cabin is silent but for the white noise of engines and air rushing past aluminum. Quite reluctantly, you look at him. Heâs leaned forward in his seat, elbows braced, hands locked tightly together.
âI need you to understand something,â he says, and the rattle of the cart in the galley is the only sign the world is continuing outside of this conversation. âThe life weâre going back to is not going to feel like that house.â
âYou made that abundantly clear,â you say, âYou told me yourselfâliminal space, not real life. Isnât it a relief to get back to the world you designed?â
He doesnât answer at first. He lets the words pool between you, absorbs them. His stare is unwavering, stripping away the distance between your seats, but itâs not cruelâif anything, itâs the most exposed youâve seen him outside the night he gave you his motherâs brush.
âNo, itâs not a relief,â Andy says finally. âItâs a liability.â He stops. Inhales. âYouâre a liability.â
You did not expect those words, and almost lands as an insult, but instead youâre almost proudâfinally, something true and ugly, not polished for effect. âIâll try not to be,â you say with a humorless smile, but the ache in your throat is getting worse, and now itâs not from fatigue.
He sighs, and you hear the edge of human tiredness in him, not the constructed fatigue of someone performing the part. âI know I was ruthless with you. I know what I am.â
The questions of why did you do any of it, then? why take the risk? why force me? why pretend? swirl in you like a storm, but you donât let any of them out in this moment.
Instead, you venture, âDo you want to know what I hate the most?â You give him a look so sharp you hope it draws blood, but youâre too tired for real malice. âI hate that it was good. I hate that you were better than I expected in ways that made me want things I couldnât have. I hate that you made me want to stay, and then made it impossible to stay.â You take in a deep breath and then say the worst part. âI hate that Iâm heartbroken.â
Andy absorbs this. He doesnât try to talk you down or walk back the truth youâve lobbed at him. He just rubs a hand over his bearded jaw, and when it drops away, you see the faint trembling in his fingers.
âI didnât want it to end that way,â he says at last, staring at the tabletop between you like it might yield the correct answer if he keeps staring. âI thought if I took you far enough away, surrounded us with something perfect, we couldâŠâ He searches for the word, but even he doesnât seem to know what shape to give it. âIt doesnât matter.â
You almost want to ask him what it was supposed to be between you, but what does it matter? How are you supposed to trust any of it?
Andy turns his head, gaze fixed on the oval window, the blue-white arc of the jetâs wing. âI canât shut it off,â he says after a long beat. âI thought with you, maybeââ He stops. âI wanted to.â
You blink, not sure you heard it right. Maybe heâs angling for sympathy, but the words donât quite land that way; theyâre surrendered, not given.
You almost say, I wanted that, too. But the words feel buried under the weight in your throat. Youâve been in almost this spot with him before, and you wonât give him another soft admission this time.
You remember the reverence in his voice one of those blissful, happy nights in Lake Como, a tone youâd never heard before.
âI like us here,â heâd murmured into your ear.
And you, caught in the spell of it, had admitted, âI do, too.â
âIâll be in New York for the next week. Maybe two.â Like heâs talking about going out for a carton of milk. âThere are things I need to set in order since Iâve been gone.â
Everything inside you wants to spit something cruel, but you just nod, keeping your eyes fixed on the window. âYouâll have Shep and Mark. Iâm not leaving you unprotected. ButâŠâ he pauses. Sighs, the word dissolving before itâs fully formed. âYou can do what you want with the time.â You wonder if he thinks this is a kindness. If he expects gratitude. You say nothing. The silence endures, painful, invasive. He says, âIâll be out of your way,â again, softer, and this time you almost believe he means it as penance.
You land at Logan airport. The customs officials board the plane and clear you for re-entry. The black Range Rover is waiting on the tarmac, backseat climate-controlled and softly lit, Mark up front, Shep waiting with the rear door open, his posture all respectful deference and zero curiosity.
Andy doesnât make a show of seeing you to the car. He simply helps load your bag in the trunk and shakes Shepâs hand as if heâs passing along a charge. Thereâs no hug, no goodbye, but there is one last look. Short, and with a nod. Then heâs on the phone before youâve finished getting into the back seat, and heâs striding back to climb the stairs into the plane and leave you for New York.
