the magnus archives spoilers all over this blog

everyone else in the galaxy:

everyone on tatooine:

sam vimes’s natural anti-drunkenness (being knurd) is described as seeing the world the way it actually is, without all the comforting illusions people have for themselves. having a witch’s First Sight means that “you can see what really is there.” granny weatherwax says that evil starts with treating people as things, and, often but especially vividly in Feet of Clay, sam demonstrates repeatedly that he will not stand for the golems being treated as less than people, for the poor being treated as disposable by the rich and powerful, for anyone thinking that anyone else doesn’t matter. the hiver gets inside tiffany aching and reveals the Chalk in her soul. the summoning dark gets inside sam vimes and finds a city in there. and sam vimes knows how to be selfish, to claim his city and his people as his, to protect them. witches watch over people who are frequently small-minded and ungrateful and stubborn and they do it anyway because it’s what you do, because it needs to be done; and sam vimes says pretty much the same thing every time he considers the people of ankh-morpork. and you can call him mister vimes, but only if you’ve earned it.

doylist conclusion: terry pratchett knew what his taste in protagonists was

But Vimes and Vetinari meeting in what looks like a sewer? Out of the light? In secret? Like. How do you miss the point like that?

The whole point of The Watch books is accountability!!

Aside from their first meeting (and oh boy I just realised that Vetinari technically isn’t in power then, is he? He might be on top of things but he’s in a cell! He’s not the Patrician anymore!), Vimes and Vetinari always, always, always meet in Vetinari’s office (or other official space).

In the light, in a place where anyone can see them and know that meeting happened. Because they are to be held accountable for what they do!

So I looked up how these rules got started

-Don’t wear a hat inside: Medieval knights were more vulnerable if they removed their helmets. Because of this, removing it in a church or in the presence of royalty felt like a respectful act of humility. It’s rude to wear a hat indoors because 1500 years ago some soldiers wanted to show God and King that they trusted them not to stab them in the head

-Don’t put your elbows on the table: In the middle ages European royalty didn’t have dining tables in their banquet halls, they used a long board balanced on trestles and covered it with a table cloth. If you leaned on the table it would unbalance and topple. People are still telling kids not to put their elbows on the table because 1500 years ago some nobles didn’t want to be embarrassed by knocking over a make-shift table and ruining a feast

- WTG and Ghost Hunt UK merch 

-entity enamel pins and patches 

- shitty recruitment posters for all the fears

- S5 apocalypse roadtrip postcards (helens been taking all the photos)

- grifters bone band merch 

- theatre posters advertising the unknowing 

- literally your main antagonist is a bureaucratic douchbag with evil employment contracts and you dont have a terrible job fair poster for it?

- admiral and good cows stickers  because we need fluff 

- Breekon and Hope deliveries logo where the back of the van resembles a coffin 

- there are so many wild location in tma just make ‘dont visit the Tundra’ posters or something please 

- Leitner bookplate stickers

- Leitner front covers as posters 

- archives tea chart 

-pamphlets for the Daedalus mission with a ton of disclaimers at the bottom 

- ‘Ceaseless watcher turn your gaze upon this wretched thing’ booty shorts ok i said it

- Magnus institute employee badge, like the intern ones wtnv has 

- you have a class system that allows for multiclassing - making fucking top trump cards? for all the different monsters? or something along those lines

-a sticker of Leitner being beaten up by gerry 

- or brutal pipe murder too, honestly anything that involves Leitner getting his ass handed to him

-Gertrude with a machete … thats all 

- pride knife? represent?

- your eyes …. hand them over 

- literally there are so many eye jokes that could be made here 

- yall you got religious imagery in here, make some diptychs those would be so cool 

- please, im begging you, you can have gratuitous horror but please just use cannon designs for it i want the characters to be recognisable

- ok ok i get the quote merch is all well and good and most podcasts have them…….but…don’t just have the words? put them in a relevant shape or something just please …. don’t just have them be words 

- ‘have you seen this dog? if you have please help he shouldn’t be in the archives’

- merchable quotes speedrun GO:

    -brutal pipe murder

    - grubby jesus 

    - yes i know what a meme is

    - thats my rib

    - homophobic vase 

- sad but merchable quotes speedrun go :( 

    - unforgettable :(

    - i see you :(

    - not alone though :(    

    - i open the door :(