hehehehehe

no way your narrow ass cloaca laid this egg

I'm just saying all I ever hear about is cock and balls and big naturals. When is the last time you saw a post about labia???? Get on it

His labia so fat and juicy he ask me to whack it with a tennis racket I say “of course sir”

his labia so plump i use it like a waterbed

his labia so squishy and touch-sensitive it belongs in the tide pool petting tank at the local aquarium

[scoffs] You couldn't PAY me to jack off to Brian Griffin! [remembers the state of the economy] Well, you could, but it would have to be a four figure amount. [remembers to be honest to myself] Three figures. [remembers not to devalue my own labor] Four figures.

sucking dick is demeaning

De meaning of life 😎

"He has a 12 inch cock" well my pussy ain't a fucking magicians hat bitch where is all that supposed to go

i wish cleaning the dishes was more fun. specially the bottles

on the subject of it often being out of character for characters to be having carefully negotiated bdsm sex in smut fics: 90% of metal gear ships are insane toxic yaoi and would definitely be having sex that is neither safe nor sane and only borderline consensual HOWEVER otacon and snavid would be thoroughly negotiating kinks before during and after sex like theyre doing mission briefings on a codec call

choking a girl's dick is known to improve mental health btw

Slutty slutty slutty

free use kink is gonna cost a dollar soon

(In the cuck chair)(starts booing)

(Wife looks over)(I do a roman emperor thumbs down)(she executes the other guy)