The cityâs lights seem surgical after weeks of olive oil and sun, a whole different wavelengthâunfamiliar, then familiar, because Boston is still utterly, inescapably home. The perimeter of things you have to face here is coming into focus, and beyond the ache in your ribcage and the hollowing exhaustion, there is a brittle sense that you are braced for it. At least some parts are. The rest is raw and soft and probably always will be.
You expect the house to be cold and dark, but you forgot that Andyâs people would keep the mechanisms of daily life humming and stoke them back to full life for your return. The lights are on, the entry immaculate, flowers everywhere.
The re-entry is a shock to the system. You wander upstairs and stand under the showerâs sterile, even heat, so different from the sun-warmed water at the villa. You let the cold marble chill your feet, a grounding sensation, and watch condensation erase your reflection in the glass.
You are halfway dried off and dressed in a robe when you hear Shepâs voice through the hallway, relaying some detail of tomorrowâs schedule to Markâsomething about groceries and deliveries and your standing appointment at the studio. You almost want to cry at the normalcy. The urge to resent Andy for anticipating all your needs, for giving you back this version of your life like itâs a favor is strong, and yet itâs a relief to not have to fight for things to start up again.
You are almost ready to crawl into bed and lose yourself in a marathon of whatever the algorithm serves you, but thereâs a knock at your bedroom door. Youâre so unused to being summoned that your first thought is that you imagined it. The knock comes again, firmer.
A voice follows: âMaâam?â Itâs Shep.
You cinch the robe, open the door. Shep stands there, hands folded in front of him, gaze respectfully averted.
âShep, you really canât keep calling me âmaâam.â Youâre, what? Eight? Ten years older than me? Itâs weird.â
He gives a short, almost silent laugh. âForgive me. Itâs not a matter of age. Itâs justânever first names, not in this line of work.â His words settle with a gentle finality, as if heâs stating one of the few things in his world that is simply not negotiable. You want to argueâtease, evenâbut thereâs a dignity in Shepâs posture that tells you heâs not performing. Itâs not subordination, but a kind of personal code. âIf you donât want maâam, I can use Mrs. Barber, or an equivalent. But never your first name. Thatâs not respectful.â
You almost smile at this. âFine,â you say, âmaâam if you absolutely must. But you can drop the tone like youâre addressing the principal.â
He nods, a fraction less rigid. âUnderstood.â The corner of his mouth lifts, just barely.
âIs this just a courtesy check, or?â
âNo, thereâs a small matter that needs your attention down in the kitchen.â
âAlright, give me just a moment.â
He nods, and you close the door. You throw on leggings and a cashmere sweater, not bothering with makeup or anything else, and head down the wide staircase, following Shep. âWhat about a nickname? Like my security detail codename! You have those for us, right? Like the Secret Service?â
âYour codename on the records is âMrs. Barber.ââ
âThatâs lame,â you huff. âIt literally couldnât be anything more interesting than that?â
Shepâs shoulders hint at a shrug, and the movement smooths out his usual ex-military stony bearing. âHe insisted upon it from day one, maâam, but we all would have. Codenames are for assets, not family. Youâre not an asset.â
âI might as well be,â you mutter. But you drop it as Shep steers you into the kitchen, where the lights are bright, the air is flush with the smell of American fast food, and two figures youâd know anywhere are such a profound relief you could weep.
Your parents are standing at the island, your father in his battered Red Sox sweatshirt and your mother wearing a navy cardigan you would have called âteacher-coreâ if you had the emotional bandwidth for jokes. Sheâs unpacking a paper bag from Shake Shack, a guilty-pleasure custom sandwich in each hand. Your dad is setting out cartons of fries and the crinkle-cut pickles that only your mother will touch, and both parents look up in the same instant when they see you.
For one sharp, embarrassing second you nearly cry. Not from homesickness, but an animal relief you didnât realize youâd been holding at bay for weeks. Youâre in your own kitchen, your parents are here, and you have never felt so much like a child in your adult life.
Your mother, of course, crosses the kitchen in three steps, gathers you in a hug so tight you hope your ribs pop. She doesnât let go, not when your dad comes around to add his own arms, both of them holding you in a sandwich of warmth and cheap detergent and fryer grease.
She smells your hair, then cups your jaw with one hand, tilting your face to the light. âYou look too thin,â she says, which is her form of âI missed you so much it hurts,â and you almost laugh, because you know you undoubtedly filled out more with all the indulgent meals and sweets that you never worried about at the villa.
âOh, sheâs fine,â your dad says, and then to you, âYou look great, kid.â He scuffs your shoulder and draws you in, rolling his eyes at your mother in the way of a man who has built his whole life around loving her, and of course you.
You mumble something about not expecting them, as you step back.
âDid we overstep?â your mom flusters. âAndy texted us yesterday that you were coming home but that he had to go directly out of town for a bit, and he said thereâd be nobody here to greet you. I thoughtââ
âWe didnât want you coming home to an empty house,â your father finishes.
Youâre hit with the double impact of their presenceâthe comfort of being known and the mortification of being inspected by people who will always see more than you want them to.
âYou didnât overstep,â you say, because you realize itâs the closest thing to relief youâve felt since boarding the plane. âI just. Iâm really glad to see you.â
Your mother beams. âYou donât have to thank us, dear. You know weâd walk through fire for you.â She is, as ever, immediately in motion, pulling a chair out and patting it, already unwrapping your sandwich, refilling your water bottle, doggedly ignoring the bags under your eyes and the maternal worry warping every word. âSit, sit, and tell us everything.â
You sit with them at the kitchen island, because thatâs what youâve always done, and let them fuss and fill your plate and ask questions you are both eager and terrified to answer as you fill your stomach with food that feels like home.
You do not tell your parents about the end of what happened in Italy, but you do tell them every detail of the lake, the food, the neighbors, and Lloydâyour mother wants to know everything, leaning forward on her elbows, and your father sits back with his arms crossed and a look on his face like he canât quite decide if Lloyd is the funniest thing heâs ever heard or if youâre making him up. You leave out his mafia affiliation, of course.
You focus on what isnât hard to say: the meals, the wine, the impossible blue of the water, the way Andy cooked from his motherâs recipe book. You skip all the nights of the last week, and edit your time down to just sun and laughter and the gradual narrowing of a world to the shape of the villa.
You let yourself be cared for. With every bite of the familiar food, every casual question about their friends, the tension in your shoulders eases. They are a shelter you didnât know you were desperate for. You watch them, these people who have nursed you through everything, and know their love could contain the entire ugly truth. But the words wonât comeânot about Andy, not about a marriage that feels both forced upon you and chosen, the two truths tangled so tightly you canât find the start of either one. Especially not now, with damage you havenât yet found the language for.
When your motherâs phone lights up mid-anecdote with a call from one of her friends, she excuses herself with an apologetic grimace and heads down the hall. You expect her to linger in the mudroom or maybe stand in the foyer, but she vanishes properly, leaving you and your father alone at the island.
He checks to make sure your mother is out of earshot, then sighs and leans in, folding his arms on the stone counter. Heâs never been good at letting silence hang, so you brace for the bluntness you know is coming.
He says your name, softly. âLevel with me. Are you okay?â
You look at your father, and your first impulse is to say, yes, of course, because you always want to be his strong, brave little girl. But youâre beyond empty, and the real answer is floating so close to the surface.
âNo,â you say. âBut I will be.â
He tilts his head, studying you, and you recall, with a sick kind of fondness, how your dad has never bought a single lie out of your mouth, not since you were six and inventing elaborate reasons for missing homework. He waits. His face settles into something patient and unguarded, the same expression you remember from every hard conversation youâve ever had at a kitchen table with this man.
You flex your fingers around your glass, smearing the condensation thatâs gathered there, and then you admit, honestly, âI donât know, Dad.â Your voice comes out calm, steadier than you expected. âThis all spun out a little faster than I thought it would.â
He nods slowly, his eyes dropping to the Shake Shack wrappers between you. âYour mother threw a plate at me once.â He says it quietly, picking at a napkin. â1987. Weâd been married two years. Iâm not telling you marriage is hardâyou know that.â He finally looks up, his eyes steady. âIâm just telling you itâs your choice. And if you ever needed to just⊠come home,â he gestures vaguely at the room around you, âyou could. You know that, right?â
You force yourself to nod, not trusting your throat to work around too many words. âI know. I do.â
Your fatherâs face breaks into a tiny smile, and itâs the only thing that keeps you from falling apart entirely. He squeezes your hand, then clears his throat. âItâs better with a full stomach,â he says, gesturing at the wrappers, âand better with company.â
Your mother returns, phone call over. âYou two didnât finish all the fries, did you?â
You shake your head and say, âWouldnât dare.â
Your father passes the rest of his fries to her, and your heart thrums happily watching them.
The evening winds into a tangle of low, sweet momentsâyour mother gushing over some of the gorgeous kitchen appliances, your dad quietly snooping through the fridge and coming back with four pints of ice cream, and insists you all do blind taste tests until your tongue is numb and you cannot stop laughing.
Eventually the yawns win out, your mother shooing you off the kitchen stool like a child past her bedtime. You protest, but your body sags in grateful relief as she ushers you up the stairs. Your parents gather their things, making you promise to come by theirs Sunday for brunch and any other night you just want company while Andyâs gone.
Back upstairs, you truly internalize that youâve never been alone like this in this bedroom alone before. Itâs the same room, the same balcony view, the same walk-in closet and familiar textures, but no one was waiting, and no one will eventually join you.
Andy is not here. He is not comingânot tonight, not for a week, probably not for longer.
The actuality of it feels weirdly hollow.
You drift through the motions of bedtime. You try to read for a bit, and youâre sure you do, but the words blur and ghost by. Your teeth are brushed, your face is washed; you canât quite remember doing either. You are so wrung out you can barely cobble together the will to change into pajamas. You settle for underwear and a t-shirt, and sink into the endless white of the sheets.
You fall into a deep, dreamless sleep, and when you surface again, itâs to a spill of midmorning light and an unfamiliar quiet. For a second you forget where you are. The confusion is clean, like you could be anyone and in any life, and you let it last until the dull ache in your chest has time to catch up, and you realize youâre in the bed, alone. You feel oddly rested. Not good, necessarily, but not the emotional hangover youâve been battling back bit by bit each day, either. Itâs as if your body has decided, somewhere deep inside, to metabolize all the heartbreak and embarrassment into a low, manageable hum now that youâre back in Boston.
You rouse yourself and stretch, expecting the sensation of Andyâs hand on your lower back, but thereâs only the cool rush of linen and your own skin. You lie there, staring up. The ceiling molds itself around the sunlight in a way that makes you ache for the lake villa, for the slow, gold mornings that rewired you to want gentleness.
You get up, pad across the cold floor, and spend an aimless hour in the shower, letting the spray needle your scalp until your thoughts turn clear. You towel off, dress comfortably, and head for the kitchen, not even bothering with a bra or shoes because this giant house is where you live and you donât care who sees you here.
After breakfast, you meander into your study, pleased to see your plants were well taken care of in your absence, but after only glancing at the elegant desk with your laptop, you wander back out and head upstairs again.
You settle for the easiest distraction: unpacking. Youâd only pulled out a couple of essentials the night before, and the suitcases are still half-zipped and listing open on the bench in the walk-in closet, the contents slumped and jumbled, exactly as you left them in the haze of last night. You unfold a tangle of linen dresses, roll up the last of the swimsuits. The second suitcase ends up containing the soft things youâd loved in Italy and the handful of gifts Andy had forced on you (a silk robe, the ridiculous but beautiful leather boots, the scarf youâre embarrassed you already missed). Youâre nearly finished when you see it: a heavy cream envelope, not sealed, with your name written in Andyâs all-caps print.
You pause, thumb knocking the edge, considering whether to open, wait for some future courage, or refuse to read it altogether.
You stand in the middle of the closet, the envelope dense with the weight of what it might contain, and make yourself hold it for a count of ten, the way you once trained yourself to resist the urge to scratch mosquito bites as a child. Then you set it on the bench, hands steady, and back away as if it might be hot to the touch. You busy yourself with the rest of the suitcase, but your eyes keep wandering to the envelope. Eventually, you give inâhow could you notâand stalk out of the closet, grab your phone, and hit Andyâs number before you can change your mind.
He answers before the second ring is finished. âI was waiting to see how long it would take,â he says, not quite soft, but without the shield of irony.
You donât let him steer any further, not this time. âI found your letter,â you say.
There is a half-beat of stillness, then, âYou havenât opened it yet.â Not a question. A reading of you, as accurate as it is infuriating.
âNo.â You squeeze the phone tighter, shift your weight from one foot to the other. âI hate you for knowing that.â You mean it to land with more weight, but it sounds raw.
âI figured youâd start with a text,â he replies, âbut this is better.â
You close your eyes and force yourself to inhale, to let the silence expand before finally finding the words you want. âI canât believe you wrote me a letter,â you tell him, and now the irritation has a shape and a target. âYou donât get to be Mr. Darcy. You donât get to drop all this on a page.â
Andy lets out a short, breathy laugh. âIâm not pretending to be noble or romantic, or whatever you want to call it. I wrote it because I thought⊠I thought it might be easier for you to hear without having to look at me. Or fight me. Or argue.â A pause. âAnd maybe as a showing that I heard you and that you can read it in your own time. Or you donât have to read it at all. Itâs your choice.â
You want to hang up, to tell him that nothing on a page can fix the fact that youâre speaking only because of a letter he left for you to find, like some reverse land mine meant to detonate all of your resolve. But you donât hang up.
âI might read it,â you say. You sit on the edge of the bed, the phone pressed to your ear. You donât look at the envelope. âBut since you might be listening, Iâll say this: I donât care what you wrote. I need you to know itâs not about the letter. Itâs about whether I can trust you to give me a real choice. A real relationship. Ever.â
Andyâs breathing is barely audible. âI know,â he says.
âIâm going to hang up now,â you tell him.
âOkay.â The word is a soft exhalation. Then he says your name, and you wait another moment before ending the call. âIf you ever want to talk, Iâll always answer. No matter what.â
For those of you who were hurt/betrayed/livid after last chapter: I want you to know Andy doesn't get a quick fix overnight. I promise.
For better or for worse, because of how things combusted between them in Italy, our reader is going to be more assertive, more resistant, and hold her boundaries and demands more firmly. She still holds complicated feelings for him, but the feelings won't excuse or circumvent things anymore.
â Main Masterlist | Aspen's Ask Box | Field Guide to the Forest
I do not do tag lists, but FOLLOW @buckets-and-stories and TURN ON NOTIFICATIONS to be updated any time I publish a new work!
Me preparing to read this: ::deep breath:: Okay, bring on the pain.
You should be grateful for the reprieve, but it makes you feel something worse than anger. Itâs a fatigue thatâs half heartbreak and half relief, an exhaustion so deep it feels stitched into your bones, making it hard to want anything at allânot even vengeance.
Yup, this hurts đ
Instead, you venture, âDo you want to know what I hate the most?â You give him a look so sharp you hope it draws blood, but youâre too tired for real malice. âI hate that it was good. I hate that you were better than I expected in ways that made me want things I couldnât have. I hate that you made me want to stay, and then made it impossible to stay.â You take in a deep breath and then say the worst part. âI hate that Iâm heartbroken.â
Okay. First, I loved her parents showing up. And her dad knowing things werenât all peachy. I think she really needed to be comforted in that way and seen by someone other than Andy.
Iâm glad Reader is more steely and guarded now, and also that we see some remorse in Andy, but just like Reader, I donât actually trust him or it or that it all wonât flip on its head eventually. Itâs kind of ironic in a really sad wayâI imagine because of Andyâs life and profession, absolute trust would be so important to him, and yet he keeps fucking it up with the person he seems to care about and want most. He needs a good, long period of groveling đ€
Although ngl Iâm dying to know whatâs in the letter đĄ
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch âą No registration required âą HD streaming
Itâs not even my birthday/birthday event yet, but Iâm already feeling so đ„° hearing about the stories some of you have in the cooker for this one. Thank you so much. A hoe is feeling the love đ„čâ€ïž
No, Ransom doesn't normally wear baseball caps, but you bought it for him and a matching one for yourself when he took you to Boston, so he wore it for you for like five minutes đ„°